graduation

Maaan.. it's been ages since i updated. Yaya i know, i'm fully aware of it. What to do? i've been busying lately. Busy with what? Nonsensical stuff. Anyways, i'm back to update again.

Today's the graduation day. Maybe it's because i know i'm gonna see my classmates for next few weeks or so, and that pretty much caused me to feel void and emotionless. They should really place the graduation day after the O's. Then it'll be meaningful. What to do? Life seldom go the way u want it to go.

Nevertheless, it was pretty power packed. I love the presentations. Yeap, all the graduating classes. Rather touching i have to say. Especially the one the teachers made(i think its them). Sure making me feel nostalgic.

4 years. It's been real quick man, the way time passed us by. From a goody 2 shoes secondary 1 boy, to a larger and bigger goody 2 shoes secondary 4 guy. Guess one day i'll gather all my friends, then we'll spend the day by reminiscing about the past. At the moment, i kinda forgot everything.

I've grown, in ways that i hope is for the better. Well.. I reckon i've matured a great deal over the years. I have had alot of new experiences during this lengthy yet short period of time. Say falling in love, understanding people better etc. Hopefully it serves me well in the future. God knows what the future has, that's in store for us.

Of course, to all my fellow pals out there, the O's are here. All of us know that, yet many of us still choose to procrastinate instead of taking real action. I know, that includes me as well. Next week onwards, i'm gonna be a typical bookworm.

And i guess that is all..

The falling leaves.. the cold breeze.. the cries of a child.. filled me iith emotions way beyond my comprehension. Way too real.. way too heart breaking.

im all blank

Oh man! I had so much to write about when i was on my home. Now that i'm actually putting words into this blog of mine, i cant think of anything. I feel so stupid at the moment man. haha.

Well, i just returned home after playing pool for a few hours. I swear pool, on your day, can make you superbly happy. But when you start missing every single shot, and the white ball seem to have a liking for the "hole", you'll feel super lousy. Ah. Rant rant rant.

Yea man. Was reading newpaper yesterday. And i read about the footballer Wayne Rooney. It's pretty weird that everybody seem to be siding his fiery temperament. Hello! He clapped sarcastically in front of the referee and you are saying he's not in wrong?!

Afterall, it's true that people like him perform better when their mood is fiery. But well.. not for me. For me, i'll have to stay calm and relaxed in order to do anything well. Be it soccer, pool or any other things that i do. And whenever i start to lose it, and sink into the "fire" mode. That's it, i'll start being foolish. I'll attempt to hurt players on the soccer field. Even if he's my friend at that very point of time. You are my opponent. You are my enemy.

Now i know that's pretty scary. I've changed. Or rather, i've been trying to change and i think i'm kinda improving. AT least i dont go crazy that often now. Yeah, i'm bad tempered.

**

Break ups. Well saw a guy on my home just now. He was on the fone and squatting by the pathway. Being curious, i kinda tried to overhear what he was talking about. (i'm sorry, i was way too curious) Though he was mumbling, i could figure out he was asking for a patch. And he kinda got rejected. A sad sight.

If you find that falling in love is the best thing that can happen to you, a break up or rather you being dumped is the complete opposite. All sorts of negative feelings will just appear out of nowhere. And trust me, they are gonna stick with you for quite some time. Been there, done that. I'm experienced. haha

And i figured out the way to let go! the way to enlightenment. and the way to buddha.(alwight that was lame) And now.. i hope i dont have to let go again. The signs are scary. Ominous signs. I shall let time to be the answer..

**

Army cheer. Suddenly just tot of putting it up

Purple light!
In the valley!
That is where,
I wanna be.
With my friends,
best companions
with my rifle and my buddies and me..

SOC! (standard obstacle course) Sibei jia lat!
Do PT (physical training) La gi worse!
Everyday, kenna tekan (punished)!
With my rifle and my buddies and me...

Booking out,
Saw my girlfriend,
Saw her with
Another man!
Heart broken,
back to army...
With my rifle, and my buddies and me...
(i love tis part)

Purple light!
At the war front.
that is where,
my body lies.
If i die,
would you...
bury me...
with my rifle and my buddies and me...!

WhOa, i'M feEling PatRiotic! I miss my NCC life.

I just can't help it. My desire to be with you is just like a flame. Burning brighter and brighter with each passing day. Even the rain, is not able to stop it. Only you... can.

*when death comes*

Alwights. I've been asked to blog by a special someone. And so i will. But man, my days recently have been pretty much boring. There's nothing much to blog about. But still...

Well you guys should know about all the news abt death. Say the katrina hurricane, the chopping up of body(freaky. imagine finding a bag and there's a severed head in it, what on earth will your reaction be man?). Both are the same thing. It all results in the loss of life. And it leads to so called after life.

