*in a different timezone*

Feeling pretty dazed at the moment. I just slept for like around 16 hours. Prolly to make up for only sleeping 5-6 hrs the entire week. But taking it all in one day is pretty extreme for me. Ahh.. the after effects is killing mee. Wonder what i missed last night..?

Man, regretted quitting ragnarok online. Now then i realise alort of ppl been playing it. my friends etc. Well well.. let me continue my search for nicer games.

Oh yea, just completed final fantasy 8 recently. I must say it's a great game, replayed it coz i completed  the game like around.. 5 years ago? Pretty much forgotten everything, but now the fantasy , romance, everything is deep in my head. once again. ahh... Squall and Rinoa.

*the fear of losing you is overwhelming me* 

*take it easy will you*

Hrmm, i suppose that's what all my teammates will tell me right after the soccer match. Chose to walk away though.. just pretty upset over the loss.

Yup, played a match today.. a match that all of us thought we could win, yet we lost terribly. Answers anyone?

Perhaps its because i fail to bring up the morale of our team. Yes i admit, it was my fault that i had to shout off my head at every single mistake. I've been through that, being shouted for a careless mistake. It doesn't feel nice at all, and i end up playing, discouraged.

So why am i doing that to my own teammates? Perhaps I expect too much from them, all of us will get tired somehow and lose concentration , thus making mistakes. Or maybe, it's because of my desire to win. So strong that i got involved in this match so seriously and totally forgot my aim in playing soccer. My aim is to have fun, have something to cheer about, seeing my teammates cheering away and destress from the hectic school life.

I'm a rather simple person. I do things that have some sort of an aim. Be it doing the silly chinese corrections or some punishment which requires intensive writing, I tell myself that "hey! you can improve your handwriting", and so on. Yet i totally ignored the aim i have today.. argh.

This saturday, there will be a match again, against some tougher opponents i sppose. Time to redeem myself peeps!

ps: hey hey, thanks for being there for me and waiting patiently for my soccer match to end. Really appreciate it alortx. I'll pay back ten fold or hundred fold, ah wadeva =x thankew dear =P

*the desire to achieve*

Hrmm yeap. Guess that's the motto i gave during the SSC(Senior Specialists Course) interview. Well, guess it's because of the super duper stiff competition for the 5 slots.

Thankfully, I made it to the shortlisted cadets for this course. Yeah, with tis course, you'll gain a Staff Sgt rank at least. Anyways to me, rank ish nothing, it is the posting that matters the most.

Had the first training with the other top 9 today. Oh yeah, 10 people were shortlisted. Pretty nervous, and you can see it in all of our faces. Thankfully, the selection is held over several weeks.

However, the problem is that you habta really be a commander and a smart alec at times. So, it'll be inevitable to offend someone. What's more, it'll be like a boot camp. After every training, one cadet will be booted out of the shortlisted 10, till 5 remains.

Pretty challenging eh? Guess it'll be a test on how much every single one of us desire the place in SSC. Had a kinda good head start today, selected as one of the five member in the "Training commitee" It's either I do well or I get kicked out. I know I have the capability to do it. I can, I will, I must.

Anyways back to my life excluding ncc. to hastmana: eh eh eh, you better take the greatest care of yourself alwights? seriously it pains me to see you suffering in pain. to put it simply, its breaking me apart >.<~~ Why..? coz i need you dearie dear dear =x

Kay, time to report to her =x *dials number*

ps: Happy thrEE mOnth!! *91 days*

*an unexpected test*

Uh huh , nono, not one that tests me on my knowledge of all the silly subjects. a one that i can pass if i hang on, and one i'll fail should i break down. a test of my endurance.

Been a stressful week for me, with the piles of homework coming in at super high speeds before i even have any chance clearing them. Perhaps a lil exaggerating, but whatever it is, it's a great deal.

