*been a long time*
Whoa.. i'm finally back it seems. Really a long time since i updated tis blog of mine. Ahh.. well, i'm updating now.
I guess i've made up my mind. I don't really need romantic love at tis stage of my life. Maybe i've given up on love already. There's really no point at all.. i've been foolish all along. For now it seems.
Nope, i didnt get rejected or neither did i break up wib someone recently. Suddenly it just hit me, falling in love may be easy but should u get into a relationship, its a whole new story.
I was chatting wib tis friend of mine, my klas mate for 2 years for sec 1 and 2. Never once was he linked with anybody, and im sure some of my frens, will probably die of shock if we do find out he gets attached. And nope, hes not ghey. He just don't feel the need of having girl friend. And I admire him for that.
Comparing him to my other frens whom are love sick or wallow in self pity after lost love, he is so much happier. Yes, it may feel weird when you see friends who are attached and ure not. they may be cuddling away and all. That's just a fraction of what couplehood is all about perhaps.
Yes loneliness, it hurts. comes without giving any warning, and leaves after making you feel miserable. The cure? Good friends who are singles, and whom are independent. Who needs girls when you've got loads of buddies right?
So all in all, searching for love will be fruitless. Maybe in love, its the only time you can wait under the tree, and the rabbit will lay unconscious right in front of you. so yea, good night.
Better to love and to lose, than to never love at all? I rather not have love if I were to be left, scarred for life. Till death do us part? For better or worse? A bull load of crap for now.
Thursday, December 23, 2004
*1000 apologies*
sorry for not updating recently. been nothing short of busy, busy and busy. spending time with friends etc. and tomorrow's christmas eve, gonna have a feast over at Qin yu's house too. and umm.. staying overnight. Perhaps xmas's the time i can chill and relax. i shall now post up a inspirational story.
The donkey in the well
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.Finally he decided since the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. So, the farmer invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed shovels, and began to shovel dirt into the well.
All the other farm animals were very upset about this, because the donkey was their friend. But they discovered there was nothing they could do to help him. At first, when the donkey realized what was happening, he cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well, and was astonished at what he saw.
With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off, and take a step up on the dirt as it piled up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well, and trotted off!
MORAL: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. But each trouble can be a stepping stone. What happens to you isn't nearly as important as how you react to it. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not giving up!
Shake it off, and take a step up!
Setbacks have been part and parcel of my life. I choose to learn from it, and stay strong.
sorry for not updating recently. been nothing short of busy, busy and busy. spending time with friends etc. and tomorrow's christmas eve, gonna have a feast over at Qin yu's house too. and umm.. staying overnight. Perhaps xmas's the time i can chill and relax. i shall now post up a inspirational story.
The donkey in the well
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.Finally he decided since the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. So, the farmer invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed shovels, and began to shovel dirt into the well.
All the other farm animals were very upset about this, because the donkey was their friend. But they discovered there was nothing they could do to help him. At first, when the donkey realized what was happening, he cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well, and was astonished at what he saw.
With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off, and take a step up on the dirt as it piled up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well, and trotted off!
MORAL: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. But each trouble can be a stepping stone. What happens to you isn't nearly as important as how you react to it. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not giving up!
Shake it off, and take a step up!
Setbacks have been part and parcel of my life. I choose to learn from it, and stay strong.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
*man of few words*
There are many ways you can die.
You can hang yourself on a rope and drift off to eternal sleep.
You can dig a hole and ask your buddy to bury you alive.
You can make your way to the highest building and plummet to your death.
You can take a knife and stab yourself repeatedly.
You can feed yourself to the lions.
You can listen to my singing, taste my cooking or watch me dance ballet.
Please do not attempt any of the above. I'm just being corny.
There are many ways you can die.
You can hang yourself on a rope and drift off to eternal sleep.
You can dig a hole and ask your buddy to bury you alive.
You can make your way to the highest building and plummet to your death.
You can take a knife and stab yourself repeatedly.
You can feed yourself to the lions.
You can listen to my singing, taste my cooking or watch me dance ballet.
Please do not attempt any of the above. I'm just being corny.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
*a story to share*
Oh dear, i'm back here again, for the 2nd time in this day. Too free perhaps. Anyway, a pal was bugging me to update my blog. Since i've got nothing much to say, I shall post a story about true friends. Here goes.
True Friend
Horror gripped the heart of the World War 1 soldier as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle. Caught in a trench with continuous gunfire whizzing over his head, the soldier asked his lieutenant if he might go out into the "no man's land" between the trenches to bring his fallen comrade back.
"You can go," said the lieutenant, "but i don't think it will be worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your life away." The lieutenant's advice didn't matter, and the soldier went anyway. Miraculously he managed to reach his friend, hoist him onto his shoulder and bring him back to their company's trench. As the two of them tumbled in together to the bottom of the trench, the officer checked the wounded soldier, and then looked kindly at his friend.
"I told you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. "Your friend is dead and you are mortally wounded." "It was worth it, though, sir," said the soldier. "What do you mean; worth it?" responded the Lieutenant. "Your friend is dead" "YES, Sir" the private answered. "But it was worth it because when i got to him, he was still alive and i had the satisfaction of hearing him say, "JIM........, I KNEW YOU'D COME."
Many times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or not, really depends on how u look at it. Take up all your courage and do something your heart tells you to do so that you may not regret not doing it later in your life.."May each and every one of you be blessed with the company of TRUE FRIENDS." "A true friend is one who walks in, when the rest of the world walks out." War doesn't determine who's right. War only determines who's left.
I do have my fair share of friends. To my friends out there, i thank you for being my friend.
Oh dear, i'm back here again, for the 2nd time in this day. Too free perhaps. Anyway, a pal was bugging me to update my blog. Since i've got nothing much to say, I shall post a story about true friends. Here goes.
True Friend
Horror gripped the heart of the World War 1 soldier as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle. Caught in a trench with continuous gunfire whizzing over his head, the soldier asked his lieutenant if he might go out into the "no man's land" between the trenches to bring his fallen comrade back.
"You can go," said the lieutenant, "but i don't think it will be worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your life away." The lieutenant's advice didn't matter, and the soldier went anyway. Miraculously he managed to reach his friend, hoist him onto his shoulder and bring him back to their company's trench. As the two of them tumbled in together to the bottom of the trench, the officer checked the wounded soldier, and then looked kindly at his friend.
"I told you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. "Your friend is dead and you are mortally wounded." "It was worth it, though, sir," said the soldier. "What do you mean; worth it?" responded the Lieutenant. "Your friend is dead" "YES, Sir" the private answered. "But it was worth it because when i got to him, he was still alive and i had the satisfaction of hearing him say, "JIM........, I KNEW YOU'D COME."
Many times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or not, really depends on how u look at it. Take up all your courage and do something your heart tells you to do so that you may not regret not doing it later in your life.."May each and every one of you be blessed with the company of TRUE FRIENDS." "A true friend is one who walks in, when the rest of the world walks out." War doesn't determine who's right. War only determines who's left.
I do have my fair share of friends. To my friends out there, i thank you for being my friend.
*healthy lifestyle*
Boohoo! I did it. yeap, i went to jog 10 rounds at a neighbourhood park. If im not wrong, this is my very first time I ran on my own accord. Normally, its either my friends asked me out for jogging, or like in the past, the coach "forced" us to run. It's a great feeling by the way.
I have some friends who smokes.. and sometimes i wonder, what's the thing with smoking? how does it helps you? Of cause, no one would smoke just for the sake of smoking, and i believe most ppl are mature enough not to smoke just because to look cool. Well, i guess its a way to destress for them.
The thing is, everybody has stress, and that everybody has to relax and destress at times. we cant possibly just let this stress condemn us to a lifetime of depression rights? After all, life is short, who doesnt want to live in happiness?
I've found many ways to destress. I can listen to some rock music and get some life back into myself. I can play soccer and be happy. I can simply shout out loud. I can pour my feelings out into tis blog of mine. I can call my friends out for a chat. And I can jog. So why smoke when there are so many other ways available? I can only advise you not to smoke, but the decision ish ultimately yours.
It's kinda late to realise that jogging's really enjoyable. But better to be late than never ya? I'll never smoke in my entire life, and by doing so, i'll never know what does "feeling high" is all about. It doesnt matter. Jogging makes me high, the fresh air, everything, it's all good. Maybe you may find me stupid, but seriously, you guys should give jogging a shot.
Alright, i should stop blabbering about my jogging. Time's up! Great, i've got pizza later by the way =)
Love can't be forced. Can't be rushed either.
Boohoo! I did it. yeap, i went to jog 10 rounds at a neighbourhood park. If im not wrong, this is my very first time I ran on my own accord. Normally, its either my friends asked me out for jogging, or like in the past, the coach "forced" us to run. It's a great feeling by the way.
I have some friends who smokes.. and sometimes i wonder, what's the thing with smoking? how does it helps you? Of cause, no one would smoke just for the sake of smoking, and i believe most ppl are mature enough not to smoke just because to look cool. Well, i guess its a way to destress for them.
The thing is, everybody has stress, and that everybody has to relax and destress at times. we cant possibly just let this stress condemn us to a lifetime of depression rights? After all, life is short, who doesnt want to live in happiness?
I've found many ways to destress. I can listen to some rock music and get some life back into myself. I can play soccer and be happy. I can simply shout out loud. I can pour my feelings out into tis blog of mine. I can call my friends out for a chat. And I can jog. So why smoke when there are so many other ways available? I can only advise you not to smoke, but the decision ish ultimately yours.
It's kinda late to realise that jogging's really enjoyable. But better to be late than never ya? I'll never smoke in my entire life, and by doing so, i'll never know what does "feeling high" is all about. It doesnt matter. Jogging makes me high, the fresh air, everything, it's all good. Maybe you may find me stupid, but seriously, you guys should give jogging a shot.
Alright, i should stop blabbering about my jogging. Time's up! Great, i've got pizza later by the way =)
Love can't be forced. Can't be rushed either.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
*breathless*
*pant*. now, dont dink dirty. Had a soccer match early on in the morning today. Gawd was it terrible for me.. sigh, must have put up loads of kilograms that I find it so tough to run around like i used to previously. I was so freaking tired after such a short time.. argh!! I have the mental power, the desire to win the ball, to score a goal, to pass accurately, but its just thoughts, i didnt have the physical capabilities to pull it off.
And we lost, i guess by 2 goals. I failed to last thruout the match, im really misfit! So yeah, i guess its back to my strict exercise plan. Push ups, squats and sit ups. To intensify it, i'm gonna throw in some jogging as well. Looking for jogging partner! anyone?
And maybe its just another case of all talk and no action.. but i'm kinda serious tis time round(i was serious too last time, so whatever man). I can do it, yes i will! (dere am i, motivating myself)
Life's indeed a roller coaster. full of ups and downs. yesterday was great, today was simply crap. Ahh.. i shall stop whining right now and get to sleep. good afternoon all. =(
Sadness allows us to fully appreciate Happiness. Boredom allows us to fully appreciate Excitement. Being HeartBroken allow us to fully appreciate Love. If there wasn't for downs, we wouldn't be able to appreciate ups.
When you feel that things are going against you, do remember that the aeroplane has to take off against the wind.
*pant*. now, dont dink dirty. Had a soccer match early on in the morning today. Gawd was it terrible for me.. sigh, must have put up loads of kilograms that I find it so tough to run around like i used to previously. I was so freaking tired after such a short time.. argh!! I have the mental power, the desire to win the ball, to score a goal, to pass accurately, but its just thoughts, i didnt have the physical capabilities to pull it off.
And we lost, i guess by 2 goals. I failed to last thruout the match, im really misfit! So yeah, i guess its back to my strict exercise plan. Push ups, squats and sit ups. To intensify it, i'm gonna throw in some jogging as well. Looking for jogging partner! anyone?
And maybe its just another case of all talk and no action.. but i'm kinda serious tis time round(i was serious too last time, so whatever man). I can do it, yes i will! (dere am i, motivating myself)
Life's indeed a roller coaster. full of ups and downs. yesterday was great, today was simply crap. Ahh.. i shall stop whining right now and get to sleep. good afternoon all. =(
Sadness allows us to fully appreciate Happiness. Boredom allows us to fully appreciate Excitement. Being HeartBroken allow us to fully appreciate Love. If there wasn't for downs, we wouldn't be able to appreciate ups.
When you feel that things are going against you, do remember that the aeroplane has to take off against the wind.
Monday, December 13, 2004
Saturday, December 11, 2004
*forever lost*
Do you guys hate it whenever there's nothing to look forward to? And in which you live life just because it has to be lived, since you cant possibly kill yourself. Perhaps i should stop procrastinating and get my homework done.. but argh, I lack the freaking will power.
So here am i, whining and grumbling, and I can see myself whining and grumbling over and over again. It's like I have some super duper cool looking rifle, but there's simply nothing for me to aim at. Yeah, im like wandering around aimlessly. how tragic.
With greater hope come greater disappointment. Perhaps i should frame tis phrase and put it up on the wall and remind myself that constantly. I'm a dreamer, yes a dreamer that feels things will go in my way, and that everything will have a sweet ending. Apparently, life doesnt allow things to go in ur way all the time.
I do want to make things happen, but is it the right decision to act now? I guess not. I should just wait and wait and wait. Until fate decides to place the perfect opportunity for me. I don't know, i just need a good night rest i guess.
I bet you guys don't understand what the hell's going through my mind, i've failed to explain how i feel properly either. Whatever, here's a story.
All of us are entitled to a bank account when we were borned. The bank deposits 86400 dollars into the account during the start of the day. However, it doesnt allow cash balances, or bringing forward the money for usage the next day. At the end of the day, the bank takes away the money that's left unused.
Being humans as all of us are, we'll probably withdraw every single cent and use it happily right? So what is this bank account im talking about?
It is TIME. All of us are entitled to 86400 seconds everyday. If u fail to use your time wisely, time will just disappear into thin air. There's no turning back. Time just constantly moves on and doesnt wait for anyone.
Tell your loved ones you love them, do the things you always wanted to do and live life as tho there's no tomorrow. Time is valuable, and do cherish it.
So ya, maybe i should really find something to invest my time on. Oh yea, my story's half way done by the way. hopefully after a week or so, i can publish it. so yeaps , adios.
Where are you..
Do you guys hate it whenever there's nothing to look forward to? And in which you live life just because it has to be lived, since you cant possibly kill yourself. Perhaps i should stop procrastinating and get my homework done.. but argh, I lack the freaking will power.
So here am i, whining and grumbling, and I can see myself whining and grumbling over and over again. It's like I have some super duper cool looking rifle, but there's simply nothing for me to aim at. Yeah, im like wandering around aimlessly. how tragic.
With greater hope come greater disappointment. Perhaps i should frame tis phrase and put it up on the wall and remind myself that constantly. I'm a dreamer, yes a dreamer that feels things will go in my way, and that everything will have a sweet ending. Apparently, life doesnt allow things to go in ur way all the time.
I do want to make things happen, but is it the right decision to act now? I guess not. I should just wait and wait and wait. Until fate decides to place the perfect opportunity for me. I don't know, i just need a good night rest i guess.
I bet you guys don't understand what the hell's going through my mind, i've failed to explain how i feel properly either. Whatever, here's a story.
All of us are entitled to a bank account when we were borned. The bank deposits 86400 dollars into the account during the start of the day. However, it doesnt allow cash balances, or bringing forward the money for usage the next day. At the end of the day, the bank takes away the money that's left unused.
Being humans as all of us are, we'll probably withdraw every single cent and use it happily right? So what is this bank account im talking about?
It is TIME. All of us are entitled to 86400 seconds everyday. If u fail to use your time wisely, time will just disappear into thin air. There's no turning back. Time just constantly moves on and doesnt wait for anyone.
Tell your loved ones you love them, do the things you always wanted to do and live life as tho there's no tomorrow. Time is valuable, and do cherish it.
So ya, maybe i should really find something to invest my time on. Oh yea, my story's half way done by the way. hopefully after a week or so, i can publish it. so yeaps , adios.
Where are you..
Thursday, December 09, 2004
*that's what friends are for*
IT was great yesterday/early morning. Really enjoyed myself being with my pals. Indeed, i should hang out more often, than to stay behind closed doors and rot. It is only after good times that i realised holidays are passing real fast.
The bbq was alright. I didnt eat as much(key word) as most of the guys. Had a really small appetite yesterday. Wonder why? The butter flies prolly filled up my whole stomache. I was so jerky and nervous. I suck as a male. But it was worth it.. I don't mind losing everything just to have that talk.
Okae, girls, don scream. Yeah, we saw sylvester and maia together yesterday. Yup, over at east coast. Sly was taller than I actually thought(no sarcasm) and maia, well.. for a girl, pretty average. And man was she hot. Nah, I didnt drool as most of the guys did. Young wei drooled over Sly for some reasons or another btw. Maybe sly and maia are really an item? I will post a foto of them "pretty close" up once young wei sends me the pic.
I guess there's nothing much thats coming up.. so i'm pretty free. I'm up for dates, anyone? =x Nah, i reckon I'll be busying penning my story and get it done asap. Man, the feeling of running out of inspiration sucks. So till then, au revoir.
Being the game, I often turn depressed whenever I have to be force to show the "Game Over" sign. But it is up to you to insert new coins, for another try, another attempt, another shot at it.
IT was great yesterday/early morning. Really enjoyed myself being with my pals. Indeed, i should hang out more often, than to stay behind closed doors and rot. It is only after good times that i realised holidays are passing real fast.
The bbq was alright. I didnt eat as much(key word) as most of the guys. Had a really small appetite yesterday. Wonder why? The butter flies prolly filled up my whole stomache. I was so jerky and nervous. I suck as a male. But it was worth it.. I don't mind losing everything just to have that talk.
Okae, girls, don scream. Yeah, we saw sylvester and maia together yesterday. Yup, over at east coast. Sly was taller than I actually thought(no sarcasm) and maia, well.. for a girl, pretty average. And man was she hot. Nah, I didnt drool as most of the guys did. Young wei drooled over Sly for some reasons or another btw. Maybe sly and maia are really an item? I will post a foto of them "pretty close" up once young wei sends me the pic.