Life's ironic i figured out. Those who want to die, usually got their attempt to commit suicide foiled. And whereas, those that have a bright future ahead of them, or those who want to live, has death come calling much earlier.

I really find those who committed suicide over silly reasons really stupid. There are so many people out there who's trying to find food everyday so as to survive yet these people just wanna end "their suffering" by ending their life. Ridiculous.

M1 still says it best. One life, live it. On a lighter note, my prelims are pretty much underway. Hopefully i don't do so badly that i'll get demoralised. Hope and pray.

That's about all. I'll think of more to blog while mapling... till then, ciaos.

I'm falling deeper and deeper everyday. Into the bottomless pit of love.

the end is here

Whoa man! The holidays are going to be over real soon. And it seems to me, this 1-week holiday has been speeding past faster than ever. And that's pretty frightening. It simply means the O levels are coming.

Well, i'm not exactly that frightened by O levels. At least not as much as my pals over at 4r1 4r2 respectively. Some peeps in 4r2 got A2 for chinese, and they still wanna retake! Insane people. (yeah i know i got b3 and i actually chose to retake. anyways, i'm really regretting. watch me get f9)

For the past few days, my morning has been missing. Been sleeping earliest at 1 am, and waking up early in the afternoon. Pretty sad, considering what i've been busy doing during my day was not studying, but gaming throughout. Maple story that is.

I must say it's really a fantastic game. My definition of fantastic? Allows the gamer to waste his life on it, and to believe that the game is reality, and his real world is virtual.

Like totally. I was looking at myself in the mirror(i seldom do that, just to clarify that i'm not self obsessed) Man i look like crap. Though i've been banging 12 hours of sleep regularly, but still, i looked really weary. And i wish to know why.

Now i'm back at the computer. Guess what i'm gonna do next? Yup, i'm going to maple as usual. Sigh.. i need a wake up call. Oh by the way it's my English paper tomorrow. I can forsee it's my first f9 that i'm gonna collect. Good luck to all taking their prelims.

It was a dream. Beautiful dream. That left me empty when i woke up. For i realised it was over. And the dream was about you.

when the cold wind blows..

Alrights, the clock's reading 3 am already. And i'm still up and awake, and seated right in front of my computer. My eyes are hurting, but still i shall make an entry to make up for yesterday.

It's nice to hear that people are asking me to update. But well, sometimes my mind just tend to go blank and i cant think of anything to post. Especially when all i did the whole day was to stay at home and play maple story. I know it's really really sad, but the other alternative is to study. Of course i'll choose the former.

I've got no idea how i'm gonna deal with my prelims. Guess i'll flunk every single subject. Okay! I shall force myself to put in a little effort to study later on. Hope you guys study at least a little as well.

That's all i guess. i'm feeling weary.

I hope i took the right step. Let me know if i did.

the irritant

Man, i feel irritating today. Haha, got this great desire to irritate people. Unfortunately, Woo Yang's the victim today.

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
wad care u doing now?

aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
wad care u doing now
(this is just the starting)

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
eh tiam la

aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
LOL

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
fuck u undersyand

aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
don undersyand
(doing well...)

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
eh u tiam la
| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
sweet chin u ar
| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
knn

aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
SCARY BODOH
(bwahahhaha)

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
u damn kiam pa sia
| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
better not let me see u next time

aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
me scareded

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
KNN CCB!
(signs that he cant take it no longer)
aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
bcc nnk

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
AAAAARRRRGGGGH
(he's suffering in pain)

aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
LOL

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
FUCK U UNDERSTAND?

aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
don understand

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
nb cb

Alwights it's kinda lame but anyways... here's the bonus part which ive got no idea how come he'll say such stuff...

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
i love u man
| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
espacially on the bed
| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
u can fuck me so hard!

That's about it. His typing skills is one of the worst ever. Good night.

topsy turvy

I had a major scare yesterday. Is it just me that whenever i lose things, i'll lose the thing that's most valuable on me. Or whatever that's not mine, that's shared in the family.

My mp3 went missing.(My dad loves to listen to the radio in the mp3, and my sis do bring it out sometimes) For rich people out there, it's not something worth worrying over i suppose. "Buy a new one la" they'll say in unison. But sadly, i'm not rich. I can't afford to lose things... that valuable.

After lan gaming, we headed out to get some fresh air, and eventually to get some dinner. Being me, i only look for things whenever i want to use it, and not look for it just for the sake of making sure it is there. (yeah thats why i tend to lose things ya?)

Anyways, i realised my mp3 was missing. Not in my pocket, my bag, everywhere! For the first time ever, my emotions had a 180 degree spin so fast. From a happy dude, waiting to get some high quality char kuay teow, to a small boy, when he realised his papa mama is missing.

