aLthaLus

Life As A Botak

2009-10-24T23:49:00.016+08:00

I never liked weekends.

Exorbitant movie ticket prices? Check. Super long queues at eateries? Check. No student meals at McDonald's? Check. No Little Nyonya? Checkkkkk.

Jeanette Aw Wo Ai Ni!

But when weekends are the only days you are able to see traffic lights, the night sky without having to do crunches and women that looks like women, they belong to the select few items that can never be bought with MasterCard. In other words? Priceless.

But for everything else, there's MasterCard

I happened to be walking down Orchard Road today. Haven't found the time nor energy to explore ION Orchard's carpark to see if they accept motorbikes and so I had to park my bike over at Cineleisure and walk my way from there. It sure feels good walking while carrying absolutely nothing.

I hate the freaking helmet and rifle

What a walk it was. Is it me or are Singapore girls getting less conservative and more liberal in terms of their dressing? It's getting impossibly hard to not notice that they are showing more skin and eye-popping cleavages. I even had to keep my eyes on the floor in order to walk straight!

Not that I had anything to lose, save for the fact that I had to endure the embarassment of being caught gawking. Can't be helped though. Just imagine this: Put millions of men together on an woman-free island for 5 or more days, make them sweat buckets and give them insufficient time to wash their clothes. What you'll get is a fragrance that makes you completely forget how a female human being looks like.

Some say she was a he, but if she/he looks like that, I don't freaking care

Technically speaking, there are women in Pulau Tekong actually. And it's pretty obvious given that they are not botak and have dried grass on their heads. Not to forget, there are also aunties wearing face masks as if the crap food they are serving us contains the H1N1 virus.

Even Tekong food will taste good if she's the one serving it

Okay lah, the food there isn't half bad actually. And I'm able to finish up the food most of the time. Not because it's good obviously, but because I'm so hungry that it hurts to reminicise how I used to throw away McDonald's golden fries away so easily.

Why so hungry? Because of the company I am in. You know it's bad when the uncle gives you a pitiful look and automatically gives you more rice when you tell him you're from Ninja Company. He then prays for you and gives you a cross to protect you. And when you take the cross gratefully and take your leave, he sheds tears for you.

May God bless you, Ninja Boy...

Except for the rice part, I'm just kidding of course.

Maybe I committed some heinous crimes in my previous life, but yeah I did find myself landing into a company renowned for their Prisoner-of-War treatment. "Just pray you don't get into Ninja" was something that I heard plenty of times before enlistment. Now that it materialised, what I'm getting are "Wah, you're damn fucking suay!" Tough luck.

Bo bian, suck thumb lor

But it isn't that bad lah actually. With all due respect to Pegasus, Ninja sounds so much more masculine than ~~Pussy~~ Pegasus. As long one do not think along the lines of turtles, being a Ninja trainee's pretty cool. And if I'm able to successfully graduate from Ninja's BMT unscathed, it'll be quite a remarkable achievement.

We shall not be moved...
We shall not be moved...
We are from Ninja, we shall not be moved...
Just like the tree, standing by the WATERFRONT!

Ninja, Ninja, all the way
We like it here, we like it here
We found ourselves a home
A home, a home sweet home!

And when I mean unscathed, it means hoping the live grenade that I'm about to throw this week doesn't explode in my pocket.

Amitabha.

My Final Post (for now lah)

2009-10-05T01:13:00.010+08:00

Training to be soldiers,
Fight for our land,
Once in our lives,
Two years of our time.

Looking all around us,
People everywhere,
Children having fun,
While we are carrying guns

Have you ever wondered,
Why must we serve?
Because we love our land,
And we want it to be free, to be free.

I used to sing that alot back in my NCC days. Never felt anything much then, primarily because school was just 3 bus stops away from my cosy little home. And more importantly, I could go home anytime.

Of course, that was the beautiful past. Now I'm having a perilous present in trying to get everything packed for my 2 weeks confinement. And not to forget, tomorrow is just the start of a very bleak future for me. I can't delay it anymore. I'm gonna serve the army!