I guess there's nothing much thats coming up.. so i'm pretty free. I'm up for dates, anyone? =x Nah, i reckon I'll be busying penning my story and get it done asap. Man, the feeling of running out of inspiration sucks. So till then, au revoir.
Being the game, I often turn depressed whenever I have to be force to show the "Game Over" sign. But it is up to you to insert new coins, for another try, another attempt, another shot at it.
Monday, December 06, 2004
EDIT: I can't post the whole story up regularly for now. I guess there are many editing to do. So it'll be up when its complete. Stay tune =)
*plain bored!*
I've read loads of love stories today. So i was like wondering, maybe i can try penning one myself? Haha, and so i did. and here's a sentence that gives a brief outlook of what my story will be about. "two lovers. two thieves. and they stole each other's hearts"
I've stolen your heart
Introduction
"Come back you good-for-nothing!" the shop auntie screamed as I robbed her of her hand bag from behind. I laughed at her folly. Would I even go back to her knowing that I'll be so darn screwed by the authorities?
I ran into a pretty dark corner. It's been quite a while since I ran such a long distance. Nevertheless, I praised myself for making this such a success. The hand bag was really heavy, probably loaded with cash and jewellery. I pried open the loot with a great sense of triumph.
I am Soichiro Arima. You've guessed it, I'm a thief , a liar, an occasional murderer and an outrageous braggart whenever the situation calls for it. I do not care if I'm devoid of any hint of honour. For I love the thrills, the pleasure I get whenever adrenaline surges through my blood, and most of all, the money I get to splurge on what I desired.
Perhaps you are wondering, what led me into this line of profession? Would any sane man do such stuff for a living? Wouldn't it be wiser if I were to hide behind some computer and do my work? It all started when I was a merely a kid
"Here take this shit money!" my damned father yelled when he threw the dirty coins at my mother. She was tugging his leg, refusing to let go, for he'll be leaving with his mistress and kids to some other place. He had come to our tiny house and took all of my mother's money. He left me battered when I gave my weak resistance.
'Not until you return me all my money!' she screamed, yet weeping at the same time. There I was, recovering from the push, and watching all this happening. All this action.. which had such a great impact of me that it became recurring nightmares. I hate him, the man who left my mother to fend for herself when she's pregnant with me. Why must you come back to make things so miserable for my mother and I?
Can you imagine what she went through? She had to undergo such a great heart break and losing all her hard earned money to this bastard whom I will never address as my father till the very end of time.
She tried her best to be as strong as she can be. She failed to take the set back well. The very morning I woke up, I found her lying dead in her room, with both of her wrists slitted. She left a note on the table, "I am sorry."
She left me all alone. I was only seven then. I had no other relatives. The person I was closest to, was my mum. And there she went, into the heavens, and get to savour every single minute of good life up there.
But does the word "sorry" act as food whenever I'm hungry? Or does it quench my thirst? Does it act as a companion whenever I'm lonely? Most of all, do you think "sorry" can make up for what I went through for my child hood?
Other kids get to go to school, get some handy dandy degree and settle down with a promising future. What about me? I have got no idea whether is it my fortune or my misfortune when a gang of thieves took me in..
To be continued.. tomorrow i hope.
*plain bored!*
I've read loads of love stories today. So i was like wondering, maybe i can try penning one myself? Haha, and so i did. and here's a sentence that gives a brief outlook of what my story will be about. "two lovers. two thieves. and they stole each other's hearts"
I've stolen your heart
Introduction
"Come back you good-for-nothing!" the shop auntie screamed as I robbed her of her hand bag from behind. I laughed at her folly. Would I even go back to her knowing that I'll be so darn screwed by the authorities?
I ran into a pretty dark corner. It's been quite a while since I ran such a long distance. Nevertheless, I praised myself for making this such a success. The hand bag was really heavy, probably loaded with cash and jewellery. I pried open the loot with a great sense of triumph.
I am Soichiro Arima. You've guessed it, I'm a thief , a liar, an occasional murderer and an outrageous braggart whenever the situation calls for it. I do not care if I'm devoid of any hint of honour. For I love the thrills, the pleasure I get whenever adrenaline surges through my blood, and most of all, the money I get to splurge on what I desired.
Perhaps you are wondering, what led me into this line of profession? Would any sane man do such stuff for a living? Wouldn't it be wiser if I were to hide behind some computer and do my work? It all started when I was a merely a kid
"Here take this shit money!" my damned father yelled when he threw the dirty coins at my mother. She was tugging his leg, refusing to let go, for he'll be leaving with his mistress and kids to some other place. He had come to our tiny house and took all of my mother's money. He left me battered when I gave my weak resistance.
'Not until you return me all my money!' she screamed, yet weeping at the same time. There I was, recovering from the push, and watching all this happening. All this action.. which had such a great impact of me that it became recurring nightmares. I hate him, the man who left my mother to fend for herself when she's pregnant with me. Why must you come back to make things so miserable for my mother and I?
Can you imagine what she went through? She had to undergo such a great heart break and losing all her hard earned money to this bastard whom I will never address as my father till the very end of time.
She tried her best to be as strong as she can be. She failed to take the set back well. The very morning I woke up, I found her lying dead in her room, with both of her wrists slitted. She left a note on the table, "I am sorry."
She left me all alone. I was only seven then. I had no other relatives. The person I was closest to, was my mum. And there she went, into the heavens, and get to savour every single minute of good life up there.
But does the word "sorry" act as food whenever I'm hungry? Or does it quench my thirst? Does it act as a companion whenever I'm lonely? Most of all, do you think "sorry" can make up for what I went through for my child hood?
Other kids get to go to school, get some handy dandy degree and settle down with a promising future. What about me? I have got no idea whether is it my fortune or my misfortune when a gang of thieves took me in..
To be continued.. tomorrow i hope.
Sunday, December 05, 2004
*negatively positive*
Today's a strange day. Life is indeed full of ups and downs. Well for today, I woke up kinda late(as compared to the recent days) then made my way to tampines mall to get some house warming present for Warren. OH yea, his house ish fabulous. So "chalet-like" cept that, its his home. Wow man, everything is so wonderfully designed. Wonder who is the architect?
so yeap, we made our way to his house. Played cards and stuff. Freak, i lost all my money, over 3 bucks. Just my luck man.. yea so thats a down for me. Well, i learnt more about myself today.. i'm a pretty bad loser actually. Yes i admit. My joyous mood completely went down hill. Yeah, i became darn pissed when i kept losing. Or close to winning for that matter. Anyways, I'm sorry guys, for choosing soccer over basketball. Paul's here once in while, so yea, decided to play soccer with him.
I didnt exactly regret my decision. Life ish lyk this isnt it? Full of crossroads, and you get to choose what path you can take. So yeap, it was an up for me. I suppose i played pretty well, i throughly enjoyed kicking around the ball.
And it ended eventually. And my chicken rice at home toppled over when i attempted to pour the chilli sauce in. Oh man, it was the first time i actually groaned pretty badly over it. Not because i hab to clear it, but because the chicken rice smelled so darn nice! A down i suppose. oh yea, i settled for some cup noodles in e end.
Time really flies, my ncc camp's over, its already coming to the end of year 2004.(soon it'll be christmas! i never spend any xmas with any girl before. sad. or my birthday ) So many things happened.. I think I'll take tonight to remember the highlights of this year. And perhaps I'll do a post on my year 2004 soon. Hope you guys had a great year.
Often people regret don't they? Things they done and stuff. I'm no exception. But you just have to live with it. I seriously hope, when the very last day of my life ends, when im on my death bed, I can say.. "I've done my best. I have no regrets at all." (no prize for guessing who said that too)
I've been blasting this song lately. An oldie i guess. But nevertheless nice. And wonderful lyrics.
Bon Jovi's Always
This romeo is bleeding, but you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up
It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up
Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well,I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me
Yeah I, will love you, baby
Always and i'll be there
Forever and a day, always
I'll be there, till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme
I know when i die you'll be on my mind
and I'll love you, always
Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh
Some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers thru your hair
Touch your lips, to hold you near,
When you say your prayers,
try to understand I've made mistakes,
I'm just a man
When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words
You've been needing to hear,
I'll wish I was him '
Cause these words are mine,
to say to you 'Til the end of time
If you told me to cry for you, I could
If you told me to die for you, I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price i won't pay
To say these words to you
Well, there ain't no luck in these loaded dice
But baby, if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams, and our old lives,
We'll find a place, where the sun still shines
ooh.. touching =)
Today's a strange day. Life is indeed full of ups and downs. Well for today, I woke up kinda late(as compared to the recent days) then made my way to tampines mall to get some house warming present for Warren. OH yea, his house ish fabulous. So "chalet-like" cept that, its his home. Wow man, everything is so wonderfully designed. Wonder who is the architect?
so yeap, we made our way to his house. Played cards and stuff. Freak, i lost all my money, over 3 bucks. Just my luck man.. yea so thats a down for me. Well, i learnt more about myself today.. i'm a pretty bad loser actually. Yes i admit. My joyous mood completely went down hill. Yeah, i became darn pissed when i kept losing. Or close to winning for that matter. Anyways, I'm sorry guys, for choosing soccer over basketball. Paul's here once in while, so yea, decided to play soccer with him.
I didnt exactly regret my decision. Life ish lyk this isnt it? Full of crossroads, and you get to choose what path you can take. So yeap, it was an up for me. I suppose i played pretty well, i throughly enjoyed kicking around the ball.
And it ended eventually. And my chicken rice at home toppled over when i attempted to pour the chilli sauce in. Oh man, it was the first time i actually groaned pretty badly over it. Not because i hab to clear it, but because the chicken rice smelled so darn nice! A down i suppose. oh yea, i settled for some cup noodles in e end.
Time really flies, my ncc camp's over, its already coming to the end of year 2004.(soon it'll be christmas! i never spend any xmas with any girl before. sad. or my birthday ) So many things happened.. I think I'll take tonight to remember the highlights of this year. And perhaps I'll do a post on my year 2004 soon. Hope you guys had a great year.
Often people regret don't they? Things they done and stuff. I'm no exception. But you just have to live with it. I seriously hope, when the very last day of my life ends, when im on my death bed, I can say.. "I've done my best. I have no regrets at all." (no prize for guessing who said that too)
I've been blasting this song lately. An oldie i guess. But nevertheless nice. And wonderful lyrics.
Bon Jovi's Always
This romeo is bleeding, but you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up
It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up
Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well,I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me
Yeah I, will love you, baby
Always and i'll be there
Forever and a day, always
I'll be there, till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme
I know when i die you'll be on my mind
and I'll love you, always
Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh
Some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers thru your hair
Touch your lips, to hold you near,
When you say your prayers,
try to understand I've made mistakes,
I'm just a man
When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words
You've been needing to hear,
I'll wish I was him '
Cause these words are mine,
to say to you 'Til the end of time
If you told me to cry for you, I could
If you told me to die for you, I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price i won't pay
To say these words to you
Well, there ain't no luck in these loaded dice
But baby, if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams, and our old lives,
We'll find a place, where the sun still shines
ooh.. touching =)
Saturday, December 04, 2004
*when a door closes, a new one opens*
Boo! It's over! It's over! I've passed out of my Senior Specialist's Course! I've managed to achieve what i set out to achieve when i was Secondary one. All the hardwork i put in paid off, by the means of my Staff Sergeant rank and a lang yard ( red white string). My role as cadet ends here. And with that, i've got myself another role to play.
with greater power comes greater responsibilities(ahh.. spidey man), now i guess it's time to be some good role model and pass down my knowledge to the juniors. (i can only say i'll try). so yup.. with confidence.
I had a struggle 2 days back. MY confidence level was really low. Thankfully, i got inspired in ways i didnt know i would. Haha, there was this particular instance, i looked down at my boots a few minutes before my turn to deliver my lesson, then i realised how come it was so well polished. Yeah, it was my dad who polished for me.. ( i noe how to do it myself! =x juz tt.. i was in a rush) . And my clothes etc. So yup, i'm gonna do well for him. And indeed! I managed to pull it off pretty well. of cause there are several other factors that inspired me..
Ahh.. i'm a happy man. My worries are all gone. Now it's time to get my private life back on track. Perhaps i should just try. Or should i not? So should i or should i not?
Oh cupid~! It's time to be cruel. Time to fire your love arrow through some hearts!
Boo! It's over! It's over! I've passed out of my Senior Specialist's Course! I've managed to achieve what i set out to achieve when i was Secondary one. All the hardwork i put in paid off, by the means of my Staff Sergeant rank and a lang yard ( red white string). My role as cadet ends here. And with that, i've got myself another role to play.
with greater power comes greater responsibilities(ahh.. spidey man), now i guess it's time to be some good role model and pass down my knowledge to the juniors. (i can only say i'll try). so yup.. with confidence.
I had a struggle 2 days back. MY confidence level was really low. Thankfully, i got inspired in ways i didnt know i would. Haha, there was this particular instance, i looked down at my boots a few minutes before my turn to deliver my lesson, then i realised how come it was so well polished. Yeah, it was my dad who polished for me.. ( i noe how to do it myself! =x juz tt.. i was in a rush) . And my clothes etc. So yup, i'm gonna do well for him. And indeed! I managed to pull it off pretty well. of cause there are several other factors that inspired me..
Ahh.. i'm a happy man. My worries are all gone. Now it's time to get my private life back on track. Perhaps i should just try. Or should i not? So should i or should i not?
Oh cupid~! It's time to be cruel. Time to fire your love arrow through some hearts!
Thursday, December 02, 2004
*saaaaaave me*
Argh.. i feel so sick right now. And thats only after one day of the camp. I wonder how am i gonna survive next 2 days. Something is so darn wrong.. my eyes juz find it hard to focus.. maybe its tired. Or maybe i'm gonna die. I dont know. And its causing me an headache. Maybe i should get contacts soon. Ahh.. save me!
I stammered like some guy hu's having fits. I've got no confidence right now. I'm terribly shaken by the embarassment. What i need now is some encouragemnet.. but i dont think i can find it anywhere.. so yup, the show's on me.. to deliver.
Maan.. i better go work on my mutuals. Wish me the bestest best luck.
Only Love
2am and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me
But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough If we learn to trust
But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'll give my dreams just one more chance
To let this be our last goodbye
But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
That's something only love can do
Argh.. i feel so sick right now. And thats only after one day of the camp. I wonder how am i gonna survive next 2 days. Something is so darn wrong.. my eyes juz find it hard to focus.. maybe its tired. Or maybe i'm gonna die. I dont know. And its causing me an headache. Maybe i should get contacts soon. Ahh.. save me!
I stammered like some guy hu's having fits. I've got no confidence right now. I'm terribly shaken by the embarassment. What i need now is some encouragemnet.. but i dont think i can find it anywhere.. so yup, the show's on me.. to deliver.
Maan.. i better go work on my mutuals. Wish me the bestest best luck.
Only Love
2am and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me
But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough If we learn to trust
But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'll give my dreams just one more chance
To let this be our last goodbye
But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
That's something only love can do
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
*sparklingly new life*
Slept at a time in which Dracula would be proud of you? Woke up darn early all thanks to the seemingly louder-than-usual alarm clock? Then, sub conciously evading air molecules to get to the bath room? Started looking at the mirror and wondering who's the freak in the mirror? Got yourself messily dressed and sat down at some table sipping some hot liquid? The making your way to the front door, waved a good bye and smiled weakly at ur parents? And finally carving ur way to a oh-so-beautiful day.
That was a typical day for me. Whenever i had cca, school or whatever thats boring. and i believe most people (read : lazy people) wld be like that. Ive seen those really diligent ppl, sleep early, wake up early kind. To them i guess. morning's the best part of a day. Alright Alright.. so i was thinking earlier on today, wen i was bathing, how can i actually make myself happier?
Now that i'm single, and not in love, the vibrant energy seems to have disappeared. After all.. there's zero percent i'll be "bumping into her". So yeah, i must find an alternative way. and that lies in compliments or praises!!
what do i mean? Well, think about it. Let's say early morning, your good buddy meets you up and praised u by saying.. "Hey dude! You look exceptionally handsome today!" (note: the word "exceptionally" plays a major role. try not including that word when u compliment your girlfriend. Good luck.) You'll prolly feel real good, and face the day with a whole new attitude ya? A thing to add, it doesnt have to be necessarily associated with looks. Compliments on one's great character traits works wonders too.
Ever after noticing some popular guy or some flirt(doesnt really apply to gals), you end up wondering, what sets us apart from them? The answer lies in their mouth. Not literally, but their way of talking. Usually, this breed of people are great with their tongues(again, not to be taken literally), as in they have a glib tongue. They can easily make girls swoon and making friends happy with their giving compliments. All in all, they are popular cause people feel comfortable and enjoyable being around them. (note: they make good salesman)
Nono.. im not asking you guys to be hypocrites and compliment people with fake sincerity just as to earn popularity. No matter how well u can act, people will see through you. But what can be achieved, is to be more giving by the means of compliments. Well for me, i'm not a good talker nor can i really compliment people. Perhaps im egoistic, sometimes, i just find it hard to compliment people. (maybe im a perfectionist, thinking that i can do better, i still cant really figure out..) Of course there are times, in which a guy/girl blow me off with an fresh new look. In my mind, I'll go "Wow, he/she looks hot today." but not any further than that. I wont really go up to them and say, you look great today. I do too sometimes, when i'm heads over heels and going ga-ga over some girl.
So yup, it all lies in how giving you're willing to be. Sometimes you can really bring a smile to simply anybody, by the means of a simple, sincere compliment. And the opposite can be achieved via mean criticisms. I dont wanna blabber about that. Its mean!
Went ncc today. Tomorrow there's Senior Specialist Course! Time to be staff sergeant! Can hardly wait. And i hope Nigel gets to go tomorrow too. *prays* So that's about it, a really long post i suppose. Cant help it >.<
ps: you may disagree with me. do drop a comment or two. would really appreciate it =)
So guys! go look at yourself into the mirror! "do what?" you ask. Go tell yourself how great you look today. And laugh about it and face the day with a brand new positive attitude! (even if you are botak. )
Slept at a time in which Dracula would be proud of you? Woke up darn early all thanks to the seemingly louder-than-usual alarm clock? Then, sub conciously evading air molecules to get to the bath room? Started looking at the mirror and wondering who's the freak in the mirror? Got yourself messily dressed and sat down at some table sipping some hot liquid? The making your way to the front door, waved a good bye and smiled weakly at ur parents? And finally carving ur way to a oh-so-beautiful day.