I didnt bother to think where on Earth i left it. I just thought of the consequences immdiately. For its my 2nd time losing valuables while gaming, I can hardly fathom how my dad's gonna holler at me.

I realised i'm actually quite a pessimist. I actually planned how to get a new mp3 in time, instead of figuring out where i misplaced it. After all, what if someone picked it up? Finders keepers.

Thankfully, i have pals who are encouraging. They made me calm down, and think clearly.(To calm down at such a situation is no mean feat) When was the last time i used my mp3? Was it in the cab? Or at woo yang's house?

For the first time ever, woo yang suddenly had wings, turned fair and had the looks of an awesome angel. He was my only hope. My saviour that could lift me from hell to heaven. And yes he is. For his maid found my mp3 lying still on his couch.

I screamed for joy. Seriously. It's like virtually picking up 200 bucks on the floor. And another 180 degree spin of emotions again. Back to the happy dude again. One that's relieved that is.

At least material possesion, after losing it, there's still hope you'll find it. That's simply not the same for love. You lose it, that's it. Lost forever.

eleven eleven

Been a pretty exhausting weekend for me. Both physically and financially. kinda weird to use the word "financially", but nevertheless i spent loads of money this weekend. You see, it's been always a must to spend during chalets. The food is so outrageous..ly nice that you have to cook for yourself if you wanna eat. Well you know, i'm a guy whos not fond of being hardworking, and the end result? I was left starving.

Okay that aside, i would like to share with you guys a strange phenomenon that befell me pretty recently. Say probably 2 weeks ago till now i suppose. Alrights, i know this may sound absurd, but it kinda revolves around this 4 digit that I've been frequently seeing. And really, i do mean frequently. And these digits is none other than.... 1 1 1 1

No don't get me wrong, it's not that i aspire to be no.1 so much that i'm seeing it everywhere. It cant be possibly coincidence all the time either. It may be disbelieving but here is...

Some examples:

1)For almost every day, i repeat almost everday, i see this "1111" represented as 11.11pm on my trusty worthy 8250 mobile phone. For almost everyday i repeat! It's always just right on the spot, whether i'm checking sms or checking the time, i'll always get to see 11.11pm. Luck perhaps?

2)I kinda have a bottle with me in the house as well. Easy access to water you see. Somehow, i just tend to drink water alot. It's good isnt it? Anyways, i was so bored that i went to read the Ice Mountain bottle for a while. If you noticed, there will always be this set of numbers, for what for i'm not so sure, and for mine, it read V1111V. OH gawd.

3)Well just yesterday, yeap during the chalet, me and woo yang were playing pool, with nicholas watching us play. It almost went unnoticed until suddenly when woo yang was about to score his striped ball 11, then nicholas exclaimed..

"Look! There's two 11 balls. Hahaha, woo yang, foxy ball 11 to ball 11 lah!"

Left dumbfounded, its the four numbers 1111 again!

4)England vs Wales match! So hyped yet it turn out to be so freaking boring. Screw England, with their quality, they are supposed to perform so much better than just a 1-0 score.

Okay okay, it was oso this match i spotted 1111 again. At the end of the match, there's this two players(too stunned to remember the names), standing side by side,
one England one Wales, and guess what? Both of them are wearing jersey no. 11!

Perhaps i'm insane to think so much about this four digits. But to my close friends, i hope you guys know how i am interpreting this four digits. It's really too frequent for me to believe its just a mere coincidence. I tried to look for tose numbers intentionally, but no, it wont appear anymore. It's only when im most unguarded, then i'll see those numbers.

I'm sure i'll see more of it in the future, but i won't be able to do anything about it i guess. Moved on we have. End of story.

let fantasy be just fantasy

He glanced up lazily. Morning has left him and its been an hour or two in the afternoon. The ceiling never looked so dull before. And before he know it, he's in for a emotional ride.

The first thing he did was simply reach out for his handphone lying just beside him. He took it and browsed through, hoping to see her msg somewhere. And of course, disappointment filled him up gradually. And no way can he deny it, that he's falling in love with her.

The soft-pouring rain never seemed so frightening before. The loneliness it brings is just too much to bear for the tiny him. Possibly big and hard-headed on the outside, but yet small and vulnerable on the inside.

What should he do? The girl he likes has someone else in mind, and it just hurts so badly to talk about her object of affection which is not him at all. He cant help but to constantly ask about him. "How's he like?", "Who on earth is he?" Yet, the girl refused to tell him anything.

It's really hard for him to admit defeat to someone who he doesnt even know, someone shielded by a cloak of invisbility that the girl made for him. Is he just going to give up? Without letting her know how he feels about her?

The rain stopped. Light begun to fill up the darkened room once again. A realization silently sprung into his mind. He is going to give up. He has done it before and he'll do it again. It's time to face reality. He'll have to move on.

=)