Let's just hope what happened to MJ doesnt happen to me

Now I know how it feels when a person knows he is about to die. The person doesn't curse or swear at God for taking his life. The person doesn't cry or groan that everything is about to end. The person just accepts the fact that he's dying and embraces it. Like what I'm doing right now.

Embracing NS, can you believe it?

I can't believe how melodramatic I'm being right now. The bravado that I had probably got eaten up by the notion of not being able to shit whenever I want. Oh dear. What if I need to take a crap while doing the 24km route march?

Mommy, where's the toilet?

I actually wanted to give this entry a more sombre feel to it but I guess I'm better suited to ~~talking~~ writing cock. Despite being on Planet Earth for only 20 years, I've had my fair share of regrets and I'm pleased to say that reviving my blog is not one of them.

It was fun while it lasted. And it's always nice to see that some of you guys actually enjoy my posts and even favorited my blog! (Thanks Wan Qian but I hope it's not because you wanna seek some laughs over the silly photos of mine.) But I'm gonna have to take a hiatus again and I seriously hope you guys know why I'm taking it. (Jia lat, I doubt Mok know)

And if you excuse me, I'm gonna have to be in Pulau Tekong already. So take good care everybody and do stay alive.

I'll remove those xiao long pao baskets when I'm back. (Yes, my handsome face is right behind them)

--

PS: Thanks alot for all the wishes. Appreciate it.

Hilarious Shiet!

2009-10-02T20:25:00.000+08:00

What I'm Really Afraid Of (Continued)

2009-10-02T02:29:00.013+08:00

I had a sudden cold realisation today.

I'm only 4 days away from not being able to shit whenever/wherever I want! No more doing the deed in the comfort of my own home or shopping malls anymore. No more reading newspaper or playing PSP while producing fertilisers anymore. And it's hello to toilets in another island and the great outdoors. How very tragic.

Seems like I'll have to keep it in during field camp

Pardon my crudeness. I needed to let it out. No pun intended of course.

And taking it from my previous post, what I'm really afraid of starts with the letter "S" and has something to do with this:

Come on... what are you waiting for?

Nope, it's not sex(lack of) Wei Jie. It's what comes after that actually.

Contrary to popular belief, I'm actually a firm believer in sex after marriage. All you need is a moment of folly and this little guy will be staring at you

Hello Daddy, what's up?

Just make sure you get married before you hit 40 though. You wouldn't wanna end up like him.

His first time lasted 1 minute

Anyway, it's SLEEP I'm talking about. Good quality sleep. Unfortunately for me, good quality sleep equates to at least 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep. And the chances of me getting 10 hours of sleep a day in Pulau Hell is as good as surviving a Letty's tombstone piledriver.

Can't get any worst than this

I know this sounds like a lame excuse, but do you know why I'm always late? 99% of the time, it's because I can't get my ass off my bed. It takes me at least 5 snoozes to wake myself up. 1 snooze 10 mins and you do the math. So there you go, it's not like I want to be late. I simply can't help it!

~~Then sleep earlier lah.~~ Ignored.

Not only that, my Dad has offered to buy me 2 weeks worth of "Breathe Right" for me... without me asking him to. And his rationale? He's worried that Ah Bengs will whack me because they are kept awake by me not breathing right.

Don't hamtam me please

As much as I wish to deny that I snore, I do and pretty loudly too. And the best thing I heard about my snoring is that it's consistent. Which of course doesn't really help matters.

So here you go, what I'm really afraid of is not something trivial, it's a matter of life and death. Somebody save me please.

What I'm Really Afraid Of

2009-09-29T00:43:00.020+08:00

I got chided by my Dad today.

Somebody's gonna get hurt real bad

For making it sound like I'll never be able to return home after enlisting into army, when all I did was to reply "I won't be able to eat chicken chop anymore(in army)" when my Dad nagged at me for eating "unhealthy" food.