That was a typical day for me. Whenever i had cca, school or whatever thats boring. and i believe most people (read : lazy people) wld be like that. Ive seen those really diligent ppl, sleep early, wake up early kind. To them i guess. morning's the best part of a day. Alright Alright.. so i was thinking earlier on today, wen i was bathing, how can i actually make myself happier?
Now that i'm single, and not in love, the vibrant energy seems to have disappeared. After all.. there's zero percent i'll be "bumping into her". So yeah, i must find an alternative way. and that lies in compliments or praises!!
what do i mean? Well, think about it. Let's say early morning, your good buddy meets you up and praised u by saying.. "Hey dude! You look exceptionally handsome today!" (note: the word "exceptionally" plays a major role. try not including that word when u compliment your girlfriend. Good luck.) You'll prolly feel real good, and face the day with a whole new attitude ya? A thing to add, it doesnt have to be necessarily associated with looks. Compliments on one's great character traits works wonders too.
Ever after noticing some popular guy or some flirt(doesnt really apply to gals), you end up wondering, what sets us apart from them? The answer lies in their mouth. Not literally, but their way of talking. Usually, this breed of people are great with their tongues(again, not to be taken literally), as in they have a glib tongue. They can easily make girls swoon and making friends happy with their giving compliments. All in all, they are popular cause people feel comfortable and enjoyable being around them. (note: they make good salesman)
Nono.. im not asking you guys to be hypocrites and compliment people with fake sincerity just as to earn popularity. No matter how well u can act, people will see through you. But what can be achieved, is to be more giving by the means of compliments. Well for me, i'm not a good talker nor can i really compliment people. Perhaps im egoistic, sometimes, i just find it hard to compliment people. (maybe im a perfectionist, thinking that i can do better, i still cant really figure out..) Of course there are times, in which a guy/girl blow me off with an fresh new look. In my mind, I'll go "Wow, he/she looks hot today." but not any further than that. I wont really go up to them and say, you look great today. I do too sometimes, when i'm heads over heels and going ga-ga over some girl.
So yup, it all lies in how giving you're willing to be. Sometimes you can really bring a smile to simply anybody, by the means of a simple, sincere compliment. And the opposite can be achieved via mean criticisms. I dont wanna blabber about that. Its mean!
Went ncc today. Tomorrow there's Senior Specialist Course! Time to be staff sergeant! Can hardly wait. And i hope Nigel gets to go tomorrow too. *prays* So that's about it, a really long post i suppose. Cant help it >.<
ps: you may disagree with me. do drop a comment or two. would really appreciate it =)
So guys! go look at yourself into the mirror! "do what?" you ask. Go tell yourself how great you look today. And laugh about it and face the day with a brand new positive attitude! (even if you are botak. )
Friday, November 26, 2004
*delayed morning*
Good morning peeps! Well, yeah, its gonna be half past noon, shld be good afternoon instead. anyways, i've been like this all e time. Either I wake up very early(say 6am+ with the aid of alarm clocks) or i wake up exceptionally late (say 12 noon earliest with my biological clock). Strange eh? And I have no difficulty sleeping, i've got no idea why some of my friends find it hard to fall asleep. Normally, people find it tough to sleep when they are troubled ya? Yet on the contrary, the more troubled am i, the easier i find it to sleep. well, that's simply me.
Being the eldest, my dad was lecturing me when i juz woke up. It shucks you know, having someone lecturing you when you're like "Huh? What's going on? ". Anyways, he was saying why was it so hard for us to wake up earlier? Come to think of it, he has a point there. I mean, you can do loads of stuff in the morning. Say on saturday, when i have ncc, theres so much I can do in the six hours, and in which other normal days, I'll be just waking up. Cant help it but to sleep late ya? There's an element of pig in all of us. "the desire to sleep"
It's an cycle. After saying that sleeping was a waste of time, my dad went on to blabber on about how important money is. in actual fact, i'm thankful that he tries hard to instill in us the "not to waste money" attitude. He failed to a certain extent i guess. I really waste money at times. But i'm making efforts, to save up some cash. For future usage and my mom i guess.. So i'm gonna strive hard and let the determination to save up more cash, propel me to study harder. when skewl reopens that is. =x
I'm botak now! Or rather GI. Had to cut for the upcoming senior specialist course camp, and my bud qin yu cut his hair into GI for fun too. Anyways, it feels good having short hair. whats more? Seems like my worries are gone with my hair! It has given me a new perception towards life. Mebbe its because with my new hideous look (not as hideous with my hair), i won't stand a chance if i were to set my time out to woo girls. Alright, i guess its because I've learn to accept the current situation now.
Some things can never be rushed or forced i suppose.. especially in the area of romance and love.
I'm better off doing things that i enjoy doing, pursuing high levels in maplestory, play soccer and building up my fitness. instead to pine over lost love and stuff. I must learn how to take things slow! must learn must learn must learn must learn must learn.
Alright. this is the last paragraph. and like white on rice, i shall be into maplestory now. toodlez.
I tried my best to make you see. There's hope beyond the pain. If we give enough. If we learn to trust.
Good morning peeps! Well, yeah, its gonna be half past noon, shld be good afternoon instead. anyways, i've been like this all e time. Either I wake up very early(say 6am+ with the aid of alarm clocks) or i wake up exceptionally late (say 12 noon earliest with my biological clock). Strange eh? And I have no difficulty sleeping, i've got no idea why some of my friends find it hard to fall asleep. Normally, people find it tough to sleep when they are troubled ya? Yet on the contrary, the more troubled am i, the easier i find it to sleep. well, that's simply me.
Being the eldest, my dad was lecturing me when i juz woke up. It shucks you know, having someone lecturing you when you're like "Huh? What's going on? ". Anyways, he was saying why was it so hard for us to wake up earlier? Come to think of it, he has a point there. I mean, you can do loads of stuff in the morning. Say on saturday, when i have ncc, theres so much I can do in the six hours, and in which other normal days, I'll be just waking up. Cant help it but to sleep late ya? There's an element of pig in all of us. "the desire to sleep"
It's an cycle. After saying that sleeping was a waste of time, my dad went on to blabber on about how important money is. in actual fact, i'm thankful that he tries hard to instill in us the "not to waste money" attitude. He failed to a certain extent i guess. I really waste money at times. But i'm making efforts, to save up some cash. For future usage and my mom i guess.. So i'm gonna strive hard and let the determination to save up more cash, propel me to study harder. when skewl reopens that is. =x
I'm botak now! Or rather GI. Had to cut for the upcoming senior specialist course camp, and my bud qin yu cut his hair into GI for fun too. Anyways, it feels good having short hair. whats more? Seems like my worries are gone with my hair! It has given me a new perception towards life. Mebbe its because with my new hideous look (not as hideous with my hair), i won't stand a chance if i were to set my time out to woo girls. Alright, i guess its because I've learn to accept the current situation now.
Some things can never be rushed or forced i suppose.. especially in the area of romance and love.
I'm better off doing things that i enjoy doing, pursuing high levels in maplestory, play soccer and building up my fitness. instead to pine over lost love and stuff. I must learn how to take things slow! must learn must learn must learn must learn must learn.
Alright. this is the last paragraph. and like white on rice, i shall be into maplestory now. toodlez.
I tried my best to make you see. There's hope beyond the pain. If we give enough. If we learn to trust.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
*chocolatey collapse*
Alwights. im here with the truth. We gave up on the chocolate factory. We did the unexpected. We stepped down as chocolate packers! (or rather we quitted in simple terms) and that's just like after 8 days of work. Sigh, really pathetic huh?
Guess we arent mature enough to take hardships. (the job's easy actually! but its just really really boring). The final straw was when the merciless lady boss separated us from each other. (like a pair of lovebirds being separated, that kind of feeling). Reckon its because we cant possibly pack chocolate whole day without conversing. Alright alright, you may argue that i can stare at the computer playing maple story, fighting the same silly monsters in the hope of leveling up, yet I cant stay at the ware house, packing chocolates for some handy cash. Okay, i lose.
So after working for the last morning (we left at lunch break), decided to pay K box a visit. been ages since we sung, and since all of us aint really in the chirpy mood, we're better off venting out our frustrations via our throats ya?
Call me weak. Label me a faint hearted. Loathe me. But.. i believe in life, to be truly happy, one's better off without knowing the real truth. What do i mean? Ever heard of this sayings.. "curiosity kills the cat" and "ignorance is bliss"? They are both very true indeed.
For example, recently I heard over some radio, and tis DJ was interviewing this guy on whether would he rather know of his wife's affairs with another man or be kept in the dark forever. (take this man has a family and 2 kids). He said he rather not know. Why? Its simply beacause he wouldnt be able to take the truth. He'll prolly start to be paranoid and dislike his own kids, fearing that they might be other man's children. Or perhaps he dont wanna risk losing a family due to the plain cold truth. Yeah.. its sad but true, truth does hurt badly.
I'm in a dilemma right now too.. suppose all I can do now is wait.. and not rush into things by treading on thin ice. I'll explain more abt what i feel when I can fully grasp my thought notions. so yea stay tune =)
ps: i really thank you peeps for ur great and giving comments! i'll strive harder than ever!
Ever encounter this before..? Wanting to know the truth but deep down ur throat and followed by your heart, that you rather not know? But you went on to ask for the oh-so-important information, causing immense pain to yourself. One example.. ask your partner how intimate he/she was with their ex. Would you be really glad he/she told you the truth...?
Alwights. im here with the truth. We gave up on the chocolate factory. We did the unexpected. We stepped down as chocolate packers! (or rather we quitted in simple terms) and that's just like after 8 days of work. Sigh, really pathetic huh?
Guess we arent mature enough to take hardships. (the job's easy actually! but its just really really boring). The final straw was when the merciless lady boss separated us from each other. (like a pair of lovebirds being separated, that kind of feeling). Reckon its because we cant possibly pack chocolate whole day without conversing. Alright alright, you may argue that i can stare at the computer playing maple story, fighting the same silly monsters in the hope of leveling up, yet I cant stay at the ware house, packing chocolates for some handy cash. Okay, i lose.
So after working for the last morning (we left at lunch break), decided to pay K box a visit. been ages since we sung, and since all of us aint really in the chirpy mood, we're better off venting out our frustrations via our throats ya?
Call me weak. Label me a faint hearted. Loathe me. But.. i believe in life, to be truly happy, one's better off without knowing the real truth. What do i mean? Ever heard of this sayings.. "curiosity kills the cat" and "ignorance is bliss"? They are both very true indeed.
For example, recently I heard over some radio, and tis DJ was interviewing this guy on whether would he rather know of his wife's affairs with another man or be kept in the dark forever. (take this man has a family and 2 kids). He said he rather not know. Why? Its simply beacause he wouldnt be able to take the truth. He'll prolly start to be paranoid and dislike his own kids, fearing that they might be other man's children. Or perhaps he dont wanna risk losing a family due to the plain cold truth. Yeah.. its sad but true, truth does hurt badly.
I'm in a dilemma right now too.. suppose all I can do now is wait.. and not rush into things by treading on thin ice. I'll explain more abt what i feel when I can fully grasp my thought notions. so yea stay tune =)
ps: i really thank you peeps for ur great and giving comments! i'll strive harder than ever!
Ever encounter this before..? Wanting to know the truth but deep down ur throat and followed by your heart, that you rather not know? But you went on to ask for the oh-so-important information, causing immense pain to yourself. One example.. ask your partner how intimate he/she was with their ex. Would you be really glad he/she told you the truth...?
Saturday, November 20, 2004
*home sweet home*
Maann.. just woke up after sleeping seven hours straight. guess i was really tired after the recent chalet. i'm now suffering for not sleeping sufficiently, *sick*
Well the chalet was great i guess.. just realised how much i neglected my gooded friends during previous chalet outings. I only had designs on getting nearer to her(in a good way i mean, as in trying woo a girl) and totally didnt care about my friends.
How foolish was I. Thankfully, i realised i had many good buddies that could be part of my "ah pek gang" Well whats "ah pek gang" exactly? Its an idea ivan introduced me and i found it pretty meaningful. Well, i'm sure you've seen old people over at nearby coffee shops, drinking coffee and reminicising old times. (maybe i guess. i dont know hokkien very well. but be aware, that some may be tiko peks.)
So yea, i intend to keep contact with them for as long as possible, and hopefully, when all of us lose youth to the never stopping time, we can get back together and talk about the good old times. Remember me, guys =)
I got drunk. for the first time of my life. Got totally insane. Now, i won't say what exactly happen, what i did exactly. but i was really stupid. and now im rueing in embarrasment for what i have done. I guess that particular instance when I decided to booze, i was depressed.
"the magic of one's first love can never be forgotten". any truth in that? yes i reckon. just ask around, even some hardcore serial daters, who could ever forget their first love? I'm sure they'll remember, at least the name of their first love.
Yeah so for me, she was there, during the chalet. Perhaps not as much as before, but the attraction was still there. i mean, for me to her, as in im attracted to her. This moments of strong attraction... yes you call them "Chemistry" Don't get me wrong for saying that, i've got over her. I wanna be looking forward.
Ran out of insipiration of what to write. Still there is, many things in my head that i would love to pour out in this treasured blog of mine. My blog's great! Never complaining and always giving in to my demanding number of words. All right, the ink shall stop here.
Ever wonder why it's so hard to remain friends after breaking up? Unless its mutual, it'll be indeed hard to remain friends. Why? You may ask. After all, it's just being friends. Simply it's because you've been physically and mentally intimate before. Now tell me, would you really be interested what your ex have to say about his or her current squeeze? Or perhaps, listening to his or her glee in finding a better someone than you were?
Maann.. just woke up after sleeping seven hours straight. guess i was really tired after the recent chalet. i'm now suffering for not sleeping sufficiently, *sick*
Well the chalet was great i guess.. just realised how much i neglected my gooded friends during previous chalet outings. I only had designs on getting nearer to her(in a good way i mean, as in trying woo a girl) and totally didnt care about my friends.
How foolish was I. Thankfully, i realised i had many good buddies that could be part of my "ah pek gang" Well whats "ah pek gang" exactly? Its an idea ivan introduced me and i found it pretty meaningful. Well, i'm sure you've seen old people over at nearby coffee shops, drinking coffee and reminicising old times. (maybe i guess. i dont know hokkien very well. but be aware, that some may be tiko peks.)
So yea, i intend to keep contact with them for as long as possible, and hopefully, when all of us lose youth to the never stopping time, we can get back together and talk about the good old times. Remember me, guys =)
I got drunk. for the first time of my life. Got totally insane. Now, i won't say what exactly happen, what i did exactly. but i was really stupid. and now im rueing in embarrasment for what i have done. I guess that particular instance when I decided to booze, i was depressed.
"the magic of one's first love can never be forgotten". any truth in that? yes i reckon. just ask around, even some hardcore serial daters, who could ever forget their first love? I'm sure they'll remember, at least the name of their first love.
Yeah so for me, she was there, during the chalet. Perhaps not as much as before, but the attraction was still there. i mean, for me to her, as in im attracted to her. This moments of strong attraction... yes you call them "Chemistry" Don't get me wrong for saying that, i've got over her. I wanna be looking forward.
Ran out of insipiration of what to write. Still there is, many things in my head that i would love to pour out in this treasured blog of mine. My blog's great! Never complaining and always giving in to my demanding number of words. All right, the ink shall stop here.
Ever wonder why it's so hard to remain friends after breaking up? Unless its mutual, it'll be indeed hard to remain friends. Why? You may ask. After all, it's just being friends. Simply it's because you've been physically and mentally intimate before. Now tell me, would you really be interested what your ex have to say about his or her current squeeze? Or perhaps, listening to his or her glee in finding a better someone than you were?
Monday, November 15, 2004
*food for thought*
taking a short break from maple for now. gaming the entire day aint really good for your health ya? But on the other hand, tomorrow there's work, means no more gaming, so perhaps i should play? Nvm, whatever, it's me again. always so indecisive. (theres so many decisions to make within this week). But i guess i just wanna update my blog for now.
Just watched ren wo hao you. "the champions" in english. teen drama. it's been ages since i got myself totally hooked to a drama series, but i did so with "the champions" Its nice, serious. Loads of love triangles, good plot, beautiful people (jeanette aw... *slurps*), eveel people getting painfully tortured, and hopefully a perfect ending tomorrow.
Well, in the show, love seems to be really romantic. i believe this is the same for movies. Like wimbledon, titanic or other famous love shows. Love seems to be so perfect. (i forgot, turn left turn right was great too) Yet in actualy terms, love can be really painful as well.
Unfortunately, i had to learn what love exactly is the hard way. the painful way. i'm left broken hearted twice. So what on earth went wrong? what what what what? is it me or wad? yes i suppose its all my fault. but just one more chance? nope, i cant have it anymore. enough chances already. i'm given up upon. cause i don't deserved to be loved anymore. dang. game over.
just read someone's blog. was talking about whether true love exists. that brings me back to the debate of on screen relationships. does the "happily ever after" ending actually exists? maybe. but only those really fortunate people get to have it. ah well.. someone told me that i'm just fifteen, there's many more people you'll meet. yea perhaps, it's all growing up i guess.
some advice to broken hearts. don't , i repeat, don't get into another relationship with another person when you're just left broken hearted. cause you'll end up being broken hearted all over again. you've gotta get over your ex first. and don't be too desperate either. Girls hate desperate guys, but as for meeting desperate girls, you won't find them anywhere.
Girls are getting more and more mentally strong ya? and guys are getting more and more oversensitive and overreacting. If the trend continues being tis way, girls will own the world i tell you.
Whoa, long entry. Didn't know i had so much to grumble about. Guess.. it's back to maple story! au revoir~
taking a short break from maple for now. gaming the entire day aint really good for your health ya? But on the other hand, tomorrow there's work, means no more gaming, so perhaps i should play? Nvm, whatever, it's me again. always so indecisive. (theres so many decisions to make within this week). But i guess i just wanna update my blog for now.
