it's the only way out

Sometimes life just doesn't go smoothly as one would like to. Things may not go according to your favour nor will things be the way you want them to be. And you sit in a corner and ponder, what on earth should i do?

Perhaps taking a step back and having a bigger view will be a wise thing to do, instead of looking at things with a narrow mind. Problems are smaller and more manageable when you look at it with a more open-minded view. It gets tempting to start thinking narrow-mindedly but you just have to resist.

Taking this step back is not easy. For i am taking it now. Maybe tomorrow i'll lose all my determination and start thinking narrow-mindedly. But whatever it is...it's the only way out.

...and i dont wish to be trapped

at a loss

Man, i'm having a dilemna right now. So what is it that's bothering me? That is none other than money, the root source of evil.

It's virtually impossible to find someone who hate having more money in their pockets. Except for those monks, i'm sure most people would even love to die rich. Seriously yea, i've got to admit, there's so many things i would love to have, but i just don't have enough money to buy them all. =/ Poly school term is coming soon, i need update my wardrobe man. It's getting trashy.

And now there's a job placed right in front of me. But i'm actually reluctant to take it. I wish when i wake up tomorrow, i'll have the answer in my head. To take the job or not.

-----

Watched Final Destination 3 today. Or rather yesterday. Man, all i can say it has a stupid storyline, you're just simply gonna watch people die gruesomely. Maybe i'm really psychotic, but it's really hilarious to see the way they die. Especially this guy who kept deluding himself that death will never strike him. Well, it didnt strike him. It squashed him instead via the means of a tower collapsing on him. And when i say squashed, you really get to see him squashed. Hahahaha.

Other than that, i had a great day going out with her. She got herself a job(again!!!!), but well i can't be selfish can i? It's good that she can earn even more money to pamper herself and look even more beautiful. This is called a long term goal. =x Or investment. (im kidding btw =D). Seriously.. saying goodbye to her is really hard for I don't get to see her very often. May both of us get into the same class in poly!

Well. Didn't really expect i'll say so much. Oh by the way, here's some mission for those who still actually read my blog. Please leave a message in my tagboard. Wondering who you guys are.


Fancy some cash? Get me his head and $1000 is yours!

a wall

I myself was wondering how long will it last. The wall that i've built around my fragile self. The wall that has been helping me block out all sorts of negative thoughts and neediness. And today..the wall is showing signs of crumbling. And i can't seem to stop it.

It sure feels really weird. It's like deja vu. History is beginning to unfold right in front of my eyes for the 2nd time again. I'm like in front of a crossroad; and only one path is the right one. I've taken the wrong one before, and it seems like i'm taking the same path again. I don't want to.. but i can't help it.

Guess i'll just have to see how it goes. I'll just have to run around and make sure the wall that i've erected does not crumble. I'll just have to stick to the right path. I'll just have to live my life. And i'll just have to try my hardest. Make it or break it. Do or die. Now or never.

I hate it when i'll have to say goodbye to you.

metamorphosis

I finally realised what sets the Men and the Boys apart. Real men are sexually confident whereas those wussie boys are those who are needy.. insecure.. desperate.. obsessive and possessive.

And sad to say, I've got no choice but to admit that i belong to the boys. I've tried changing. Once bitten twice shy. In fact, i've got bitten twice. And maybe after being bitten twice, i've grown thicker skin, so much so that i'm repeating it the third time round.

But this time its special. I'm finally acknowledging that i've got a problem. And its pretty unfortunate that its my character wise that i've got a problem. Anyway, can it be remedied?

I can only try. So here are some guidelines i've made:

-Life does not revolve around her. You have your friends, your family, your games, your interest in soccer, guitar, there's simply so many more things to life.

-Sticking to her all the time will suffocate her. If you don't want to lose her, that's the only way.

-If things are meant to be, things will work out eventually.

-Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Give each other some breathing space.

-Girls hate wusses.

-They love men.


Ack. So i guess i've gotta stop being myself. But i see no other way out. My emotions are getting drained. It's now or never. I love advising people, time for me to advise myself. =)

-7 times. still counting.-

a quiet comeback

Sure feels weird to be back here. Been ages since ive written(typed) any long stories. I bet im gonna have even more grammatical errors now. Afterall, my previous entry was on 12th of november. Whoa.. time flies doesnt it.

And of coz, within these few months, tons of stuff happened. In short, i've slogged my life away over at hang ten, got myself a fabulous girlfriend in ker hui, and now awaiting for my o level results, which is only 2 days away from now.

I'm 17 now too. And ironically, i don't feel 17 at all. i don't feel as though i've grown. i still feel as though i'm the same old me. But yeah, i've probably changed.. only that i don't seem to notice it.

I've made another realization as well. It's only when i'm emotional that i'll feel the need to write, or rather, to vent out all my emotions. Bottling up my feelings is a torture. If only i had a mentor to guide me..

~*~*~*~*