Who cares about health when dinner looks like this

3 months back, I was cursing and swearing about how the wait for army will be like 3 long years. And now in an blink of an eye, I'm left with only 7 freaking days. S E V E N freaking days to a new ~~cell~~ home. Even the magazine that I just bought is mocking me.

I've got 1 more day than you! ROFLMAO!

Paid 2 bucks to be mocked at. Nice.

To think I was pleading "PLEASE TAKE ME, PLEASE TAKE ME" during the July intake to no avail unfortunately. But now I just wanna lock myself in the toilet so that they won't be able to kidnap me for their evil experiments.

But I'm kinda skinny actually

Oh well. They say army is a rite of passage for boys to become men. I guess it's time (NOT YET, 7 MORE DAYS) for me to face my destiny. Besides, there isn't really much to fear about army, is there? Let's take a look at some of the issues that people may have reservations about:

1) Food

They say that in the army,
The food is very nice,
You ask for mutton curry,
They give you chao ta rice.

This shouldn't pose much of a problem to me, considering I ain't exactly very picky about food. I just don't eat pork, mutton, beef, fish with too many bones, onions, garlic, cockles just to name a few. And to top it off, I've got a special talent in which I'm able to eat the same thing over and over. KFC for one week? No problemo.

2) The Supernatural

OMFG! GHOST.. GHOST!

I've heard about stories about the nasi lemak auntie that only appears at night and the right answer to her asking you to buy her nasi lemak is to point her to another bunkmate. I seriously wonder what will happen if I were to buy it. I'll let you guys know in the future. Just hope that the payment isn't a year deducted from my life span.

Also, you're not allowed to point your torchlight at the trees because you'll be "disturbing" the spirits lingering around. Fair enough, why would I wanna "see" ghosts anyway?

My philosophy is that if I didn't commit any sin, I won't be having any encounters with the supernatural. And never follow what they do in horror movies. Checking out a strange room/cupboard/toilet/movie theatre when obviously there's something spooky about it. That's what I'll call "asking for it."

3) Sausage fest toilets

Some people might be afraid of seeing others naked(and feeling inferior) or exposing themselves to others(and feeling inferior). Well, let's just say I'm confident in what I possess. Hoho.

4) Lonely Nights

When all you have is the Moon for company

This is a huge problem for most people. Especially those with girlfriends(or boyfriends). At least they have somebody to call during admin time. But personally, I believe that it's always easier to get through army when one is single. There's so much less things to worry about as compared to having a girlfriend. And you don't have to...

Booking out, see my girlfriend,
Saw her with, another man
KILL the MAN, rape my girlfriend!
with my rifle and my buddy and me EEE eee.

5) Anal Sergeants

Pump me please, I beg you

They say that in the army,
The sergeants very nice,
You talk to them nicely,
They scold you chao chee bye.

Especially when they are most likely to be the same age as you. And they steal your food and make you do push ups for no particular reason. But with everybody else taking the same shit as you, it makes you feel better somewhat.

But what is it that I'm really afraid of?

--

To be continued.

A New Name

2009-09-27T03:07:00.014+08:00

I'm surprisingly feeling quite awake right now considering I slept with Jimmy (with one pillow gap between us and no hanky panky) last night for about only 5 hours. It's an interesting battle between us really - a battle to see who can manage to fall asleep quicker. Tragically, I lost yesterday and as a result, I was kept up for an hour due to his soothing snoring.

It's not easy to breathe right

I won the battle in Hong Kong (5 nights consecutively) when we shared the same hotel room, so I guess I don't really have the right to complain.

Anyway, we were invited to stay over at Sharon's place (though I was told that my presence doesn't really matter but despite having a shattered heart, I still went anyway) as her parents were out of town.

By the way, the "we" I'm talking about is the Fools' Club.

Tat Yi's training to be officer

Frankly speaking, I don't understand why we are named the Fools' Club. Listen to me, we should rename ourselves for I can easily think of names that are a million times better. Since there are SIX of us, what about...

Six And The City?

Hmm, too risque huh?

Never mind. What about this, Six-ophone?

Okay, guess not.