Just watched ren wo hao you. "the champions" in english. teen drama. it's been ages since i got myself totally hooked to a drama series, but i did so with "the champions" Its nice, serious. Loads of love triangles, good plot, beautiful people (jeanette aw... *slurps*), eveel people getting painfully tortured, and hopefully a perfect ending tomorrow.
Well, in the show, love seems to be really romantic. i believe this is the same for movies. Like wimbledon, titanic or other famous love shows. Love seems to be so perfect. (i forgot, turn left turn right was great too) Yet in actualy terms, love can be really painful as well.
Unfortunately, i had to learn what love exactly is the hard way. the painful way. i'm left broken hearted twice. So what on earth went wrong? what what what what? is it me or wad? yes i suppose its all my fault. but just one more chance? nope, i cant have it anymore. enough chances already. i'm given up upon. cause i don't deserved to be loved anymore. dang. game over.
just read someone's blog. was talking about whether true love exists. that brings me back to the debate of on screen relationships. does the "happily ever after" ending actually exists? maybe. but only those really fortunate people get to have it. ah well.. someone told me that i'm just fifteen, there's many more people you'll meet. yea perhaps, it's all growing up i guess.
some advice to broken hearts. don't , i repeat, don't get into another relationship with another person when you're just left broken hearted. cause you'll end up being broken hearted all over again. you've gotta get over your ex first. and don't be too desperate either. Girls hate desperate guys, but as for meeting desperate girls, you won't find them anywhere.
Girls are getting more and more mentally strong ya? and guys are getting more and more oversensitive and overreacting. If the trend continues being tis way, girls will own the world i tell you.
Whoa, long entry. Didn't know i had so much to grumble about. Guess.. it's back to maple story! au revoir~
Monday, November 08, 2004
*the 1st day*
Just returned from work. The job.. was kinda boring. sigh, packing chocolates! for 60 days straight. man.. now i know how hard it is to earn money. and hopefully, yes hopefully I'll learn how to save money better.
But it aint totally rainy, at least the aunties there were really helpful. learnt the ropes pretty quickly. i repeat, they were really helpful. i suspect one of them has a crush on young wei. LoL.
thankfully young wei and qin yu was around, else i'll be bored stiff, alone. (but it was kewl too, punching work cards? or wadeva u call. to take note when u reported for work and when u leave)
The neighbourhood there, was really dead. compared to tampines that is. Everybody aint talking, aint smiling either. they were just walking around us, past us and behind us. you could see on their faces, they looked really sullen. and with the dull colors of the buildings, the whole neighbourhood really seemed dead. (the people there are mostly elderly seniors i noticed)
took bus 81 then switched to 39 to head home. well, now that im single, i really hate the sight of couples. i dozed off during the 81 journey. guess my head banged onto the window panel or smthing, then i just woke up. i guess human's normal reaction is to look around the bus and see what happens right? who knows? maybe some terrorist faction hijacked the bus, expelled the bus driver to the main road for good and threatening everybody's life? or maybe the bus stepped onto some time portal and sent back to the old ages in which dinosaurs reigned? or perhaps some dumb thief stealing the calculator by prying your bag open? ( i had POA lesson today.)
Anyways, none of that happened. just that a couple went up the bus and filled up the back corner of the bus. i was at the back too, the other corner that is. yea, so they did those couple stuff, the gal laying her head on the guy's shoulder etc. and romancing each other with sweet nothings. sigh. now that im single, its just feel kinda weird.
and they kissed. outrageous! its single deck and they made out there. well possibly, i didnt dare to look at them indulging in some heavy mouth activity outright. i just peeped via the corner of my eye. well its awkward isnt it? for the onlookers and those who are doing it. but i guess they had some real thick skin to pull it off. amazing young people.
back here. so yea, it kinda shucks to see couples around. holding hands, hugging each other or just enjoying each other's company. but heyyy, being single isnt that bad at all right? you get to have the freedom, and the time to pack chocolates. -_-"
that's all i sppose. time to play maple story. sigh, i want that elusive level 30 so badly.
I swear. by the moon and the stars in the skies. i'll be there. I swear. like the shadow that's by your side. I'll be there. For better or worse, till death do us part. I'll love you with every beat of my heart. I swear.
...that i'll work hard to pack chocolates.
Just returned from work. The job.. was kinda boring. sigh, packing chocolates! for 60 days straight. man.. now i know how hard it is to earn money. and hopefully, yes hopefully I'll learn how to save money better.
But it aint totally rainy, at least the aunties there were really helpful. learnt the ropes pretty quickly. i repeat, they were really helpful. i suspect one of them has a crush on young wei. LoL.
thankfully young wei and qin yu was around, else i'll be bored stiff, alone. (but it was kewl too, punching work cards? or wadeva u call. to take note when u reported for work and when u leave)
The neighbourhood there, was really dead. compared to tampines that is. Everybody aint talking, aint smiling either. they were just walking around us, past us and behind us. you could see on their faces, they looked really sullen. and with the dull colors of the buildings, the whole neighbourhood really seemed dead. (the people there are mostly elderly seniors i noticed)
took bus 81 then switched to 39 to head home. well, now that im single, i really hate the sight of couples. i dozed off during the 81 journey. guess my head banged onto the window panel or smthing, then i just woke up. i guess human's normal reaction is to look around the bus and see what happens right? who knows? maybe some terrorist faction hijacked the bus, expelled the bus driver to the main road for good and threatening everybody's life? or maybe the bus stepped onto some time portal and sent back to the old ages in which dinosaurs reigned? or perhaps some dumb thief stealing the calculator by prying your bag open? ( i had POA lesson today.)
Anyways, none of that happened. just that a couple went up the bus and filled up the back corner of the bus. i was at the back too, the other corner that is. yea, so they did those couple stuff, the gal laying her head on the guy's shoulder etc. and romancing each other with sweet nothings. sigh. now that im single, its just feel kinda weird.
and they kissed. outrageous! its single deck and they made out there. well possibly, i didnt dare to look at them indulging in some heavy mouth activity outright. i just peeped via the corner of my eye. well its awkward isnt it? for the onlookers and those who are doing it. but i guess they had some real thick skin to pull it off. amazing young people.
back here. so yea, it kinda shucks to see couples around. holding hands, hugging each other or just enjoying each other's company. but heyyy, being single isnt that bad at all right? you get to have the freedom, and the time to pack chocolates. -_-"
that's all i sppose. time to play maple story. sigh, i want that elusive level 30 so badly.
I swear. by the moon and the stars in the skies. i'll be there. I swear. like the shadow that's by your side. I'll be there. For better or worse, till death do us part. I'll love you with every beat of my heart. I swear.
...that i'll work hard to pack chocolates.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
*when the cold wind blow*
Its nighttime! 12 midnight. i dont know why but.. the nights seem to be really scary now. its the perfect moment for loneliness to feast on you. i'm human, like everybody else. blasting the song "i swear" right now, aint helping much, juz adding on to this lonely feel.
I miss her. yes i really do. but she's gone, definitely. thoughts of her are really flooding my mind, it's hard to stay focus and get over her. we used to be so close, now things just aint the same anymore. and will never be. and thats the part that bites the hardest.
when you think of something constantly, normally its brought into your dreams as well. been dreaming about her for several nights, and that makes up waking up painful. argh.. wish im at some beach right now, den i'll be able to scream my lungs out.
im gonna start work tomorrow. i hope it helps me to prevent my mind from wandering. and poa lesson tomorrow, guess time to roll up and drift off to sleep.
normally a break up is two lovers going separate ways. i dont wanna continue moving further from her. i really wish i could turn back and chase up with her. and start walking in the same direction again..
Its nighttime! 12 midnight. i dont know why but.. the nights seem to be really scary now. its the perfect moment for loneliness to feast on you. i'm human, like everybody else. blasting the song "i swear" right now, aint helping much, juz adding on to this lonely feel.
I miss her. yes i really do. but she's gone, definitely. thoughts of her are really flooding my mind, it's hard to stay focus and get over her. we used to be so close, now things just aint the same anymore. and will never be. and thats the part that bites the hardest.
when you think of something constantly, normally its brought into your dreams as well. been dreaming about her for several nights, and that makes up waking up painful. argh.. wish im at some beach right now, den i'll be able to scream my lungs out.
im gonna start work tomorrow. i hope it helps me to prevent my mind from wandering. and poa lesson tomorrow, guess time to roll up and drift off to sleep.
normally a break up is two lovers going separate ways. i dont wanna continue moving further from her. i really wish i could turn back and chase up with her. and start walking in the same direction again..
Friday, November 05, 2004
*early birds*
So does the early birds get their fresh supply of worms, or are you that fresh supply of worms for the early birds? either way, it isnt good. I dread the sight of worms and the notion of being eaten up isnt.. very nice. (ah, wadever, what a stupid way to start an extremely early entry.)
Alwights, so what plans are in store for me today? hrmm... currently im gearing up for soccer training. i dont really look forward to the turn out, for the estimated people going isnt many. But just hopefully there'll be at least 10 people. then we can play 5 v 5 on the court.
Looking at the jersey that was only recently issued to us, i'm the current number fifteen. well i chose fifteen because of a few reasons. well firstly, its 2 digits! and the price ish the same if u choose to print only 1 digit behind. 2 brains are better than one isnt it? so naturally, 2 digits are better than one. secondly, 15 isnt any famous number. unlike 7, which is hugely worn by famous players. so yea, opponents wont be that cautious towards you. that makes dribbling easier. and lastly, its because it signifies the start of a joyous relationship. and it'll serve as a reminder for now, for this past relationship. alwight, i should stop reminicising.
I'm going for a job interview later on. hope everything goes well. nothing professional. just packing chocolates in a factory. hahas, hope i can gobble up a chocolate or two. but one thing i'm sure of, it's that i'll prolly hate chocolates to the very core. in which the sheer smell of it makes me nauseous. just my assumption, maybe i'll like chocs more instead. and i hope i get the job.
alwight, my dad's nagging again. he always say tis, "why wake up so early when u dilly dally and end up getting late?". riiggghhhhttt. gotta go, adios.
You know.. sometimes no matter how hard you try, you just cant seem to get her off your mind. this kind of.. "addiction" maybe, really.. makes you down at times. ah well, i just gotta remind myself that tis is part of the process. the process of getting over someone. aint easy, definitely.
So does the early birds get their fresh supply of worms, or are you that fresh supply of worms for the early birds? either way, it isnt good. I dread the sight of worms and the notion of being eaten up isnt.. very nice. (ah, wadever, what a stupid way to start an extremely early entry.)
Alwights, so what plans are in store for me today? hrmm... currently im gearing up for soccer training. i dont really look forward to the turn out, for the estimated people going isnt many. But just hopefully there'll be at least 10 people. then we can play 5 v 5 on the court.
Looking at the jersey that was only recently issued to us, i'm the current number fifteen. well i chose fifteen because of a few reasons. well firstly, its 2 digits! and the price ish the same if u choose to print only 1 digit behind. 2 brains are better than one isnt it? so naturally, 2 digits are better than one. secondly, 15 isnt any famous number. unlike 7, which is hugely worn by famous players. so yea, opponents wont be that cautious towards you. that makes dribbling easier. and lastly, its because it signifies the start of a joyous relationship. and it'll serve as a reminder for now, for this past relationship. alwight, i should stop reminicising.
I'm going for a job interview later on. hope everything goes well. nothing professional. just packing chocolates in a factory. hahas, hope i can gobble up a chocolate or two. but one thing i'm sure of, it's that i'll prolly hate chocolates to the very core. in which the sheer smell of it makes me nauseous. just my assumption, maybe i'll like chocs more instead. and i hope i get the job.
alwight, my dad's nagging again. he always say tis, "why wake up so early when u dilly dally and end up getting late?". riiggghhhhttt. gotta go, adios.
You know.. sometimes no matter how hard you try, you just cant seem to get her off your mind. this kind of.. "addiction" maybe, really.. makes you down at times. ah well, i just gotta remind myself that tis is part of the process. the process of getting over someone. aint easy, definitely.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
*dull dull morning*
Yawn.. what a way to spend a morning. waking up early just to start an uphill struggle against dozing off during detention. But it aint that bad, at least i managed to complete reading the novel that i had my hands on. otherwise, i'll might just still be in dreamland, and starting the day only now.
well, i read two books today. during detention that is. Yeap one of them's the novel and another ish the chicken soup for the romantic soul. both of them kinda contradict, and that left me dazed and confused.
anyways, i shall give a brief intro(*SPOILER ALERT*) on this certain chemistry book that i just read. it's about this guy, Tom, who has a steady relationship of 5 years with this ger named Sara. Tom, apparently, is a ghoster. yea, he gathers information and writes autobiography for people. people who are famous. so this person, George, is really pretty and a famous actress in some soap opera. Bla bla, and tom realised he couldnt control the significant surge in testerone level and did the unimaginable with George. yea, you can call it "having an affair"
So yup, u guessed it. Sara found out and dang, that's it, she chased him out and that signalled the end of their long, yet taken for granted relationship. George dumped him as well, realizing things will never gonna work out btw them. haha shucks ya? Tom has nothing left.
then tom realised how much sara meant to him. how important she is in his life. a tragic example of not knowing what you have till its gone ya? Sad, very sad indeed. and he tried ways, many creative ways i should call them, to win her back. (kinda similar to me over here, mebbe not as creative or special, whatever.) But he fell flat on his face. (same. sad isnt it?)
two years later, tis Tom guy thought he gotten over her. he then shockingly found out that he didnt when Sara appeared, much more prettier than ever, in some mutual friend's party. so they talked, for the 1st time in 2 years, and almost made up later. but the girl didnt want. to her, it'll never be possible for the trust element will never ever be recovered.
and that marks the end of this brief(or issit?) introduction. just realised its kinda same for me. just that i din cheat on her. there's sho many other things u can do to make people lose trust in you. i better not state them out, in case some of you don't believe me and execute dem out.
I learnt something, it's extremely hard to be back together after breaking up. sad but true. ah well, 2 years won't be that long right? to move on..? (speaking of which, i'm officially a fanatic of novels)
True love. what on earth is it? How does it feel like? Will i ever experience it? or i mean, will i ever get to have it for rest of my life? I can only ponder, imagine or dream for now i guess.
Yawn.. what a way to spend a morning. waking up early just to start an uphill struggle against dozing off during detention. But it aint that bad, at least i managed to complete reading the novel that i had my hands on. otherwise, i'll might just still be in dreamland, and starting the day only now.
well, i read two books today. during detention that is. Yeap one of them's the novel and another ish the chicken soup for the romantic soul. both of them kinda contradict, and that left me dazed and confused.
anyways, i shall give a brief intro(*SPOILER ALERT*) on this certain chemistry book that i just read. it's about this guy, Tom, who has a steady relationship of 5 years with this ger named Sara. Tom, apparently, is a ghoster. yea, he gathers information and writes autobiography for people. people who are famous. so this person, George, is really pretty and a famous actress in some soap opera. Bla bla, and tom realised he couldnt control the significant surge in testerone level and did the unimaginable with George. yea, you can call it "having an affair"
So yup, u guessed it. Sara found out and dang, that's it, she chased him out and that signalled the end of their long, yet taken for granted relationship. George dumped him as well, realizing things will never gonna work out btw them. haha shucks ya? Tom has nothing left.
then tom realised how much sara meant to him. how important she is in his life. a tragic example of not knowing what you have till its gone ya? Sad, very sad indeed. and he tried ways, many creative ways i should call them, to win her back. (kinda similar to me over here, mebbe not as creative or special, whatever.) But he fell flat on his face. (same. sad isnt it?)
two years later, tis Tom guy thought he gotten over her. he then shockingly found out that he didnt when Sara appeared, much more prettier than ever, in some mutual friend's party. so they talked, for the 1st time in 2 years, and almost made up later. but the girl didnt want. to her, it'll never be possible for the trust element will never ever be recovered.
and that marks the end of this brief(or issit?) introduction. just realised its kinda same for me. just that i din cheat on her. there's sho many other things u can do to make people lose trust in you. i better not state them out, in case some of you don't believe me and execute dem out.
I learnt something, it's extremely hard to be back together after breaking up. sad but true. ah well, 2 years won't be that long right? to move on..? (speaking of which, i'm officially a fanatic of novels)
True love. what on earth is it? How does it feel like? Will i ever experience it? or i mean, will i ever get to have it for rest of my life? I can only ponder, imagine or dream for now i guess.
Monday, November 01, 2004
*>.<*
cant stand the blardy lag in the game that im hooked on currently. Yes its maple story, this super mario like game. boring yet addictive. strange huh? maybe coz of the company i hab inside, or maybe some other reason, some unknown reason, some reason that should always remain unknown.
had my first day of detention today. ain't bad, the book that i juz bought recently was kinda interesting. for book lovers out there, its.. umm.. titled "A Certain Chemistry". yea its cover's green color, so it looks kinda ghey for guys, but well, it's delightfully readable.
moving on.. hrmm.. yup who needs love? i mean, who needs those kind of passionate love, those that set your heart racing all the time, those that some people just seem cant get enough of, and yea those that you see being shared by couples in the park, beaches, or simply anywhere private.
i can get by alone, i don't need any girls. but nah, im straight, sho dont get me wrong. well, if i do bump into love anytime in the future, i'll be accepting it i guess. hahaha, yea tis sounds contradicting but to me, love's a privelledge(or however u spell it), but not a requirement. but anyways, i guess i need a hell lot of time to get over her..
oh yea, i "accidentally" discovered i hab this thing for novels. oh yea, "A certain chemistry"'s a novel, sho yup, i dink novel's about people's life story isnt it? or issit? ah wadever, its nice. perhaps i can be a novellist? or mebbe not, i still prefer being a psycologist. haha.
oooooh well, i do sound different today isnt it? in my blog? yea its still me, mebbe this certain chemistry book kinda change my way of conversing. ahh.. time to catch up wib this novel.
ps: im kinda hyper. i know it, and i feel it. maybe something uncanny got into me. i wonder.
