*i'm lost*

It has been tiring. 16 years of walking down the seemingly never ending path. Not exactly path really, more like a giant road that has near infinite amount of fork roads. However, nobody sane will bother to figure out the total number of ways, let alone take all the path. It's just impossible. Time's not a constant.

I hate walking alone, though it had happened before, but some of the prominient figures i can remember are my parents, whom guided me when i was a quarter of my age. Sometimes i wish i can walk with them forever, be the young kid that cries whenever he wants anything, be it some toys or some affection. But no, things have to change, i have to move on.

There's something exceptionally strange about this road. the more you walk, the more you grow, learn and discover. From the land of baby toys, into a winding and narrow path of love. Confusing and misleading. Vines on the ground trip you, pricks on the side wall scars you, and a big giant hole that takes years to climb out of. The worst memories of my life was a result of me falling into the hole twice.

Dozens of helping hand could be seen at the end of the southwards tunnel that lost light. They helped me out, offered me help and made me get back on my feet. They are none other, my band of brothers, my trusted friends. Now onto the road of partying and gaming.

A strong gust of wind blew him aside. Into the most creepy of roads he ever seen. Thunders filled up the whole sky as he peered down at the awesome amount of forkroads right in front of him.

No more parents, lovers, friends to lead you. Now its on my own, my very own. What should i choose, where should i go, how will i end up like? Will I be proud on the day this path ends?

*A silent repent*

Five stars and still counting,
only after a thousand can the path reappear,
the notion of home, keeps him going,
yet the anguish, cost him a tear.

Thirteen stars served as a reminder,
a wicked mirror, a ruthless him
a battered ego, a surrender
crestfallen, he bowed down to jealousy

Now twenty eight, he tried to conceal,
his second nature, his second form
A shirk of terror, fulfilled his fear
despite what, he refused to conform

A hundred soon, nine such number to go
swept by darkness, he ain't gonna leave
till the sinister in him, starts to grow
into purest of pure, clarity white

And he's better off left in the darkness.

~~~

Ah what the heck. Just some thoughts of mine. Never ever let jealousy take control of you. Don't hide it, don't conceal it. Face it and eliminate it. I'm still learning how to do so.

*ine valent*

He sighed. The sight of his friend having a sunken heart beneath a big wide grin saddens him. Has love evolved into a painful experience instead? Perhaps love has just decided to give up on a selected few. and that includes him. he's all alone on valentine's day, for the 16th time.

Alrights, it wasnt that bad afterall. Just a rather cold empty feeling. but all he has to do to get rid of that mentally exhausting notion is to reaffirm his belief in staying in single. Freedom and friends are placed right at the top.

No point staying at home, listening to sappy love songs and groaning all day long. He figured out it might be better off spending time with friends, catching movie or something. Valentine's day is an internationally recognised friendship day afterall.

Deep down, he knew that a movie about romance ain't gonna work very well for him. thankfully the show's more a comedy than some chick flick, well whatever, he enjoyed the show.

Seeing couples was hurting. Somehow, he just somehow "imagined" that there's joyful angels above each and every couple's head. Two of them above each couple. One boy and a girl. The girl's holding two little hearts, and the boy cheekily aiming his cupid arrow right through both of them. Painfully sweet.

his walk home was depressing. Unwanted memories just reappeared in his mind uninvited. He tried, to defend himself from those hurting memories. Memories can really be some double edged sword. When you're in love, those memories are sweet, yet on the other hand, when you're out of love, the once-sweet memories haunt.

One of the memories was of a girl telling him that... "If you ever manage to catch a fallen leaf, make a wish, and it'll come true" A pity that the falling leaves were too far away, and way too short of the given time for him to react.. He contemplated going under a nearby tree, and not leave till he manage to catch one. It was probably fruitless tho, like love, it can't be forced. But given the opportunity, he would sincerely wish for love to be sweet and fulfilling for everyone.

Just few more hours to go, and all will be fine. A good night sleep will erase all that's hurting at the moment. And when the clock hits 12.00, he still has 364 days to make in time for next year's valentine day. will he? or will he not? he'll have to wait and see.

~~~

Happy Valentine's day all! And to all my pals, i love you all, and till death do us part baby =x (my blog's a year old btw =)

*dead man walking*

Deep in his mind, there's a blank. Nothing much more than the image of resting at home after one long day at work, savouring a nice can of beer and watching the week's soccer.

And all that separates him from his home sweet home is a road. A massive road indeed. And of course, its being made huge so as to accodomate the number of cars.
Whatever it is, "soccer" and "beer" stuck on in his mind.

Perhaps lady luck finally chose to smile on him that day. The road was surprisingly empty. He turned his head towards right, then went on to survey the left. "Whoa, why issit empty?" he questioned himself. Normally, it'll be so jam packed that he'll have difficulty crossing. Nevertheless, the soccer beer thing lingered on.

He took the very first step, with impatience. Apparently, he's a huge fan of soccer and his favourtie team is playing against of all teams, Chelsea. "Darn, i need to be there so that Liverpool will win tonight"

The road suddenly seem to be neverending then, he decided to quicken his steps, and eventually he ran in the direction of his home. It is only then he got shockly knocked down, back on earth.

The car honked incredily loud and hurting. Little did he know the car was swerving in at top speed. With a second left to do anything else, he chose to stay still, rooted to the ground.

~~~~~

Bla bla bla, just some thoughts.

*in the still of the night*

It isn't love when you just strive to be happy in a relationship, it's called investing.

Guess there's many ways you can interpret such a line. And what i feel is that, many people break up due to this investment crap. Of course, who doesnt want to feel happy? And what's the point of being together with someone when it hurts?

I beg to differ. Love isnt all about being happy. Love means going through ups and downs together with ur significant other, then to leave them behind when things become tougher or stressful.

whatever.. just a thought when I was spring cleaing my home. i'm never gonna let my future wife(if i find one, that is) to be some housewife. It's way too difficult.

This I Promise You

When the visions around you,
brings tears to your eyes,
and all that surrounds you
are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength
I'll give you hope,
keeping your faith when its gone
the one you should call
was standing here all along...

And I will take,
you in my arms
and hold you right
where you belong..
Till the day my life is through
this I promise you
this I promise you..

*a great fall*

Taking a break out of maple right now i guess. *curses* I died because i wanted to accompany(by chatting) a good friend of mine whom cant play maplestory due to some computer errors. Guess my luck's pretty wretched today.

Anyways, who the hell invented tis notion called luck? This concept that i sppose most people believe in. Maybe its just something people can use to explain or blame. For eg. u succeeded in ur buisness, people explain it by saying its pure luck, or on the other hand, some birds targetted their droppings at your head, and you'll prolly blame it on bad luck. whatever it is, its a good thing, allowing humans to take advantage of.

I feel so wretched right now. Aaargh. And i'm like wishing for someone to come and bother to ask why i'm feeling so. But i guess, everybody do have their own problems too.. but it wont hurt sparing a listening ear ya? whatever.

So i guess. Sometimes you've just gotta make it out on ur own. what happen if you're stranded on a island, alone? what can you do? none other than to rely on yourself to get yourself out.

i wish i can just say i like you out loud. hoping you'll say back the same thing. thing is, i'm too weak a man to do so.