Or check this out, the best of the lot...

THE SIX PACK!

Clockwise direction from top left:
Jimmy, Evelyn, Jun Ren, Sharon, Wan Qian & Tatyi

~~Sixy~~ Sexy isn't it? Told you I had brilliant ideas. Even Jam Hsiao will agree with me Sharon. Don't worry we can always expand into 8 pack once I manage to find my significant other.

And to be continued.

--

Though we are always here for you,
Ultimately, the one who can help yourself , is yourself.
You can do it. I'm sure of that.

Come Home To 5

2009-09-23T21:45:00.020+08:00

I figured there will be days in which I'll be stuck at home with absolutely nothing to do. Today is one of them.

Well, it can't be helped considering all the girls are schooling (I don't have much "girl" friends anyway) and most of the guys are serving the army. And here I am, unable to serve the army nor go to school YET. It's like I'm some stuck bowels in some poor constipated guy.

Looks like shit but they are sausages

Nevertheless, I had to find something to do and after some severe brainstorming, I decided to watch Singapore ~~Idiot~~ Idol.

Considering how much I detest asS-League, I suppose I should give local talents a chance, so long they sing well and not play crappy football. And so I reluctantly obeyed "Come home to 5" and braced myself for impact.

Though it wasn't mind blowing stuff, it's still pretty good I'll have to say and a very pleasant surprise. At least it made my day more enjoyable... somewhat.

Michael Learns To Rot

Actually, it is largely due to the 8 Days magazine that I read yesterday that piqued my interest in Singapore Idol. Especially the short article about how Gurmit Singh sucks as the SI host.

Gurmeet Singh from Google Images

And amazingly yeah, I'll have to agree with 8 Days. I did watch the very first Singapore Idol in which Sylvester Sim totally butchered "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi and the judges are so fucking deaf that they all agreed it was a very good rendition. Anyway, I never felt there was anything wrong with Gurmit Singh's hosting then.

The real Gurmit Singh

Perhaps it's because the show's live or the mounting criticism that got to him, but it's undeniable that he kept bumbling through the show and kept repeating the same things over and over. You could really see that he's trying his utmost best in finding new things to say literally. (Watch SI next week to see for yourself). One particular exchange between himself and co-host Hady Mirza summed it up best.

Gurmit Singh was saying something about how nervous it must feel when the contestants were all lined up and waiting for the results to be announced. Then he mentioned something like this:

Gurmit Singh: I think you've been through it before, right?

Hady Mirza(with a "Duh" expression and tone): Of course!

And for a split second there, I could see how Gurmit Singh had a sudden realisation that he said something stupid. Kudos to him for pretending it didn't happen almost immediately. But still, I saw it. Too bad.

Moreover, why the hell is Hady Mirza the co-host?

Your very first Asian Idol

Apparently, his role encompasses being co-host and to dispense "valuable" advice to the current contestants. But the question here is, "Why is he here and not recording albums somewhere else?" Won't the contestants feel that the future's bleak even if they won the competition? They'll simply replace Hady Mirza as the co-host (or maybe Gurmit Singh if he doesn't pull his socks up) and the cycle continues.

Recyling the way to go?

Oh well. Back to the contestants, I'm pretty impressed with the guy who sang "Low" and the Secondary 4 kid who sang "Poker Face". And then something unbelievable happened.

I was so enchanted by their performances that when Gurmit Singh urged us to vote for them, I took out my phone and smsed...

"Please buy some potato chips from 7-11 before you come home" to my Dad.

What to do? I needed something to chew on for the results show.

Face(less)book

2009-09-22T00:34:00.005+08:00

It's a wonder how my life will pan out if I didn't heed Jun Wei's advice in getting myself connected to others on Facebook. I wouldn't be able to check out my friends and see how they are doing. I wouldn't be able to "Like" it when some pretty girl became single and I wouldn't be able to show how intelligent I am with the "What's on your mind" function.

But I did plant my face on Facebook and now I have to deal with photos such as this:

Tampines Safra after graduation

Okay, doesn't seem like anything much... yet. Let's zoom in a little.