Fate acts like a bus stop. you are the passenger and people whom are compaitable with you are buses. three things can happen. either the bus departs before you get on it, or the bus arrives too late when you're long gone in another bus. but the perfect scenario, it's you get on the right bus, at the right time.
For me? the bus threw me out, it wasn't happy with me. maybe because of my crap and excessive trash. So now, i need a great deal of time to make it back to the bus stop. so yea, slowly, step by step, i'll make it.
cant stand the blardy lag in the game that im hooked on currently. Yes its maple story, this super mario like game. boring yet addictive. strange huh? maybe coz of the company i hab inside, or maybe some other reason, some unknown reason, some reason that should always remain unknown.
had my first day of detention today. ain't bad, the book that i juz bought recently was kinda interesting. for book lovers out there, its.. umm.. titled "A Certain Chemistry". yea its cover's green color, so it looks kinda ghey for guys, but well, it's delightfully readable.
moving on.. hrmm.. yup who needs love? i mean, who needs those kind of passionate love, those that set your heart racing all the time, those that some people just seem cant get enough of, and yea those that you see being shared by couples in the park, beaches, or simply anywhere private.
i can get by alone, i don't need any girls. but nah, im straight, sho dont get me wrong. well, if i do bump into love anytime in the future, i'll be accepting it i guess. hahaha, yea tis sounds contradicting but to me, love's a privelledge(or however u spell it), but not a requirement. but anyways, i guess i need a hell lot of time to get over her..
oh yea, i "accidentally" discovered i hab this thing for novels. oh yea, "A certain chemistry"'s a novel, sho yup, i dink novel's about people's life story isnt it? or issit? ah wadever, its nice. perhaps i can be a novellist? or mebbe not, i still prefer being a psycologist. haha.
oooooh well, i do sound different today isnt it? in my blog? yea its still me, mebbe this certain chemistry book kinda change my way of conversing. ahh.. time to catch up wib this novel.
ps: im kinda hyper. i know it, and i feel it. maybe something uncanny got into me. i wonder.
Fate acts like a bus stop. you are the passenger and people whom are compaitable with you are buses. three things can happen. either the bus departs before you get on it, or the bus arrives too late when you're long gone in another bus. but the perfect scenario, it's you get on the right bus, at the right time.
For me? the bus threw me out, it wasn't happy with me. maybe because of my crap and excessive trash. So now, i need a great deal of time to make it back to the bus stop. so yea, slowly, step by step, i'll make it.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
*oh thank goodness...*
There's many thing i'm grateful for today. really elated that she didnt reject the roses. thought she would.. and it'll be an ultimate rejection. and hope she keeps them too, and enjoy the chocolates that came with it.. then, i'll be more den happy.
Yesh!!! 3e5 clinched the 2nd place for soccer! and i scored the winning goal in the match that separates us from 3n2. they got the 3rd placing. that moment was precious, i just ran and turned completely insane after scoring. ahh... i can remember every single detail. Well done ben, qin yu, kenny, leonard, jun gang and young wei. all of us made it.
Ive always lost in interklas soccer. for both sec 1 and sec 2. sho yup, the fact that i stopped the tradition of losing adds on to the joy. we won!!! YESH YESH YESH!
she didnt come though. sigh.. cldnt share the joy with her.. i don't even dare to talk to her now. i can only look at her from afar, and look at her blog,(i wonder hus enshan) her msn nickname etc. "the worst way to miss someone is seating right beside her, knowing you cant have her". So darn true.
na don pity me, i deserve tis tragic ending. it happened because of my faults, my mistakes. but i just wanna do my best , my very best. till i won't be able to do so..
alwights, ive gotta hab some food, didnt eat much today. and ultimately.. 2 days left.
- you were there.. out there, sharing the joy with me when i clinched the goal, when the final whistle sounded. Perhaps, it's just some silly imagination of mine. but i cant help it, for you're there in my heart..-
There's many thing i'm grateful for today. really elated that she didnt reject the roses. thought she would.. and it'll be an ultimate rejection. and hope she keeps them too, and enjoy the chocolates that came with it.. then, i'll be more den happy.
Yesh!!! 3e5 clinched the 2nd place for soccer! and i scored the winning goal in the match that separates us from 3n2. they got the 3rd placing. that moment was precious, i just ran and turned completely insane after scoring. ahh... i can remember every single detail. Well done ben, qin yu, kenny, leonard, jun gang and young wei. all of us made it.
Ive always lost in interklas soccer. for both sec 1 and sec 2. sho yup, the fact that i stopped the tradition of losing adds on to the joy. we won!!! YESH YESH YESH!
she didnt come though. sigh.. cldnt share the joy with her.. i don't even dare to talk to her now. i can only look at her from afar, and look at her blog,(i wonder hus enshan) her msn nickname etc. "the worst way to miss someone is seating right beside her, knowing you cant have her". So darn true.
na don pity me, i deserve tis tragic ending. it happened because of my faults, my mistakes. but i just wanna do my best , my very best. till i won't be able to do so..
alwights, ive gotta hab some food, didnt eat much today. and ultimately.. 2 days left.
- you were there.. out there, sharing the joy with me when i clinched the goal, when the final whistle sounded. Perhaps, it's just some silly imagination of mine. but i cant help it, for you're there in my heart..-
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
*time's up.. soon*
Alwights.. just feeling pretty moody at the moment. so i just vent it out here. the end of our school term's coming, 3 days more to be exact.
Sigh.. i'm not exactly looking forward to it.. coz i noe, based on our current situation.. we don't even talk when we bump into each other. not even a hi. and with just 3 days.. things cant possibly improve from there. i really hate it, just 3 days more, i won't get to see her anymore.. anymore anymore!
ah well.. what can i possibly do? 3 days more, and i guess, everything will be over then. and i noe i won't be able to take that easily. but its okae, i have help.
-other girls will come along, they always do. but what's the point when all i want is you.-
Alwights.. just feeling pretty moody at the moment. so i just vent it out here. the end of our school term's coming, 3 days more to be exact.
Sigh.. i'm not exactly looking forward to it.. coz i noe, based on our current situation.. we don't even talk when we bump into each other. not even a hi. and with just 3 days.. things cant possibly improve from there. i really hate it, just 3 days more, i won't get to see her anymore.. anymore anymore!
ah well.. what can i possibly do? 3 days more, and i guess, everything will be over then. and i noe i won't be able to take that easily. but its okae, i have help.
-other girls will come along, they always do. but what's the point when all i want is you.-
Monday, October 25, 2004
*fiesta*
Boo! rushing through tis update to show that I am still well and kicking here. Thank goodness i didnt retain, else i don't noe how am i gonna face my future. so now i guess im taking as a sign, a sign for me to buck up.
fiesta tml. wonder how my klas will do. haha, hopefully good. i'm a face painter! bwahah. and umm, tml dere's interklas as well. sec 3 2nd round. hope 3e5 manage to get into the finals at least. wish us luck.
i guess that's about it. short and simple.
Boo! rushing through tis update to show that I am still well and kicking here. Thank goodness i didnt retain, else i don't noe how am i gonna face my future. so now i guess im taking as a sign, a sign for me to buck up.
fiesta tml. wonder how my klas will do. haha, hopefully good. i'm a face painter! bwahah. and umm, tml dere's interklas as well. sec 3 2nd round. hope 3e5 manage to get into the finals at least. wish us luck.
i guess that's about it. short and simple.
Friday, October 15, 2004
*let's get the party started*
So exams are finally over. cheerios for those hu have completed all of their exams and keep going for those hu are still have a few more papers to go. haha, so i sppose its time to relax and stuff, but i just cant help but to worry i might retain. argh, if only i can get to know my results earlier ya?
went to bugis junction today. bought a new converse cap and watched wimbledon. hahaha wimbledon rocks man, its a really show and it'll be a pity if i spoil it for you. go catch it urself, you won't regret, fer sure.
hrmm, it still hurts now and then, but i tink its better already. step by step, day after day, months after months, i'll eventually make it. right..?
So exams are finally over. cheerios for those hu have completed all of their exams and keep going for those hu are still have a few more papers to go. haha, so i sppose its time to relax and stuff, but i just cant help but to worry i might retain. argh, if only i can get to know my results earlier ya?
went to bugis junction today. bought a new converse cap and watched wimbledon. hahaha wimbledon rocks man, its a really show and it'll be a pity if i spoil it for you. go catch it urself, you won't regret, fer sure.
hrmm, it still hurts now and then, but i tink its better already. step by step, day after day, months after months, i'll eventually make it. right..?
Monday, October 11, 2004
*vending machine!*
Below cld very well be the lamest thing u ever read in your life time. You've been warned.
"yeap, the vending that you always look for whenever you're thirsty. You've just gotta pop in some coins and there you go, a chilled drink to quence your thirst. That explains why some people treat coins as though they are made of gold.
Success can be related to vending machine as well. Let's start with the input of the coins. the coins are simply, our efforts. Ever notice how the drinks vary in prices? Normally, the nicer drinks cost more than any average drink ya? So, in order to achieve longer lasting success(for eg. 100 plus for ur thirst), more effort have to be put in.
I'm sure all of you have seen people insert the coins in a real hurry. what happens? the coins just won't be accepted by the vending machine, and comes out from the bottom instead. This proves that there is no short cut to success and that patience plays a vital role in achieving success.
Naturally, if there's room for success, there's room for failures as well. So is there a relationship between failures and e vending machine? Yes. Ever tried putting coins into machine, but no matter how hard you press the button for your desired drink, nothing comes out? Thereafter, you start to panick and press the "coin return" button, but to your horror, only air molecules came out. Then, you just groan and grumble, kick the machine in sheer disgust and walk away having your day totally ruined. Just because the machine "ate" your money.
Isn't that how u feel when you thought you put in so much effort, yet the result of your efforts are fruitless? Say your business, relationships or scientific experiments, many times you'll experience tis kind of situation.
Don't ever take success for granted. Yes you might be happy that you've achieve so much, but that doesnt mean the success u enjoyed will be permanent. anything can happen. and failures shld not be treated too seriously. if you never taste failures before, how are you able to appreciate success?
I'm sure failures are part and parcel of life. Learn from your mistakes and strive hard to achieve success. and study the crappy theory of vending machine! "
Yeap. its written by me. did it during geography exam. haha, it's really lame donch u think. Guess i just got a lil too bored. alrights, time to pick up my chemistry stuff and study. good day all.
Below cld very well be the lamest thing u ever read in your life time. You've been warned.
"yeap, the vending that you always look for whenever you're thirsty. You've just gotta pop in some coins and there you go, a chilled drink to quence your thirst. That explains why some people treat coins as though they are made of gold.
Success can be related to vending machine as well. Let's start with the input of the coins. the coins are simply, our efforts. Ever notice how the drinks vary in prices? Normally, the nicer drinks cost more than any average drink ya? So, in order to achieve longer lasting success(for eg. 100 plus for ur thirst), more effort have to be put in.
I'm sure all of you have seen people insert the coins in a real hurry. what happens? the coins just won't be accepted by the vending machine, and comes out from the bottom instead. This proves that there is no short cut to success and that patience plays a vital role in achieving success.
Naturally, if there's room for success, there's room for failures as well. So is there a relationship between failures and e vending machine? Yes. Ever tried putting coins into machine, but no matter how hard you press the button for your desired drink, nothing comes out? Thereafter, you start to panick and press the "coin return" button, but to your horror, only air molecules came out. Then, you just groan and grumble, kick the machine in sheer disgust and walk away having your day totally ruined. Just because the machine "ate" your money.
Isn't that how u feel when you thought you put in so much effort, yet the result of your efforts are fruitless? Say your business, relationships or scientific experiments, many times you'll experience tis kind of situation.
Don't ever take success for granted. Yes you might be happy that you've achieve so much, but that doesnt mean the success u enjoyed will be permanent. anything can happen. and failures shld not be treated too seriously. if you never taste failures before, how are you able to appreciate success?
I'm sure failures are part and parcel of life. Learn from your mistakes and strive hard to achieve success. and study the crappy theory of vending machine! "
Yeap. its written by me. did it during geography exam. haha, it's really lame donch u think. Guess i just got a lil too bored. alrights, time to pick up my chemistry stuff and study. good day all.
Saturday, October 09, 2004
*winning eleven 8!*
bwahaha, winning eleven 8 rocks man. just bought it today, now im kinda addicted to it. hrmm.. well.. i guess i'll study soon after tis, or maybe after the england soccer match. i dont wanna retain this year man.. really screwed up my secondary 3.
played loads of soccer yesterday, dink from 1 pm to 7pm ba. so all of us were really tired, been ages since i play soccer due to the blardy exams. but nevertheless, it was darn fun. went to stay over at Benjamin's house later on at night. sigh, i'm really a pig, i slept so early over there, wasted my life and time.
as for how i am currently feeling.. hrmm.. aint exactly sure. Mixed feelings i guess. but i promise i won't be so foolish to even attempt to kill myself. now im just trying to keep myself as occupied as possible, so i won't go around thinking so much. to my frens all there, really thanks for your concern.
bwahaha, winning eleven 8 rocks man. just bought it today, now im kinda addicted to it. hrmm.. well.. i guess i'll study soon after tis, or maybe after the england soccer match. i dont wanna retain this year man.. really screwed up my secondary 3.
played loads of soccer yesterday, dink from 1 pm to 7pm ba. so all of us were really tired, been ages since i play soccer due to the blardy exams. but nevertheless, it was darn fun. went to stay over at Benjamin's house later on at night. sigh, i'm really a pig, i slept so early over there, wasted my life and time.
as for how i am currently feeling.. hrmm.. aint exactly sure. Mixed feelings i guess. but i promise i won't be so foolish to even attempt to kill myself. now im just trying to keep myself as occupied as possible, so i won't go around thinking so much. to my frens all there, really thanks for your concern.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
-i know i know i know!!!!!!!!!!-
so the news are spreading around pretty hotly. i know i know i know, i know i'm the dumbest person alive, why wld a sane person ask for break up when in their heart and mind, they wish they didn't ask at all? Call me insane or something. Scold me please.
Why why why? will anyone just bother to ask me why? and now everybody claims i asked for break up due to anger. It wasn't due to anger. It wasn't due to anger. It wasn't due to anger. nobody will understand how i feel exactly.. nobody will even bother. ARGH!!!!!!
i'm the dumbest guy alive. even mr benson teo repeatedly asked me is there a chance to salvage the relationship. I really wanna kill myself right now, spare myself from tis endless torture. DAMN THIS FRICKING WORLD! ARGHHHH!!!!!
so the news are spreading around pretty hotly. i know i know i know, i know i'm the dumbest person alive, why wld a sane person ask for break up when in their heart and mind, they wish they didn't ask at all? Call me insane or something. Scold me please.
Why why why? will anyone just bother to ask me why? and now everybody claims i asked for break up due to anger. It wasn't due to anger. It wasn't due to anger. It wasn't due to anger. nobody will understand how i feel exactly.. nobody will even bother. ARGH!!!!!!
i'm the dumbest guy alive. even mr benson teo repeatedly asked me is there a chance to salvage the relationship. I really wanna kill myself right now, spare myself from tis endless torture. DAMN THIS FRICKING WORLD! ARGHHHH!!!!!
Sunday, October 03, 2004
*coming out of the shell*
Boo yea guys! I guess i shan't hide anymore. Time to come out of my "comfort zone" and face the harsh reality. Yeap, some of you might have already noticed, i'm out of my recent relationship. Nah i may look innocent and stuff, but the fault lies in me. I committed grave mistakes that can never be forgotten nor forgiven. shan't reveal much about it.. kinda private.
I guess i did learn from mistakes(unfortunately ..for getting over people only). Tis time round, i chose to move on much earlier than previously. Nah not because i love her lesser or anything, i just don't wanna end up lost and depressed again. you'll find out that there's not much point crying over spilled milk someday. (i admit, i did cry pretty badly), crying won't get her back. simple as that. I guess i shld be happy that it happened, and not cry because it ended.
I'm not sure if i can do so successfully. There'll definitely be back lashes. i may just break down again. i'll be seeing her in school for quite some time too. it'll be hard, but i'll try. i'll endure those heart wrenching moments, time will ease all this ryte? And yup, to my good friends(neglected all of u once again.. im sorry), this is time i really need you guys.. to help me up and get me back to singlehood. oh yeah, i msut take this opportunity to thank tat yi. i'll do so later.
dum di de dum. I'll review my recent relationship and find out what my faults are. what went wrong etc. but naaaah, im not gonna be desperate and look for gers to be my significant other. Like the term goes, "significant" means someone really special and important. I'll let fate decide for me.
Sigh.. all the memories we shared and stuff. Hard to put them aside and move on ya? the best way is not to chuck away those memories, the best way is to realise that it's all over, and bring along those good memories with you. ouch.. my heart hurts!! =x
here are some words i would like to tell him or her.(no they are not my last words. i still wanna live!!)
sam: you're a really great gal. to think u can stand my crap throughout.. and be there for me whenever im down or lost. i just didnt appreciate u well enough.. and now that we arent lovers, i'll still be around for you, as a friend at least right..? :)
tat yi: thks for being there for me man. Both of us are really similar in our thinking and thats what that makes us click right? hope u get your gal shoon.
solomon: haha, ure chatting wib me ryte now. hope u and her can sort out all your problems. thks for your advice too. takaire!
delphine: hahaha, my bestest best best mei mei. really appreciate ur help.
m.c: sorry to have disappointed you. really screwed up my life despite ur kind efforts to guide me. but really thank you.. i will get my life back on track. and hope we meet up someday.
hui ting: i cherish your patient effort to cheer me up too. thanks loads!
you know who u are: i didnt by any chance snatch her away from you. sho don bother to gloat at me.
That's about it. thks for reading my lengthy post. love is precious, don't ever take it for granted.
Boo yea guys! I guess i shan't hide anymore. Time to come out of my "comfort zone" and face the harsh reality. Yeap, some of you might have already noticed, i'm out of my recent relationship. Nah i may look innocent and stuff, but the fault lies in me. I committed grave mistakes that can never be forgotten nor forgiven. shan't reveal much about it.. kinda private.