I'll survive this. I know that if i continuing running away from all these , things will never get done, and instead i'll be done for. Sooner or later, i'll reach a dead end on this one way street. I'll shall face it.. and i'll rise up to the challenge. *motivated*

well as for my personal life, been kinda stormy. The stress made me pretty hot tempered, short fused, petty... etc. at least i learnt that, the past is the past. what matters is the present. Why let the ugly past affect the possibly beautiful future? perhaps i should place "better to loved and lost than to never love at all" near my heart. This way, I'll feel better.

Wrote a personal account of my memories today. Maybe i'll type it all out next time round. Memories that i'll remember for life..

Upcoming events! Going to this Zhou Chuan Xiong concert with Sam later on. Weeheee cant wait~! And tomorrow, teaching the concert band stationary drills. Woohoo sweet. Tomorrow night, possibly watching spidey man 2. (yea i noe im lagging) weehaaaaaaaa!

*happy man*

Ahh.. I feel so elated at the moment. Really glad that I get to meet Samantha. =x Pardon me, but today's entry will be on what happened between both of us(families too). =PpP

Well, it all began when Sam's parents decided to have dinner at a food court near my house. Hahaha, decided to act that we do not know each other so as to allow me to meet her parents. (Or rather, meet her parents from afar =x)

Armed with today's newpaper and a newly bought 8 days magazine, decided to find a seat near her family. Oh yeah, and i stupidly walked past her two times in a row before I actually found out where were they =x

Hahaha, so there i was, seated alone with a really huge table in front of me. Yeah felt a little awkward but just couldnt help smiling =x So near yet so far indeed, had to converse via SMS.

Had a fairly good look on how they look like. Hope to learn how to "siam" them should i spot them in the future. Not ready to be questioned heavily yet, hehehe =x

Met her up later on, chatted a while before my dad and sis "bumped" into us. (hey, thanks alort for walking all the way from TM to meet me =x) Decided to run away immediately, until sam suggested we follow my dad and sis so as greet them. (yeah i was shocked she actually wanted to do that)

Nevertheless, she chose to chicken out at the very last minute =x Hid behind me after a soft "hi" =x hahaha, when we about to part from my dad and sis, it was a soft "bye". hahaha, and she was so worried that she left a bad impression. Whoa man, a cutie pie pie =x

As for my dad, hahaha, he was pretty embarrassed too. this particular moment will always remain in my mind. thanks for allowing it to happen. :)

(p.s i will hold on to e promise as long as possible. lurve you sam. =P)

*NCC day*

*applause* Here i'm at it again. Rather update this webby of mine than to do my homework =x Yeap, had NCC day today.

Reported at roughly 6.45am. Wore jockey cap today, terrible case of the cap being bigger than the head. Performed an uniform inspection before proceeding for the ceremony.

The difficulties being a parade commander pretty much was seen today. Unfortunately, Hakim had to taste the brunt of it. Guess he simply broke down and yup he forgotten the National Pledge. My heart goes out to him but he managed to earn my respect by actually staying strong and continued with the parade. Yup, that pretty much conclude the NCC day. Oh yeah, saluting the flag throughout the whole Anthem is pretty tough too.

Time flies, come to think of it, I'm already a Secondary 3 student. And went through 2 NCC day before, including this, 3. Just don't feel quite right. Seems that it is just a while ago I was in the AVA room as a Part A cadet, listening to the teacher in charge making speeches and witnessing the promotion of seniors. Everybody has to adapt to changes, time waits for no one, right?

Lessons went on as usual, except that I'm in No.4 uniform throughout. Couldn't play soccer so just chose to remain in class the whole day. Lessons sucks =x

Just watched A Child's Hope 2 juz now. Every Monday to Friday, 9 pm Channel 8. *promoting* Nice show, emotion triggering. Do make time for it, for it wun fail to bring out the sensitive side of all of us.

Soccer match tomorrow, hope all goes well, no rain no nothing. Against 3e3, wish me luck. Oh yea, my SS homework is still undone. Good nite all.