*in a different timezone*

Feeling pretty dazed at the moment. I just slept for like around 16 hours. Prolly to make up for only sleeping 5-6 hrs the entire week. But taking it all in one day is pretty extreme for me. Ahh.. the after effects is killing mee. Wonder what i missed last night..?

Man, regretted quitting ragnarok online. Now then i realise alort of ppl been playing it. my friends etc. Well well.. let me continue my search for nicer games.

Oh yea, just completed final fantasy 8 recently. I must say it's a great game, replayed it coz i completed  the game like around.. 5 years ago? Pretty much forgotten everything, but now the fantasy , romance, everything is deep in my head. once again. ahh... Squall and Rinoa.

*the fear of losing you is overwhelming me* 

*take it easy will you*

Hrmm, i suppose that's what all my teammates will tell me right after the soccer match. Chose to walk away though.. just pretty upset over the loss.

Yup, played a match today.. a match that all of us thought we could win, yet we lost terribly. Answers anyone?

Perhaps its because i fail to bring up the morale of our team. Yes i admit, it was my fault that i had to shout off my head at every single mistake. I've been through that, being shouted for a careless mistake. It doesn't feel nice at all, and i end up playing, discouraged.

So why am i doing that to my own teammates? Perhaps I expect too much from them, all of us will get tired somehow and lose concentration , thus making mistakes. Or maybe, it's because of my desire to win. So strong that i got involved in this match so seriously and totally forgot my aim in playing soccer. My aim is to have fun, have something to cheer about, seeing my teammates cheering away and destress from the hectic school life.

I'm a rather simple person. I do things that have some sort of an aim. Be it doing the silly chinese corrections or some punishment which requires intensive writing, I tell myself that "hey! you can improve your handwriting", and so on. Yet i totally ignored the aim i have today.. argh.

This saturday, there will be a match again, against some tougher opponents i sppose. Time to redeem myself peeps!

ps: hey hey, thanks for being there for me and waiting patiently for my soccer match to end. Really appreciate it alortx. I'll pay back ten fold or hundred fold, ah wadeva =x thankew dear =P

*the desire to achieve*

Hrmm yeap. Guess that's the motto i gave during the SSC(Senior Specialists Course) interview. Well, guess it's because of the super duper stiff competition for the 5 slots.

Thankfully, I made it to the shortlisted cadets for this course. Yeah, with tis course, you'll gain a Staff Sgt rank at least. Anyways to me, rank ish nothing, it is the posting that matters the most.

Had the first training with the other top 9 today. Oh yeah, 10 people were shortlisted. Pretty nervous, and you can see it in all of our faces. Thankfully, the selection is held over several weeks.

However, the problem is that you habta really be a commander and a smart alec at times. So, it'll be inevitable to offend someone. What's more, it'll be like a boot camp. After every training, one cadet will be booted out of the shortlisted 10, till 5 remains.

Pretty challenging eh? Guess it'll be a test on how much every single one of us desire the place in SSC. Had a kinda good head start today, selected as one of the five member in the "Training commitee" It's either I do well or I get kicked out. I know I have the capability to do it. I can, I will, I must.

Anyways back to my life excluding ncc. to hastmana: eh eh eh, you better take the greatest care of yourself alwights? seriously it pains me to see you suffering in pain. to put it simply, its breaking me apart >.<~~ Why..? coz i need you dearie dear dear =x

Kay, time to report to her =x *dials number*

ps: Happy thrEE mOnth!! *91 days*