I guess i did learn from mistakes(unfortunately ..for getting over people only). Tis time round, i chose to move on much earlier than previously. Nah not because i love her lesser or anything, i just don't wanna end up lost and depressed again. you'll find out that there's not much point crying over spilled milk someday. (i admit, i did cry pretty badly), crying won't get her back. simple as that. I guess i shld be happy that it happened, and not cry because it ended.
I'm not sure if i can do so successfully. There'll definitely be back lashes. i may just break down again. i'll be seeing her in school for quite some time too. it'll be hard, but i'll try. i'll endure those heart wrenching moments, time will ease all this ryte? And yup, to my good friends(neglected all of u once again.. im sorry), this is time i really need you guys.. to help me up and get me back to singlehood. oh yeah, i msut take this opportunity to thank tat yi. i'll do so later.
dum di de dum. I'll review my recent relationship and find out what my faults are. what went wrong etc. but naaaah, im not gonna be desperate and look for gers to be my significant other. Like the term goes, "significant" means someone really special and important. I'll let fate decide for me.
Sigh.. all the memories we shared and stuff. Hard to put them aside and move on ya? the best way is not to chuck away those memories, the best way is to realise that it's all over, and bring along those good memories with you. ouch.. my heart hurts!! =x
here are some words i would like to tell him or her.(no they are not my last words. i still wanna live!!)
sam: you're a really great gal. to think u can stand my crap throughout.. and be there for me whenever im down or lost. i just didnt appreciate u well enough.. and now that we arent lovers, i'll still be around for you, as a friend at least right..? :)
tat yi: thks for being there for me man. Both of us are really similar in our thinking and thats what that makes us click right? hope u get your gal shoon.
solomon: haha, ure chatting wib me ryte now. hope u and her can sort out all your problems. thks for your advice too. takaire!
delphine: hahaha, my bestest best best mei mei. really appreciate ur help.
m.c: sorry to have disappointed you. really screwed up my life despite ur kind efforts to guide me. but really thank you.. i will get my life back on track. and hope we meet up someday.
hui ting: i cherish your patient effort to cheer me up too. thanks loads!
you know who u are: i didnt by any chance snatch her away from you. sho don bother to gloat at me.
That's about it. thks for reading my lengthy post. love is precious, don't ever take it for granted.
Monday, September 27, 2004
*back on my feet*
Hello everyone! been missing in action lately. Really stressed up nowadays and just feel really unmotivated in life. Like mr chong once said, everyone of us has a emotional well or smthing(i've forgotten =x) yeap now mine's running real low. Don't worry, i'll fill it up now, slowly, day after day.
Weehaa, bought new school shoes, nah normally wont be too happy about it, but this time round, my skewl shoes are street soccer shoes! bwahaha, i guess that'll prolly enhance my soccer game, cheerios!
Got a heavy scolding from mr heok. i've woken up. i'm gonna be the responsible person i once was. aint easy, but i'll try nevertheless. i'll change for the better.
-maybe i'll be wrong, maybe i'll regret, maybe it'll turn out the way i wish it didnt. I don't noe, i don't care either. This time round, i'm willing to try.-
Hello everyone! been missing in action lately. Really stressed up nowadays and just feel really unmotivated in life. Like mr chong once said, everyone of us has a emotional well or smthing(i've forgotten =x) yeap now mine's running real low. Don't worry, i'll fill it up now, slowly, day after day.
Weehaa, bought new school shoes, nah normally wont be too happy about it, but this time round, my skewl shoes are street soccer shoes! bwahaha, i guess that'll prolly enhance my soccer game, cheerios!
Got a heavy scolding from mr heok. i've woken up. i'm gonna be the responsible person i once was. aint easy, but i'll try nevertheless. i'll change for the better.
-maybe i'll be wrong, maybe i'll regret, maybe it'll turn out the way i wish it didnt. I don't noe, i don't care either. This time round, i'm willing to try.-
Saturday, September 18, 2004
*lost*
Been a long day.. a long strenous day. I'm tired, mentally and physically.
Went for taekwondo training yesterday, it was good, learnt patterns and stuff, but the main aim that i chose to join wasnt fufilled.
Departed from Kembangan CC alone, felt pretty empty throughout. and met a crying lil boy along the way to the bus stop. apparently, he lost his parents and didnt noe wad to do. thankfully, a security guard helped him out.
That sparked off some memories in my head. I myself have been left alone(or rather i wandered off sumwhere) when i was a kid. the feeling sucks when everybody around you are strangers, and you dont noe which way to go. it was real frightening. but i did managed to find my way back to my parents long time back.
I dont know how to exactly explain how i'm feeling. quarrels with my dad are getting more frequent and more aggresive. my studies' are in a big mess, and my love life's getting strained.
I'm not sure how long can i hold out, even the drastic attempt to stop all this(commiting suicide) seems to be more and more tempting.
Jokes arent funny anymore. smiling ish a chore. joyous moments disappeared along with time. i hate the life im having right now.. i need answers, i need to noe what to do, how to make it out of all this... alive.
I've lost the optimism i once had when i was younger. i could easily brush away negative and bad experiences. how am i able to lift myself out of all this.. but i dont wanna gib up either. argh...
-you arent there anymore-
Been a long day.. a long strenous day. I'm tired, mentally and physically.
Went for taekwondo training yesterday, it was good, learnt patterns and stuff, but the main aim that i chose to join wasnt fufilled.
Departed from Kembangan CC alone, felt pretty empty throughout. and met a crying lil boy along the way to the bus stop. apparently, he lost his parents and didnt noe wad to do. thankfully, a security guard helped him out.
That sparked off some memories in my head. I myself have been left alone(or rather i wandered off sumwhere) when i was a kid. the feeling sucks when everybody around you are strangers, and you dont noe which way to go. it was real frightening. but i did managed to find my way back to my parents long time back.
I dont know how to exactly explain how i'm feeling. quarrels with my dad are getting more frequent and more aggresive. my studies' are in a big mess, and my love life's getting strained.
I'm not sure how long can i hold out, even the drastic attempt to stop all this(commiting suicide) seems to be more and more tempting.
Jokes arent funny anymore. smiling ish a chore. joyous moments disappeared along with time. i hate the life im having right now.. i need answers, i need to noe what to do, how to make it out of all this... alive.
I've lost the optimism i once had when i was younger. i could easily brush away negative and bad experiences. how am i able to lift myself out of all this.. but i dont wanna gib up either. argh...
-you arent there anymore-
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
*trying*
Yeh noe, i kinda like the word "trying". you can look at it in several ways. juz some of my lame-ism. yeap anyways, ive been trying real hard, to please everyone. friends, teachers.. everyone. I truly hope things could work out somehow.. before the end of january 2005. There are setbacks.. definitely. still, i'll be trying.
Today was pretty alwight, had PE and discussed bout the fIEsta thingy. We're supposed to sell products or services to earn money. kinda letting us taste how issit like having a business to run. IT was pretty good, ideas came pouring in.
PE was frisbee. haha, wish i could curl those soccer balls juz like how i did so with the frisbees. uh well.. it was still pretty fun. trashed our other class mates 5-1 ^.^
Stayed back after school. went for ncc meeting. apparently we have to prepare for this coming friday's STEP programme. went on to play soccer shortly after. haha been ages since i stayed back till so late just to play soccer. it was fun, practiced several soccer related stuff. i love soccer to the very max!
discussed with benjamin and big.leonard about our current soccer team. oh yea my new jersey number ish 15. kewl eh, 15/4/04 ma =x It was unbelievable that we acherly had 20+ players in the team. when we started off, nobody wanted to join at all. now so many peeps are vying over the first team slots. man.. challenging.
That's about it, reached home at 7.30++ kinda exhausted after all the soccer-ing. alryte.. off to emaths. *gets engine started*
-where did e moon hid itself....-
Yeh noe, i kinda like the word "trying". you can look at it in several ways. juz some of my lame-ism. yeap anyways, ive been trying real hard, to please everyone. friends, teachers.. everyone. I truly hope things could work out somehow.. before the end of january 2005. There are setbacks.. definitely. still, i'll be trying.
Today was pretty alwight, had PE and discussed bout the fIEsta thingy. We're supposed to sell products or services to earn money. kinda letting us taste how issit like having a business to run. IT was pretty good, ideas came pouring in.
PE was frisbee. haha, wish i could curl those soccer balls juz like how i did so with the frisbees. uh well.. it was still pretty fun. trashed our other class mates 5-1 ^.^
Stayed back after school. went for ncc meeting. apparently we have to prepare for this coming friday's STEP programme. went on to play soccer shortly after. haha been ages since i stayed back till so late just to play soccer. it was fun, practiced several soccer related stuff. i love soccer to the very max!
discussed with benjamin and big.leonard about our current soccer team. oh yea my new jersey number ish 15. kewl eh, 15/4/04 ma =x It was unbelievable that we acherly had 20+ players in the team. when we started off, nobody wanted to join at all. now so many peeps are vying over the first team slots. man.. challenging.
That's about it, reached home at 7.30++ kinda exhausted after all the soccer-ing. alryte.. off to emaths. *gets engine started*
-where did e moon hid itself....-
Monday, September 13, 2004
*the final lap*
vroom vroom! it's the last lap! everybody's ahead and im lagging behind once again. racing with unrepaired tyres fer the very last lap. excess baggage whatever. my homework's undone, my studies in a mess and my personal probs seems to be bigger than ever. ahh...
alwights, what happened today? pretty nothing much, except it's steven birthday today, and the whole bunch of us went off fer pastamania fer lunch. thankie fully, sam was wib me all along. (ham+mushroom pizza.. ham+mushroom pizza.. ham+mushroom pizza...)
had a lecture as well, woot. wish we could hab such lectures regularly man. it'll be great time to fall asleep, air con everything, and a pretty fine table fer u to rest your head on. Kewl doood.
Went on for taekwondo training lata on in the night. This time with Kenny. Sam's pretty sick today p.s get well shoooon btw dear (www.hastmana.blogspot.com) Sho it was pretty fun for me, kinda mastered my pattern to a limited extent. i'm gonna practice practice and practice.
Returning home was kinda weird. Kenny's dad sent him home, sho i had to leave for home myself. just felt pretty empty somehow, donno why, maybe i'm lonely or something. hate this darn feeling. ahh well..
here's a pic that i guess it'll be nice to share it wib you guys.
Alwights, i cant explain my weird expression. From left: qin yu, me, leonard and cheepeng.
vroom vroom! it's the last lap! everybody's ahead and im lagging behind once again. racing with unrepaired tyres fer the very last lap. excess baggage whatever. my homework's undone, my studies in a mess and my personal probs seems to be bigger than ever. ahh...
alwights, what happened today? pretty nothing much, except it's steven birthday today, and the whole bunch of us went off fer pastamania fer lunch. thankie fully, sam was wib me all along. (ham+mushroom pizza.. ham+mushroom pizza.. ham+mushroom pizza...)
had a lecture as well, woot. wish we could hab such lectures regularly man. it'll be great time to fall asleep, air con everything, and a pretty fine table fer u to rest your head on. Kewl doood.
Went on for taekwondo training lata on in the night. This time with Kenny. Sam's pretty sick today p.s get well shoooon btw dear (www.hastmana.blogspot.com) Sho it was pretty fun for me, kinda mastered my pattern to a limited extent. i'm gonna practice practice and practice.
Returning home was kinda weird. Kenny's dad sent him home, sho i had to leave for home myself. just felt pretty empty somehow, donno why, maybe i'm lonely or something. hate this darn feeling. ahh well..
here's a pic that i guess it'll be nice to share it wib you guys.
Alwights, i cant explain my weird expression. From left: qin yu, me, leonard and cheepeng.
Friday, September 10, 2004
*i'm back..*
Yeap, back from a 5 day stint over at Outward Bound Singapore! not exactly happy tho.. just feels weird going back home. not that i don want to, its just that i rather spend my life in e forest, peaceful and serene, aint that great? and habing a group of friends talking cock all e time..
okay, let's go! i shall now talk about what i went through. it's tough, not as tough as mt ophir tho, but much more exciting in my opinion. okae the ferst day, was introduced to our bestest best best instructor ever..! her name's Li Shan. the perfect role model for youngsters like us. she's young yet she's sho wise. always caring for us, always sharing wisdom and teaching us life lessons via various challenges. she's simply the best! will miss her badly.
okae, had an ice breaking session and got to know more of my group mates. they are great btw, all of them.. we complement each other and conflicts were minimal! my group ish Amundsen. In case you're wondering hu's that person, he's the first person to set foot on South pole. kewl eh?
the most memorable moment was during the tunneling. well, we had to walk through sum woods in e dark and den crawl through a tunnel. thankfully it was in pairs, i wld be sho much more afraid to do it alone. (but i will laaa! =x) the tunnel was scary man, you cant see your fingers, and the way to get out ish to rely on ur sense of touch and possibly hearing. the tunnel's kinda small too, sho dere isnt much space fer u to move about. I'll never forget how it feels wen i crawled and navigated e way out.
and the bond between one and another amundsen mates were great. all of can easily click wib one another, sharing problems, cracking jokes etc. sho yup, hopefully we'll meet up someday, together with li shan , our instructor.
me will never forget the life lessons. learnt how to be more independent, and giving gives u more satisfaction than taking. i'll try to apply it in reality, it wun be easy, but i'll try my bestest best. sho yup , to end it all, here's some words li shan told us.
Go where you want to go. Do what you want to do. Be what you want to be. The obs spirit!
-i'm missing you, all e time , all along, always.-
Yeap, back from a 5 day stint over at Outward Bound Singapore! not exactly happy tho.. just feels weird going back home. not that i don want to, its just that i rather spend my life in e forest, peaceful and serene, aint that great? and habing a group of friends talking cock all e time..
okay, let's go! i shall now talk about what i went through. it's tough, not as tough as mt ophir tho, but much more exciting in my opinion. okae the ferst day, was introduced to our bestest best best instructor ever..! her name's Li Shan. the perfect role model for youngsters like us. she's young yet she's sho wise. always caring for us, always sharing wisdom and teaching us life lessons via various challenges. she's simply the best! will miss her badly.
okae, had an ice breaking session and got to know more of my group mates. they are great btw, all of them.. we complement each other and conflicts were minimal! my group ish Amundsen. In case you're wondering hu's that person, he's the first person to set foot on South pole. kewl eh?
the most memorable moment was during the tunneling. well, we had to walk through sum woods in e dark and den crawl through a tunnel. thankfully it was in pairs, i wld be sho much more afraid to do it alone. (but i will laaa! =x) the tunnel was scary man, you cant see your fingers, and the way to get out ish to rely on ur sense of touch and possibly hearing. the tunnel's kinda small too, sho dere isnt much space fer u to move about. I'll never forget how it feels wen i crawled and navigated e way out.
and the bond between one and another amundsen mates were great. all of can easily click wib one another, sharing problems, cracking jokes etc. sho yup, hopefully we'll meet up someday, together with li shan , our instructor.
me will never forget the life lessons. learnt how to be more independent, and giving gives u more satisfaction than taking. i'll try to apply it in reality, it wun be easy, but i'll try my bestest best. sho yup , to end it all, here's some words li shan told us.
Go where you want to go. Do what you want to do. Be what you want to be. The obs spirit!
-i'm missing you, all e time , all along, always.-
Saturday, September 04, 2004
*the reason*
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?
Found that pretty meaningful. guess its trying to bring out that if u like a person, let her/him know. if you don't, you may just lose him/her to somebody else. and the regret that comes.. just hurts real bad. (p.s i want you to stay)
anyways, today's real boooring. Chose to skip PoA lesson. haha, just pure lazy. =x. Then just kinda practice my taekwondo pattern and mass gbing wib my pals. Pretty boring really.. i'm a no-lifer.
Had a really bad nightmare by the way. guess its my weird thought patterns that made up the nightmare. ahh.. i've gotta stay cool now man. Else i'm gonna die in an accident in Outward Bound singapore.
Speaking of which, its just 2 days more! I'm not exactly looking forward to it. Not emotionally prepared(physically i'm always am =x). I'm still kinda shaky at the moment, time to pluck out some courage to face the 5 days baby! I'm not worried bout the obstacles there.. i'm worried what might happen when im away.
thank goodness sam's back at home safe and sound. feel kinda better now. ciao peeps.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?
Found that pretty meaningful. guess its trying to bring out that if u like a person, let her/him know. if you don't, you may just lose him/her to somebody else. and the regret that comes.. just hurts real bad. (p.s i want you to stay)
anyways, today's real boooring. Chose to skip PoA lesson. haha, just pure lazy. =x. Then just kinda practice my taekwondo pattern and mass gbing wib my pals. Pretty boring really.. i'm a no-lifer.
Had a really bad nightmare by the way. guess its my weird thought patterns that made up the nightmare. ahh.. i've gotta stay cool now man. Else i'm gonna die in an accident in Outward Bound singapore.
Speaking of which, its just 2 days more! I'm not exactly looking forward to it. Not emotionally prepared(physically i'm always am =x). I'm still kinda shaky at the moment, time to pluck out some courage to face the 5 days baby! I'm not worried bout the obstacles there.. i'm worried what might happen when im away.
thank goodness sam's back at home safe and sound. feel kinda better now. ciao peeps.
Friday, September 03, 2004
*less than 4 mths*
and counting down. its just less than 4 mths to eternal depression. how i wish time could just stop.
Alright, weee! today's the last day of school. And it means i have to go for Outward Bound Singapore reaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllly soon.(this monday btw) I'm nervous, not exactly tho, perhaps more of worrying. anything can happen in 5 days. I just fear that.. i'm not given enough time to express my love or something. Like an air plane taking off with a small area of run way. will it crash or not, that's the question.
I'm an emotional person. I think so too. I'm a guy who kinda doesnt acts like one. Tend to over worry and hyper sensitive. even mdm jamillah said so. She's my form teacher anyways. She just kinda warned me about Boy Girl relationships. told me never ever let it affect ur studies and most relationships don't last, at our age.
