the rule of reciprocation*

I realised after 2 months studying over at Temasek Polytechnic, I haven't blog about my experiences even once. Seems really bad considering this blog of mine is serving as a way to keep my memories. I guess it'll be really interesting reading them 10 years later.

It was awesome that I got into the same course as Ker Hui. But that was it. I was hoping that Cupid Angel will place us into the same class. Imagine being able to see each other, have lunch together, and go home together everyday. However, Cupid Angel has other plans for us. Perhaps it's even a test for me. A test of my character. Anyway.. even lovers need some time away, far away, from each other.

Cupid Angel may choose to ignore my wish, but Lady Luck took its place. So she placed one of my closest friends, Tat Yi, in the same class as me. And together with some fabulous classmates of mine, all with colourful personalities.

Of course, being me, i'm never satisfied. Well i wished there were more guys. What's the point of having so many girls in my class? (fyi, its 20 girls to 6 guys). With that, i'm reduced to playing soccer only once a week. Yeah, a rather drastic change from almost everyday in my secondary school days.

And thankfully, i didn't have much difficulty being part of a wonderful clique. 4 guys 4 girls. Jimmy and Han Lin make good friends and the four girls are really friendly and amiable in their own ways. But somehow i felt.. i didn't belong.

I'm never comfortable being around girls, as a matter of fact. Guess it's just my innate nature to be shy around girls. And also with my commitment with Ker Hui, I felt that i should't get too close to any other girls. It's probably because I don't want to see the same thing happening to me. She, being close to some other guy.

It might happen someday. I don't know. And I dare not think so much. Or maybe i'm just being too serious in this relationship. Of course.. I can push everything to "If things are meant to be, then it'll be".

If only it's that easy.

a revisit

Hello blog. It's been ages since i last posted. I'm sorry i've neglected you. And i'm sorry for only blogging whenever i'm not happy. But i could use some space to vent out my feelings. Type it all out. And get on with life.

After so long.. I realised I am still me. Yeah, the one who has this tendency to turn simple thoughts into extremely complex ones. In a negative way that is. And its not uplifting at all. In fact. i'm very badly affected indeed. And it has a major role to play in the break up of my previous 2 relationships.

1st was crap. I don't want to be reminded by it. But it was the 2nd that i kinda regretted. All was seemingly well. Until this bad habit of mine destroyed everything. And now, its threatening me to spill everything out.

Spill what out? Those complex thoughts that i have. Ridiculous thoughts. And i know once i say them out, things will be different. And it will definitely lead to the same outcome. A break up.

I don't know what to do. Let's just see how long i can take it.

---

I watched Superman today with my pals today. Great show. But it's a pretty predictable storyline. Good guys will always truimph over the bad asses. X men was better though in my opinion.

For those who watched, remember the guy named Richard? Yeah that guy who's vying with Superman for Lois Lane affection. I guess in the end he won. Make no mistake, both of them love the girl pretty deeply.

How the hell did he win? He can't fly, he doesn't have super strength, he doesn't have much abilities to save her. I kinda feel like I'm him. I don't feel as though im the best guy around. Or maybe i'm just not confident. There are other guys out there who are much better..

Ah. Rooney got sent off. Oh England, you're in deep shit.

happy birthday to you

Yup. It's Ker Hui 17th birthday today. And i had the honour to celebrate it with her on this very day. Her friends could have easily booked her, or her family. But I managed to pull off a tremendous victory! When she sees this, she'll surely say its because her family and friends aren't free. Ah damn it. Haha.

The day began real brightly. Been looking forward to this day since last week. In fact, it has been the driving force that allowed me to work without getting weary. We had fun. Ice age 2 was an awesome movie to watch on birthdays. For its simply light hearted fun and allows you to feel happy at the end of the movie. Dinner was great too. Fish & Co sambal grilled fish really got me perspiring all over. The surprise I had for Ker Hui didn't exactly go according to plan, but still it all worked out pretty well. It might not be the best, but i'm nevertheless satisfied. You're now looking at a model who's endorsing Fossil watch. Looking as pretty as ever.



I admit the photo wasnt exactly taken very well. The lighting was poor. But anyway, here's the close up view on the watch i gave her. =D


Nice eh?

Well.. things kinda went downhill towards the end. Its like having a sudden cold realization creeping on me. Yes. My day has turned into night, and April 1st is gonna be over soon. After forcing a smile as i waved goodbye to ker hui, my pals called me asking me if i would like to find them over at parkway to play pool. Some of them even wanna stay out till the very next morning.

I would love to. But unfortunately i can't. I've gotta work. And being a waiter needs concentration at all times. I've had lapses of concentrations before, and i almost end up breaking plates. Thankfully I didn't. Else i'll be a sorry sight.

April 14th's real soon. Less than 2 weeks in fact. I can do it right? I've done so over at Hang Ten before. That was even more hellish than what i'm going through at the moment. And i'm gonna get through this. Like what i've always believed in.. have faith and things will turn out fine =)

It's futile asking me to shower you with less love. I simply can't do it.