Kenneth seemed to be enjoying it, I'm just too good

Nope it wasn't planned. I've got no idea why I chose to be in such a compromising position while wearing that stupid T-shirt of mine. And can somebody explain to me why Karen Mok's so happy?

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas

2009-09-17T01:06:00.018+08:00

Warning: This entry may contain spoilers and fans of Bananas.

A few days back after slaving my life away in Transcab, I got home and the first thing my Dad told me when he saw me was (loosely translated from Chinese):

Dad: Your sis bought a new book today. Check it out.

Me(glanced towards the Popular plastic bag): Oh. So what?

Dad: With her own money. For once.

Me: Now that's a surprise. (This was just a thought, I didn't exactly say it out)

I didn't check out the book she bought immediately though, for my attention was fixated on watching Rafael Nadal getting walloped by Del Potro and actually enjoying it. I hated Nadal ever since he made Federer cry.

He didn't hit the sweet spot

Pity the Great Man himself got defeated by this Del Potro guy too. And to think he's only 20 years old, he should be enlisting into army with me instead!

We could be commandos together

Life's unfair that way sometimes.

After witnessing Nadal got steam rolled over, I took out the book my sister bought with apprehension and this is what I had in my hand.

WTF! was my first reaction, frankly speaking. The title, the design, the colour and even the author's name looks stupid. And guess what came to my mind moments later?

Hint: Vivocity has it. Orchard Ion has it. But Eastpoint Mall only has one of them unfortunately.

And they are none other than the...

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, B1?"
"I think I am, B2!".

You know what I'm thinking? I'm definitely not gonna read a book about how this boy travels with this two fucking bananas on their journey to the west and about their trials and tribulations that probably involves a lot of monkeys trying to gobble them up.

Omg, what is ~~Letty~~ King Kong doing here?

Wanting to not judge a book by its cover, literally, I checked out the back of the book, hoping to find a blurp for a rough idea of what the book is about. And surprisingly, there was nothing. What were the publishers thinking? Only idiots will buy such a book.

Oops. My sister did.

Nevertheless, I flipped the cover over and there it was, the synopsis which read:

"The story of "The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas" is very difficult to describe. Usually we give some clues about the book on the cover, but in this case we think that would spoil the reading of the book. We think it is important that you start to read without knowing what it is about. If you do start to read this book, you will go on a journey with a nine-year-old boy called Bruno. (Though this isn't a book for nine-year-olds.) And sooner or later you will arrive with Bruno at a fence. We hope you never have to cross such a fence."

Wow. How intriguing. How mysterious. And how unorthodox. How can I not read the book now? Though for a split second, this creepy person's image came to my mind.

This is the other Bruno. The gay one.

It's quite an experience really. Reading a book with absolutely no idea what the book is about. Although the journey thingy in the synopsis sounds like it may be what I feared about the bananas earlier. Thankfully it wasn't.

I'm not gonna provide spoilers here I guess. But this book is definitely was one hell of an adventure, albeit from the perspective of a 9 year old boy. And the ending was ... not a happily-ever-after. Oops, I guessed I just gave some spoilers.

But if you insist on getting spoilers out of me, check out the movie trailer of the adapted film.

Riveting stuff huh?

Like The Time Traveler's Wife, I was also initially skeptical about the film, whether it will be able to capture, in this case, the irony of the boy's naiveness and ignorance as to what's happening to the world.

But it did. I've watched the film and all I have got to say that it's a must-watch. 4.5 ikan bilis out of 5 ikan bilis.

Besides you know the movie is good when 90% of the trailer's comments in YouTube are like "OMG.. This is the saddest movie I've ever watched... *sobs*", "I just can't stop crying... the ending is so saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!" and "I can't believe the group of commandos beside us were crying like a bunch of pussies after the movie! It's THAT good!"