Sho im wondering.. wouldnt it be a self fufilled prophecy if i keep that "ahh.. its gonna end anyway" kind of mindset in dealing my current relationship? if i don't expect it to last, will it ever last? Sort out my thoughts please, give me all the answers i want please.
haha, another teacher told me this again. "you can do anything under the sun, but just don't get caught". i still remember, my pri skewl teacher, mr chong, told me the same thing as well. Heh, great minds think alike ya?
preparing to go for taekwondo shoon. it's so weird being a white belt and having a girl friend whos black. eh, but dont look down at me, i get black belt let u see =x.
-there's no point in stopping and notice how many people are there trying to outdo, outperform, outrun you. What matters most is that you keep on running, and be loved in return.-
and counting down. its just less than 4 mths to eternal depression. how i wish time could just stop.
Alright, weee! today's the last day of school. And it means i have to go for Outward Bound Singapore reaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllly soon.(this monday btw) I'm nervous, not exactly tho, perhaps more of worrying. anything can happen in 5 days. I just fear that.. i'm not given enough time to express my love or something. Like an air plane taking off with a small area of run way. will it crash or not, that's the question.
I'm an emotional person. I think so too. I'm a guy who kinda doesnt acts like one. Tend to over worry and hyper sensitive. even mdm jamillah said so. She's my form teacher anyways. She just kinda warned me about Boy Girl relationships. told me never ever let it affect ur studies and most relationships don't last, at our age.
Sho im wondering.. wouldnt it be a self fufilled prophecy if i keep that "ahh.. its gonna end anyway" kind of mindset in dealing my current relationship? if i don't expect it to last, will it ever last? Sort out my thoughts please, give me all the answers i want please.
haha, another teacher told me this again. "you can do anything under the sun, but just don't get caught". i still remember, my pri skewl teacher, mr chong, told me the same thing as well. Heh, great minds think alike ya?
preparing to go for taekwondo shoon. it's so weird being a white belt and having a girl friend whos black. eh, but dont look down at me, i get black belt let u see =x.
-there's no point in stopping and notice how many people are there trying to outdo, outperform, outrun you. What matters most is that you keep on running, and be loved in return.-
Sunday, August 29, 2004
*i'm bored..... so very bored*
Argh...!! Man, this is sho blardy boring. I'm stuck in front of my computer, not knowing what to do. Examinations are over so there aren't any homework. (i suppose so. =x) Feel like going out with pals but none of them are free. Sam's busy too. ( i wonder what shit i will get into next year..)
Kay anyways, just finished mass gunbounding. just ain't fun if u play e game too long. So here am i, spending some time to update this poor webby of mine. Oh ya, my nick name in gunbound ish Zenardio. So if u play gb as well, do add me, i'm better off playing wib friends.
yesterday's dancing rehearsal was alright. Yeap me think i'm kinda stiff. So yup, me gonna practice and practice. Do give the Uniform Group support alright? The performance will be held this upcoming tuesday. Kinda nervous.. baggy jeans arent my type >.<
Haha, taught sam how to dance as well. the "step" dance. Cant wait to see her perform on tuesday as well. =x Wonder what she's doing right now? Probably enjoying herself throughly wib her parents. *jealous =x*
Kay that's about it. Guess i'll just be crazy and dance around in my house.
-it's gonna be me!!-
Argh...!! Man, this is sho blardy boring. I'm stuck in front of my computer, not knowing what to do. Examinations are over so there aren't any homework. (i suppose so. =x) Feel like going out with pals but none of them are free. Sam's busy too. ( i wonder what shit i will get into next year..)
Kay anyways, just finished mass gunbounding. just ain't fun if u play e game too long. So here am i, spending some time to update this poor webby of mine. Oh ya, my nick name in gunbound ish Zenardio. So if u play gb as well, do add me, i'm better off playing wib friends.
yesterday's dancing rehearsal was alright. Yeap me think i'm kinda stiff. So yup, me gonna practice and practice. Do give the Uniform Group support alright? The performance will be held this upcoming tuesday. Kinda nervous.. baggy jeans arent my type >.<
Haha, taught sam how to dance as well. the "step" dance. Cant wait to see her perform on tuesday as well. =x Wonder what she's doing right now? Probably enjoying herself throughly wib her parents. *jealous =x*
Kay that's about it. Guess i'll just be crazy and dance around in my house.
-it's gonna be me!!-
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
*detention*
Oh my holy cow, I wasted my whole afternoon by sitting down at General Office doing crap. Apparently, Mr Ong didnt record down that i went for detention last friday. Oh great, now i served two times already.
Thks to zubaidah, the worst teacher i've ever met ever since im a student. I simply hate her, not a little but to the darn core. Don't get it, all my disciplinary cases are all because of her. If i get sacked from Student Council, i'm gonna give her one tight slap man.
Chatted with Melissa along the way home, haha, kinda took me by surprise that she's an extremely religious person. Yeap she's indeed real faithful and a loyal christian. A gal who brings bible to school and study it. Wow man.. i'll never be able to sit down in the temple and start chanting.
I passed my chinese!! just right on the dot. Been ages since i passed.. weehaaa! *looks at handphone* wish i see your message soon dear.
ps: im sorry dear, its not that i don't love you.. but im just guilty to have upsetted you. im trying.. trying to express it out.. and pray action speaks louder than words.
-the failure to cherish-
Oh my holy cow, I wasted my whole afternoon by sitting down at General Office doing crap. Apparently, Mr Ong didnt record down that i went for detention last friday. Oh great, now i served two times already.
Thks to zubaidah, the worst teacher i've ever met ever since im a student. I simply hate her, not a little but to the darn core. Don't get it, all my disciplinary cases are all because of her. If i get sacked from Student Council, i'm gonna give her one tight slap man.
Chatted with Melissa along the way home, haha, kinda took me by surprise that she's an extremely religious person. Yeap she's indeed real faithful and a loyal christian. A gal who brings bible to school and study it. Wow man.. i'll never be able to sit down in the temple and start chanting.
I passed my chinese!! just right on the dot. Been ages since i passed.. weehaaa! *looks at handphone* wish i see your message soon dear.
ps: im sorry dear, its not that i don't love you.. but im just guilty to have upsetted you. im trying.. trying to express it out.. and pray action speaks louder than words.
-the failure to cherish-
Monday, August 23, 2004
*jealousy*
haha, guess i'm bored. Sho let's just talk about jealousy!!
We all heard of it, this particular green eyed monster that simply infiltrate into people's mind and eventually making them do things they don't want to.
So what on earth ish jealousy? Jealousy simply comes in many different forms. Be it relationships, success, material possession and affection/attention, jealousy happen.. all the time. And if not taken the right steps to curb it, it may prove to be deadly.
Let's start off with relationships, either between lovers and friends. Alright this may sound ironic here, i personally think a little jealousy is needed to sustain a healthy relationship. guess that's what they call... "cute jealousy". Face it, how would you feel when your significant other don't give a hoot when you are flirting with other people outright in front of him/her? You won't feel good at all, instead you'll feel offended instead. This is purely because u'll tend to feel that he/she doesnt care at all.
So what happens when cute jealousy takes place? him/her throws a mini tantrum and you end up consoling him/her. I believe this will actually bring the two parties closer and improve the communication between both of them. (remember! don't attempt to make your ger/guy jealous just because you're jealous. It doesnt work that way!)
Now, the "killer jealousy". So what exactly takes place? Simple. It kills the relationship eventually if left unattended. there are people out there who are way too possessive that even his/her significant other are not allowed to make friends with the opposite sex. and eventually, he/she feel trapped and wants out of the relationship. and *slash slash* murders follow thereafter due to raging jealousy. This is an example of the worst scenario.
guess the main cause of this killer jealousy ish due to the lack of trust, oversensitiveness and paranoia. So guys out there, gers hate guys who are easily jealous. why? coz they arent behaving like real men. and gers want real men.
Dang. Here am i at it again, crapping 24/7 non stop. haha this whole entry ish just my 3 cents worth of perspective.. So if there's anybody who wanna disagree wib it, feel free to do so via the comments box. I guess that's all.. good nights all.
ps: In case you're wondering why I didnt offer solutions. Haha, i myself have difficulty coping with jealousy. But so far wad works for me ish.. stop thinking so much and get yourself occupied instead.
-don't know which way to go-
haha, guess i'm bored. Sho let's just talk about jealousy!!
We all heard of it, this particular green eyed monster that simply infiltrate into people's mind and eventually making them do things they don't want to.
So what on earth ish jealousy? Jealousy simply comes in many different forms. Be it relationships, success, material possession and affection/attention, jealousy happen.. all the time. And if not taken the right steps to curb it, it may prove to be deadly.
Let's start off with relationships, either between lovers and friends. Alright this may sound ironic here, i personally think a little jealousy is needed to sustain a healthy relationship. guess that's what they call... "cute jealousy". Face it, how would you feel when your significant other don't give a hoot when you are flirting with other people outright in front of him/her? You won't feel good at all, instead you'll feel offended instead. This is purely because u'll tend to feel that he/she doesnt care at all.
So what happens when cute jealousy takes place? him/her throws a mini tantrum and you end up consoling him/her. I believe this will actually bring the two parties closer and improve the communication between both of them. (remember! don't attempt to make your ger/guy jealous just because you're jealous. It doesnt work that way!)
Now, the "killer jealousy". So what exactly takes place? Simple. It kills the relationship eventually if left unattended. there are people out there who are way too possessive that even his/her significant other are not allowed to make friends with the opposite sex. and eventually, he/she feel trapped and wants out of the relationship. and *slash slash* murders follow thereafter due to raging jealousy. This is an example of the worst scenario.
guess the main cause of this killer jealousy ish due to the lack of trust, oversensitiveness and paranoia. So guys out there, gers hate guys who are easily jealous. why? coz they arent behaving like real men. and gers want real men.
Dang. Here am i at it again, crapping 24/7 non stop. haha this whole entry ish just my 3 cents worth of perspective.. So if there's anybody who wanna disagree wib it, feel free to do so via the comments box. I guess that's all.. good nights all.
ps: In case you're wondering why I didnt offer solutions. Haha, i myself have difficulty coping with jealousy. But so far wad works for me ish.. stop thinking so much and get yourself occupied instead.
-don't know which way to go-
*when things seem bigger than they really do*
Guess its just me or other people as well? Sometimes, things that seem normal to others tend to be overly emphasized in my fragile mind. I'll just keep thinking and thinking, and slip into thinking negatively. Things just go downhill from there, ending up in me being depressed what so ever.
I admire those people whom know what to do and what not to do. These people are usually decisive and strong willed. They don't let anything get to them and they never let emotions get the better of them. They persevere and succeed in life later on.
I cant.. i'm not that kind of person, or rather not old enough. i wish I am though. I let things get to me too easily. I fail as a true blue man. I'm still a small boy whom lack maturity(i'll die in a war surely). I cant handle stuff as well as a grown up man should be able to. Be it my studies, soccer or relationships.. I always let emotions take over my mind and commit stupid mistakes.
I've seen it this saying somewhere. "Every man has two weaknesses, women and money." That kinda left me pondering.. I've seen stories of sad love stories of broken hearted guys unfold before my very eyes. The guy was too clingy, too possessive, thought too much, easily jealous, and very indecisive whereas the ger was strong willed, not bothered by the guy's wayward behavior and tolerant. But we all know, there's a limit to everything and thus, the guy's heart was broken.
To put it simply, the guy seriously lacked maturity in handling relationships. and it'll never succeed till the guy finally decides to grow up. the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. that's all i guess, i feel better now.
-that's why(you go away)-
Guess its just me or other people as well? Sometimes, things that seem normal to others tend to be overly emphasized in my fragile mind. I'll just keep thinking and thinking, and slip into thinking negatively. Things just go downhill from there, ending up in me being depressed what so ever.
I admire those people whom know what to do and what not to do. These people are usually decisive and strong willed. They don't let anything get to them and they never let emotions get the better of them. They persevere and succeed in life later on.
I cant.. i'm not that kind of person, or rather not old enough. i wish I am though. I let things get to me too easily. I fail as a true blue man. I'm still a small boy whom lack maturity(i'll die in a war surely). I cant handle stuff as well as a grown up man should be able to. Be it my studies, soccer or relationships.. I always let emotions take over my mind and commit stupid mistakes.
I've seen it this saying somewhere. "Every man has two weaknesses, women and money." That kinda left me pondering.. I've seen stories of sad love stories of broken hearted guys unfold before my very eyes. The guy was too clingy, too possessive, thought too much, easily jealous, and very indecisive whereas the ger was strong willed, not bothered by the guy's wayward behavior and tolerant. But we all know, there's a limit to everything and thus, the guy's heart was broken.
To put it simply, the guy seriously lacked maturity in handling relationships. and it'll never succeed till the guy finally decides to grow up. the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. that's all i guess, i feel better now.
-that's why(you go away)-
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
*true friends*
How many actually have them? those friends that will never betray you and whom will choose to stick with you through thick and thin. Well personally, having one true friend is really a blessing.
Remember I've learnt something like this, to have good friends you have to be good friend yourself. Yup, i'm sure true friendships is a two way street, and both parties have to give and take. Thankfully, I have 2 buddies whom are really important to me and they are Andruew and Eugene. Haha, hanged around since primary school ya? Now though we are separated in terms of our schools, we still hang around(recently k box, etc). ps. in case you're wondering why on earth your name aint here, haha, lemme stress that you're beri dear to me too sam =x
Everybody do change over time, in terms of their thinking and ideals. So yup, guess that's one of the reason why.. relationships between lovers or friends fall apart. Kay moving on.. well today it's pretty alwight. Have to go for Outward Bound Singapore camp. Maan.. 5 days yeh noe? That pretty much taken up my September holidays. Oh deaaaaar, i'll miss you darn badly.
School's a bore, i'll shan't talk bout it. Hrmm, hung out with sam after school. Was thinking of getting a diary each and the starting package of Ragnarok Online. Yeap, we were kinda attracted to the new wedding system, sho yup.. no matter what the distance, we can still keep in touch via this game hopefully. That's the main reason why i choose to play it. Sakura Romance! (btw, if anybody do play tis game, do drop a note over at shout box. )
Haha, the diary's for us to perhaps.. voice out how we feel bout our time spent together, what makes us happy what went wrong etc. This will hopefully improve our communication etc(and english), some things are better left said in words. yeah, i'm taking this relationship seriously =x gotta gear up for the future ahead.
then sent sam for her saxophone lesson. So me just sat at the void deck waiting for her. Man.. i wish i had the same musical talent as her, I even have difficulty playing recorder and she's playing tenor(soprano too) saxophone! man, im lousy. Played tamagotchi, was so afraid of people walking past and stay rooted to the ground after seeing a 15 year old guy playing it. two tamagotchi summore!(oh and i wanna complain bout my tamagotchi for not evolving yet!!!) omg. and i fell asleep a while later.
IT was heavy. The tenor saxophone, heard it cost roughly 8000 bucks. had to carry it with extra care. it was funny though, haha. Yeap that's about all i guess. Hoping to update more stuff tomolo. Takaires all.
-you make my day so much brighter-
How many actually have them? those friends that will never betray you and whom will choose to stick with you through thick and thin. Well personally, having one true friend is really a blessing.
Remember I've learnt something like this, to have good friends you have to be good friend yourself. Yup, i'm sure true friendships is a two way street, and both parties have to give and take. Thankfully, I have 2 buddies whom are really important to me and they are Andruew and Eugene. Haha, hanged around since primary school ya? Now though we are separated in terms of our schools, we still hang around(recently k box, etc). ps. in case you're wondering why on earth your name aint here, haha, lemme stress that you're beri dear to me too sam =x
Everybody do change over time, in terms of their thinking and ideals. So yup, guess that's one of the reason why.. relationships between lovers or friends fall apart. Kay moving on.. well today it's pretty alwight. Have to go for Outward Bound Singapore camp. Maan.. 5 days yeh noe? That pretty much taken up my September holidays. Oh deaaaaar, i'll miss you darn badly.
School's a bore, i'll shan't talk bout it. Hrmm, hung out with sam after school. Was thinking of getting a diary each and the starting package of Ragnarok Online. Yeap, we were kinda attracted to the new wedding system, sho yup.. no matter what the distance, we can still keep in touch via this game hopefully. That's the main reason why i choose to play it. Sakura Romance! (btw, if anybody do play tis game, do drop a note over at shout box. )
Haha, the diary's for us to perhaps.. voice out how we feel bout our time spent together, what makes us happy what went wrong etc. This will hopefully improve our communication etc(and english), some things are better left said in words. yeah, i'm taking this relationship seriously =x gotta gear up for the future ahead.
then sent sam for her saxophone lesson. So me just sat at the void deck waiting for her. Man.. i wish i had the same musical talent as her, I even have difficulty playing recorder and she's playing tenor(soprano too) saxophone! man, im lousy. Played tamagotchi, was so afraid of people walking past and stay rooted to the ground after seeing a 15 year old guy playing it. two tamagotchi summore!(oh and i wanna complain bout my tamagotchi for not evolving yet!!!) omg. and i fell asleep a while later.
IT was heavy. The tenor saxophone, heard it cost roughly 8000 bucks. had to carry it with extra care. it was funny though, haha. Yeap that's about all i guess. Hoping to update more stuff tomolo. Takaires all.
-you make my day so much brighter-
*true friends*
How many actually have them? those friends that will never betray you and whom will choose to stick with you through thick and thin. Well personally, having one true friend is really a blessing.
Remember I've learnt something like this, to have good friends you have to be good friend yourself. Yup, i'm sure true friendships is a two way street, and both parties have to give and take. Thankfully, I have 2 buddies whom are really important to me and they are Andruew and Eugene. Haha, hanged around since primary school ya? Now though we are separated in terms of our schools, we still hang around(recently k box, etc). ps. in case you're wondering why on earth your�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������
How many actually have them? those friends that will never betray you and whom will choose to stick with you through thick and thin. Well personally, having one true friend is really a blessing.
Remember I've learnt something like this, to have good friends you have to be good friend yourself. Yup, i'm sure true friendships is a two way street, and both parties have to give and take. Thankfully, I have 2 buddies whom are really important to me and they are Andruew and Eugene. Haha, hanged around since primary school ya? Now though we are separated in terms of our schools, we still hang around(recently k box, etc). ps. in case you're wondering why on earth your�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������
Monday, August 09, 2004
*my fault my fault*
Sigh.. feeling real down at the moment. Just feel sho lonely suddenly, so suddenly that ive dragged in my other sad memories into.
