*lost*

Been a long day.. a long strenous day. I'm tired, mentally and physically.

Went for taekwondo training yesterday, it was good, learnt patterns and stuff, but the main aim that i chose to join wasnt fufilled.

Departed from Kembangan CC alone, felt pretty empty throughout. and met a crying lil boy along the way to the bus stop. apparently, he lost his parents and didnt noe wad to do. thankfully, a security guard helped him out.

That sparked off some memories in my head. I myself have been left alone(or rather i wandered off sumwhere) when i was a kid. the feeling sucks when everybody around you are strangers, and you dont noe which way to go. it was real frightening. but i did managed to find my way back to my parents long time back.

I dont know how to exactly explain how i'm feeling. quarrels with my dad are getting more frequent and more aggresive. my studies' are in a big mess, and my love life's getting strained.
I'm not sure how long can i hold out, even the drastic attempt to stop all this(commiting suicide) seems to be more and more tempting.

Jokes arent funny anymore. smiling ish a chore. joyous moments disappeared along with time. i hate the life im having right now.. i need answers, i need to noe what to do, how to make it out of all this... alive.

I've lost the optimism i once had when i was younger. i could easily brush away negative and bad experiences. how am i able to lift myself out of all this.. but i dont wanna gib up either. argh...

-you arent there anymore-