the rule of reciprocation*

I realised after 2 months studying over at Temasek Polytechnic, I haven't blog about my experiences even once. Seems really bad considering this blog of mine is serving as a way to keep my memories. I guess it'll be really interesting reading them 10 years later.

It was awesome that I got into the same course as Ker Hui. But that was it. I was hoping that Cupid Angel will place us into the same class. Imagine being able to see each other, have lunch together, and go home together everyday. However, Cupid Angel has other plans for us. Perhaps it's even a test for me. A test of my character. Anyway.. even lovers need some time away, far away, from each other.

Cupid Angel may choose to ignore my wish, but Lady Luck took its place. So she placed one of my closest friends, Tat Yi, in the same class as me. And together with some fabulous classmates of mine, all with colourful personalities.

Of course, being me, i'm never satisfied. Well i wished there were more guys. What's the point of having so many girls in my class? (fyi, its 20 girls to 6 guys). With that, i'm reduced to playing soccer only once a week. Yeah, a rather drastic change from almost everyday in my secondary school days.

And thankfully, i didn't have much difficulty being part of a wonderful clique. 4 guys 4 girls. Jimmy and Han Lin make good friends and the four girls are really friendly and amiable in their own ways. But somehow i felt.. i didn't belong.

I'm never comfortable being around girls, as a matter of fact. Guess it's just my innate nature to be shy around girls. And also with my commitment with Ker Hui, I felt that i should't get too close to any other girls. It's probably because I don't want to see the same thing happening to me. She, being close to some other guy.

It might happen someday. I don't know. And I dare not think so much. Or maybe i'm just being too serious in this relationship. Of course.. I can push everything to "If things are meant to be, then it'll be".

If only it's that easy.

a revisit

Hello blog. It's been ages since i last posted. I'm sorry i've neglected you. And i'm sorry for only blogging whenever i'm not happy. But i could use some space to vent out my feelings. Type it all out. And get on with life.

After so long.. I realised I am still me. Yeah, the one who has this tendency to turn simple thoughts into extremely complex ones. In a negative way that is. And its not uplifting at all. In fact. i'm very badly affected indeed. And it has a major role to play in the break up of my previous 2 relationships.

1st was crap. I don't want to be reminded by it. But it was the 2nd that i kinda regretted. All was seemingly well. Until this bad habit of mine destroyed everything. And now, its threatening me to spill everything out.

Spill what out? Those complex thoughts that i have. Ridiculous thoughts. And i know once i say them out, things will be different. And it will definitely lead to the same outcome. A break up.

I don't know what to do. Let's just see how long i can take it.

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I watched Superman today with my pals today. Great show. But it's a pretty predictable storyline. Good guys will always truimph over the bad asses. X men was better though in my opinion.

For those who watched, remember the guy named Richard? Yeah that guy who's vying with Superman for Lois Lane affection. I guess in the end he won. Make no mistake, both of them love the girl pretty deeply.

How the hell did he win? He can't fly, he doesn't have super strength, he doesn't have much abilities to save her. I kinda feel like I'm him. I don't feel as though im the best guy around. Or maybe i'm just not confident. There are other guys out there who are much better..

Ah. Rooney got sent off. Oh England, you're in deep shit.