*my fault my fault*

Sigh.. feeling real down at the moment. Just feel sho lonely suddenly, so suddenly that ive dragged in my other sad memories into.

Ive been a failure eh? think me will never be a good leader, or a particular guy whom others can call a good friend. I've mixed up my right and wrong, black and white , everything is gray now. I'm not sure what to do exactly, who to hang out with, i cant find back the feeling of being accepted by a group of friends.

Renewal. I miss that game sho darn badly, it was the very first game that i grew so emotionally attached to. I don't mind being alone in school or being outcasted in school.. as long i have this game to vent out my feelings on.

Yeh all must be laughing at my foolishness... but hey! It is the place where i met friends whom actually care and great friends material. Even juz by logging in, several "hi"s are there and they just make me feel so comfortable. Still remember the guild i was in, Tool's R us. the ultimate craftsman guild of NightShadow server.

God damn the freaking lousy company that hosted Renewal. Omg, the high pricing, the lousy GMs and technicians that allowed multiple hacks to happen. All these amounted, and resulted in the eventual downfall of e game.

So yeap, all of us, hardcore gamers have to find another game to spend time on, so that pretty much separated all of us. I ended up in Ragnarok Online. Didnt last long anyway, my interest in it dwindled somehow. I shall not commit the mistake again.. forsaking someone I used to love.

Alright, im not trying to act pitiful whatsoever. Just wanna vent it out with this blog. And perhaps it's my fault as well.. i'm not sure either. Ah heck, freak this life of mine.

-a place in your heart-