Ive been a failure eh? think me will never be a good leader, or a particular guy whom others can call a good friend. I've mixed up my right and wrong, black and white , everything is gray now. I'm not sure what to do exactly, who to hang out with, i cant find back the feeling of being accepted by a group of friends.
Renewal. I miss that game sho darn badly, it was the very first game that i grew so emotionally attached to. I don't mind being alone in school or being outcasted in school.. as long i have this game to vent out my feelings on.
Yeh all must be laughing at my foolishness... but hey! It is the place where i met friends whom actually care and great friends material. Even juz by logging in, several "hi"s are there and they just make me feel so comfortable. Still remember the guild i was in, Tool's R us. the ultimate craftsman guild of NightShadow server.
God damn the freaking lousy company that hosted Renewal. Omg, the high pricing, the lousy GMs and technicians that allowed multiple hacks to happen. All these amounted, and resulted in the eventual downfall of e game.
So yeap, all of us, hardcore gamers have to find another game to spend time on, so that pretty much separated all of us. I ended up in Ragnarok Online. Didnt last long anyway, my interest in it dwindled somehow. I shall not commit the mistake again.. forsaking someone I used to love.
Alright, im not trying to act pitiful whatsoever. Just wanna vent it out with this blog. And perhaps it's my fault as well.. i'm not sure either. Ah heck, freak this life of mine.
-a place in your heart-
Sigh.. feeling real down at the moment. Just feel sho lonely suddenly, so suddenly that ive dragged in my other sad memories into.
Ive been a failure eh? think me will never be a good leader, or a particular guy whom others can call a good friend. I've mixed up my right and wrong, black and white , everything is gray now. I'm not sure what to do exactly, who to hang out with, i cant find back the feeling of being accepted by a group of friends.
Renewal. I miss that game sho darn badly, it was the very first game that i grew so emotionally attached to. I don't mind being alone in school or being outcasted in school.. as long i have this game to vent out my feelings on.
Yeh all must be laughing at my foolishness... but hey! It is the place where i met friends whom actually care and great friends material. Even juz by logging in, several "hi"s are there and they just make me feel so comfortable. Still remember the guild i was in, Tool's R us. the ultimate craftsman guild of NightShadow server.
God damn the freaking lousy company that hosted Renewal. Omg, the high pricing, the lousy GMs and technicians that allowed multiple hacks to happen. All these amounted, and resulted in the eventual downfall of e game.
So yeap, all of us, hardcore gamers have to find another game to spend time on, so that pretty much separated all of us. I ended up in Ragnarok Online. Didnt last long anyway, my interest in it dwindled somehow. I shall not commit the mistake again.. forsaking someone I used to love.
Alright, im not trying to act pitiful whatsoever. Just wanna vent it out with this blog. And perhaps it's my fault as well.. i'm not sure either. Ah heck, freak this life of mine.
-a place in your heart-
*my fault my fault*
Sigh.. feeling real down at the moment. Just feel sho lonely suddenly, so suddenly that ive dragged in my other sad memories into.
Ive been a failure eh? think me will never be a good leader, or a particular guy whom others can call a good friend. I've mixed up my right and wrong, black and white , everything is gray now. I'm not sure what to do exactly, who to hang out with, i cant find back the feeling of being accepted by a group of friends.
Renewal. I miss that game sho darn badly, it was the very first game that i grew so emotionally attached to. I don't mind being alone in school or being outcasted in school.. as long i have this game to vent out my feelings on.
Yeh all must be laughing at my foolishness... but hey! It is the place where i met friends whom actually care and great friends material. Even juz by logging in, several "hi"s are there and they just make me feel so comfortable. Still remember the guild i was in, Tool's R us. the ultimate craftsman guild of NightShadow server.
God damn the freaking lousy company that hosted Renewal. Omg, the high pricing, the lousy GMs and technicians that allowed multiple hacks to happen. All these amounted, and resulted in the eventual downfall of e game.
So yeap, all of us, hardcore gamers have to find another game to spend time on, so that pretty much separated all of us. I ended up in Ragnarok Online. Didnt last long anyway, my interest in it dwindled somehow. I shall not commit the mistake again.. forsaking someone I used to love.
Alright, im not trying to act pitiful whatsoever. Just wanna vent it out with this blog. And perhaps it's my fault as well.. i'm not sure either. Ah heck, freak this life of mine.
-a place in your heart-
Sigh.. feeling real down at the moment. Just feel sho lonely suddenly, so suddenly that ive dragged in my other sad memories into.
Ive been a failure eh? think me will never be a good leader, or a particular guy whom others can call a good friend. I've mixed up my right and wrong, black and white , everything is gray now. I'm not sure what to do exactly, who to hang out with, i cant find back the feeling of being accepted by a group of friends.
Renewal. I miss that game sho darn badly, it was the very first game that i grew so emotionally attached to. I don't mind being alone in school or being outcasted in school.. as long i have this game to vent out my feelings on.
Yeh all must be laughing at my foolishness... but hey! It is the place where i met friends whom actually care and great friends material. Even juz by logging in, several "hi"s are there and they just make me feel so comfortable. Still remember the guild i was in, Tool's R us. the ultimate craftsman guild of NightShadow server.
God damn the freaking lousy company that hosted Renewal. Omg, the high pricing, the lousy GMs and technicians that allowed multiple hacks to happen. All these amounted, and resulted in the eventual downfall of e game.
So yeap, all of us, hardcore gamers have to find another game to spend time on, so that pretty much separated all of us. I ended up in Ragnarok Online. Didnt last long anyway, my interest in it dwindled somehow. I shall not commit the mistake again.. forsaking someone I used to love.
Alright, im not trying to act pitiful whatsoever. Just wanna vent it out with this blog. And perhaps it's my fault as well.. i'm not sure either. Ah heck, freak this life of mine.
-a place in your heart-
*one night stand*
Alright, I'm just trying to be funny. Went to stay over at Andruew's(nothing's wrong wib my spelling, i donno why dere's a U dere =x) house.
KIes, sho wadded happen yesterday? Met up with sam to depart for City Hall via MRT. Haha, pardon my lameness, played tamagotchi with her, make friends etc. We intend to make both our tamagotchi lovers too. =x Oh ya, my tamagotchi's name PuPu and her's Sam. Hahaha, i'm so kiddy.
Then parted with her upon reaching City Hall, went on to dhoby ghaut to meet up with Andruew and Eugene. Haha it was hilarious man, seeing Andruew get fed up with some small kids playing Counter Strike.. lool.
Here comes the best part of the night, went to sing or rather scream at K Box. Man.. it was awesome, haha first time ive sang karaoke. Thank goodness andruew and eugene can tahan my singing. Hahaha, simply love Right here waiting(ps: i thought of you when i sang =x) and Pen You.
So yup, finally went to his house and played games. Hahaha, there's this X box game named Celebrity death match, darned sadistic. Imagine seeing justin timberlake without legs. Haha.
That's bout it. No mood to update. I'll update more latar i guess.
Alright, I'm just trying to be funny. Went to stay over at Andruew's(nothing's wrong wib my spelling, i donno why dere's a U dere =x) house.
KIes, sho wadded happen yesterday? Met up with sam to depart for City Hall via MRT. Haha, pardon my lameness, played tamagotchi with her, make friends etc. We intend to make both our tamagotchi lovers too. =x Oh ya, my tamagotchi's name PuPu and her's Sam. Hahaha, i'm so kiddy.
Then parted with her upon reaching City Hall, went on to dhoby ghaut to meet up with Andruew and Eugene. Haha it was hilarious man, seeing Andruew get fed up with some small kids playing Counter Strike.. lool.
Here comes the best part of the night, went to sing or rather scream at K Box. Man.. it was awesome, haha first time ive sang karaoke. Thank goodness andruew and eugene can tahan my singing. Hahaha, simply love Right here waiting(ps: i thought of you when i sang =x) and Pen You.
So yup, finally went to his house and played games. Hahaha, there's this X box game named Celebrity death match, darned sadistic. Imagine seeing justin timberlake without legs. Haha.
That's bout it. No mood to update. I'll update more latar i guess.
Saturday, August 07, 2004
*changes always happen*
Time to do some revamping! haha, guess everybody probably sick and tired of my previous blog template. So here am i, proud to show you guys my new template for my blog! Alright, i didn't create it my own, but the minor details that needs to be changed took me pretty long >.<
Today's pretty fine. or rather boring. Did nothing but play gun bound throughout the day. Seems to me my friends are losing interest in it. Sigh.. it just ain't fun to resort playing with strangers. Ah well.. at least Samantha still plays it.
Does looks matter to people when they choose their significant other? well, i'm sure many people will say no. But I'm certain the truth is otherwise. Personally, I feel that physical attraction is important, at least you'll be interested in that person and thus find out more about him or her.
Think there's this quote, forgot how it goes exactly but the meaning is that beauty disappears as we age but the inner beauty in us always remain. That'll prove that our character etc. are much more important.
Wish i am more good looking, or at least give me the confidence to feel at ease when I look into the mirror. Alright i know that's cockbullshyt, I simply have low self esteem. What to do? what to do? Hope Mdm Jamillah ish right, looks don't really matter when we are older. Oh yeah another quote, you don't love a woman because she's beautiful, but she's beautiful because you love her. So let me take this opportunity to say how beautiful Samantha is. Well.. she's really beautiful , not juz because I love her.
Moving on, my temperament seems to be pretty weird nowadays. my mood swings are simply getting more frequent. Guess it's because of that.. that spending time wib me is a bore. *gets ready tons of plasters*
For what? for my heart. It might be broken again.. I'm not sure I do not know. Being heart broken really sucks and the pain is definitely worse than pure physical pain. Yet the more I want to prevent that from happening, the more I end up allowing it to happen. Ironic.
Time to do some revamping! haha, guess everybody probably sick and tired of my previous blog template. So here am i, proud to show you guys my new template for my blog! Alright, i didn't create it my own, but the minor details that needs to be changed took me pretty long >.<
Today's pretty fine. or rather boring. Did nothing but play gun bound throughout the day. Seems to me my friends are losing interest in it. Sigh.. it just ain't fun to resort playing with strangers. Ah well.. at least Samantha still plays it.
Does looks matter to people when they choose their significant other? well, i'm sure many people will say no. But I'm certain the truth is otherwise. Personally, I feel that physical attraction is important, at least you'll be interested in that person and thus find out more about him or her.
Think there's this quote, forgot how it goes exactly but the meaning is that beauty disappears as we age but the inner beauty in us always remain. That'll prove that our character etc. are much more important.
Wish i am more good looking, or at least give me the confidence to feel at ease when I look into the mirror. Alright i know that's cockbullshyt, I simply have low self esteem. What to do? what to do? Hope Mdm Jamillah ish right, looks don't really matter when we are older. Oh yeah another quote, you don't love a woman because she's beautiful, but she's beautiful because you love her. So let me take this opportunity to say how beautiful Samantha is. Well.. she's really beautiful , not juz because I love her.
Moving on, my temperament seems to be pretty weird nowadays. my mood swings are simply getting more frequent. Guess it's because of that.. that spending time wib me is a bore. *gets ready tons of plasters*
For what? for my heart. It might be broken again.. I'm not sure I do not know. Being heart broken really sucks and the pain is definitely worse than pure physical pain. Yet the more I want to prevent that from happening, the more I end up allowing it to happen. Ironic.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
*one more chance..*
Been super stressed. Had to go through one of the latest ending day today. Couldn't take in too much knowledge at one go. Social studies, PoA, and e maths, all of which my class learnt new things. Plus ive gotta do some last minute studying of Chemistry. Omggggggggggggg!
Napfa was alright. At least some thing for me to cheer about. Think i'll get gold with a score of 27. If i calculated correctly. Yay man! but...sit & reach almost got me silver. Aint that flexible.
Plus some problems which are pretty minor yet i chose to blow it up and got myself pissed off at myself. thankfully was given a chance to redeem myself. don't want silly misunderstandings to kill off my relationship. Time to buck up man, in both my private life and studies.
Anger is one letter short of Danger.
Been super stressed. Had to go through one of the latest ending day today. Couldn't take in too much knowledge at one go. Social studies, PoA, and e maths, all of which my class learnt new things. Plus ive gotta do some last minute studying of Chemistry. Omggggggggggggg!
Napfa was alright. At least some thing for me to cheer about. Think i'll get gold with a score of 27. If i calculated correctly. Yay man! but...sit & reach almost got me silver. Aint that flexible.
Plus some problems which are pretty minor yet i chose to blow it up and got myself pissed off at myself. thankfully was given a chance to redeem myself. don't want silly misunderstandings to kill off my relationship. Time to buck up man, in both my private life and studies.
Anger is one letter short of Danger.
Sunday, August 01, 2004
*ndp preview!*
Weehaaaaaaaaaa! Been a great day/night. Enjoyed myself throughly. Of coz, wouldnt have felt so without sam around =x (and she didnt wear the ring!! ahhhhhhhhh!!!) We wore white too, though the stadium was kinda filled up with red people.
Sho yeap, met up with her at TM to do some grocery shopping, in case we get hungry during the ndp preview. We kinda expected that we'll be hungry during the show. Especially me =x. Sho yeap, went down to ntuc and bought ourselves some chocolate and sandwiches.
Shortly after, reached the destination. My first reaction was "whoa!". din really expect so many people around, and we were actually running a little late, ahh... singaporeans eh? Shared the first time queuing up just to climb up an overhead bridge with sam btw =PpP (oh yeah, was so afraid to lose her along the way there, that i made darn sure that she's beside me all the time =x sigh, im possesive =P did the normal stuff, held her hand etc, hope you get what i mean =x)
Yeap the closer we were to the stadium, the greater the human tide got. (and the more possesive i gort =x and paranoid too, was afraid she'll faint coz of the massive crowd. =P) Then she gave up her dear bag for security checks. One thing i noted ish that, no one can touch her bag, not even me. hahaha. (annnd hey! let me carry the bag for u next time ! )
Took the goody bag, it was great man. And i was pretty surprised she never drank isport before. and kept asking me how does it taste like. Cutie pie eh =x kay anyways, the goody bag's was indeed goody. Had loads of stuff in it, mostly drinks though. annnd some sort of handfone a.k.a torch light. pretty unique. and she thought its real. hahas.
Got to our seats, had a pretty good view of the parade. Moi ate the food up almost immediately. (heeey don sit up sho straight can? make me feel sho short only =x) Felt so singaporean today, switched my converse cap for the singapore-coloured cap that came along wib the goody bag. and wave the flag retardedly. but its because of the spirit within the stadium that made me hyper.
Then took a little picture. Here's the soldiers.
The rest of the show was superb. And the farni part were the replacements for the President etc. Wonder why ngee ann din take part in the parade. (it'll be nice if i could dance on the stage with her =x if don mind tt is)
Moving on towards the end of the show, the fireworks!! same, first time catching fireworks with a gal. here goes:
It's really great don you think? sharing this particular moment in time with someone you truly enjoy being with. sharing the joy of the nation together with her. sharing my "first times" with the same gal today. And her name ish Samantha. I repeat Samantha. =)
(dear, it's really an awesome day today. Hope u enjoyed urself today as well. i'm not sure if the future will allow us to share such a joyous moment again, but whatever happens, always remember this particular moment alwights? of cus, the 100th day one as well. =x Coz it'll remain in my heart forever. Lurve yeh ^.^)
and may the ring bind us together... itsumo.
Weehaaaaaaaaaa! Been a great day/night. Enjoyed myself throughly. Of coz, wouldnt have felt so without sam around =x (and she didnt wear the ring!! ahhhhhhhhh!!!) We wore white too, though the stadium was kinda filled up with red people.
Sho yeap, met up with her at TM to do some grocery shopping, in case we get hungry during the ndp preview. We kinda expected that we'll be hungry during the show. Especially me =x. Sho yeap, went down to ntuc and bought ourselves some chocolate and sandwiches.
Shortly after, reached the destination. My first reaction was "whoa!". din really expect so many people around, and we were actually running a little late, ahh... singaporeans eh? Shared the first time queuing up just to climb up an overhead bridge with sam btw =PpP (oh yeah, was so afraid to lose her along the way there, that i made darn sure that she's beside me all the time =x sigh, im possesive =P did the normal stuff, held her hand etc, hope you get what i mean =x)
Yeap the closer we were to the stadium, the greater the human tide got. (and the more possesive i gort =x and paranoid too, was afraid she'll faint coz of the massive crowd. =P) Then she gave up her dear bag for security checks. One thing i noted ish that, no one can touch her bag, not even me. hahaha. (annnd hey! let me carry the bag for u next time ! )
Took the goody bag, it was great man. And i was pretty surprised she never drank isport before. and kept asking me how does it taste like. Cutie pie eh =x kay anyways, the goody bag's was indeed goody. Had loads of stuff in it, mostly drinks though. annnd some sort of handfone a.k.a torch light. pretty unique. and she thought its real. hahas.
Got to our seats, had a pretty good view of the parade. Moi ate the food up almost immediately. (heeey don sit up sho straight can? make me feel sho short only =x) Felt so singaporean today, switched my converse cap for the singapore-coloured cap that came along wib the goody bag. and wave the flag retardedly. but its because of the spirit within the stadium that made me hyper.
Then took a little picture. Here's the soldiers.
The rest of the show was superb. And the farni part were the replacements for the President etc. Wonder why ngee ann din take part in the parade. (it'll be nice if i could dance on the stage with her =x if don mind tt is)
Moving on towards the end of the show, the fireworks!! same, first time catching fireworks with a gal. here goes:
It's really great don you think? sharing this particular moment in time with someone you truly enjoy being with. sharing the joy of the nation together with her. sharing my "first times" with the same gal today. And her name ish Samantha. I repeat Samantha. =)
(dear, it's really an awesome day today. Hope u enjoyed urself today as well. i'm not sure if the future will allow us to share such a joyous moment again, but whatever happens, always remember this particular moment alwights? of cus, the 100th day one as well. =x Coz it'll remain in my heart forever. Lurve yeh ^.^)
and may the ring bind us together... itsumo.
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