9% are vulgarity-laced comments such as "FUCK YOU HITLER!", "I swear if Hitler is alive today, I'm gonna be the one who kills him" and "HIT YOUR LAMPA LAH, SI HITLER"

And the 1% are those from intelligent creatures who can only come up with, "Yessssss! First to comment! Hehe!" and simply repeating this till... say around the 5th or 6th comment.

Someone give these guys a trophy or something.

Another One Bites The Dust

2009-09-11T02:07:00.010+08:00

Today marks the day of another good friend of mine enlisting into army. It sucks seeing everybody being baptised before you and there you are still queuing up. Except that I have to queue for 26 more days. Which feels as long as queuing to enter a club.

Went Butterfactory yesterday to mourn Jun Wei's passing. No pictures because our ~~photographer~~ good friend who has a camera didn't go with us. Well, Jian Rong should be thankful Daphne didn't go anyway, else Facebook is going to see a lot of photos that may attract homosexuals to him. Actually, that may be what he wants (attracting homosexuals) because I really don't know what his sexual orientation is.

Tell me what makes a man...

Just kidding. He's definitely straight(I think lah) and a poor bloke who got his fragile heart broken many times. So many times that if you were to write a book about it, there'll be 1000 pages with size 4 Arial font.

Just kidding again. Though he got himself pissed drunk and humped every single thing on sight yesterday, he's a pretty nice guy actually.

Articulate with his Chinese language(he's one of those guys I can never speak English with)

Passionate about bear bricks(tell me, how many guys out there can you find who loves bear bricks?)

Bearbricks gives you orgasms! (Redbull gives you wings)

And has dance moves so good that Show Luo called personally to ask him how he did it.

Now, if you want his phone number, do arrange an inteview with me.

--

Just kidding again, again.

The Time Traveler's Wife

2009-09-08T00:20:00.013+08:00

Ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous! (unintentional spoilers alert)

1) That most reviews of the movie were negative
2) Only a selected few cinemas in Singapore are showing this movie
3) And yet lame movies such as G Force and Where Got Ghost? are being shown by every single cinema

I know I've sinned by mutilating my sister's guinea pig while it was alive (now dead unfortunately), but for Walt Disney to produce a film about guinea pigs saving the world is way overboard. Oh come on, why guinea pigs?

Don't get me wrong. It's not like I have an extreme aversion towards guinea pigs and if they can pull off a love scene as well as Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams could, I wouldn't mind really. But the reality is plain for us to see, it's impossible.

Frankly speaking, I was a little disheartened when I read all those negative reviews about the movie. It would be a pity really, if the film does not properly capture the beauty of the novel. Having read the book roughly a month ago, I adored it and had great expectations for the live action adaptation.

It didn't disappoint. Screw those rotten reviews, though I have to agree with them that Eric Bana is naked a lot. A little too often for my liking. As a heterosexual male, seeing too much male butts (technically it's the same butt but still..) leaves me a little traumatised.

Why can't they show more of Rachel McAdams naked instead? Oh right, she can't freaking time travel like Eric Bana does. Screw the author. Why can't she write The Time Traveler's Husband instead? I'm dead certain that I'll love the book/movie more.

I won't exaggerate by saying that this movie is better than Titanic but it's still a pretty good tearjerker. Saw plenty of girls with red eyes exiting the cinema. Wanted to laugh at them for being such cry babies, but if I were to do that, I figured I'll have to disappear Eric Bana-style with the huge horde of offended cry babies breathing down my neck.

Which I can't. So yeah.

Anyway, go watch it if you haven't, I strongly recommend it. It may be about time travel and we all know how time travel can get a little messy sometimes, but overall, the movie's still pretty easy to comprehend. But if you don't like the movie, don't look for me.

Look for althalus instead.

Soothe Your Ears

2009-09-03T03:25:00.005+08:00

Goodness me! I ought to be in bed right now... but (as always, there's always so many ~~butts~~ buts in my life) I'm kinda addicted to 超級星光大道 right now and well, it's worth to forgo some sleep over.

Check out the ang moh. (fastforward to 2 minutes) Well, if you leave the part in which he sang off key out, it's a pretty damn good performance from him. And unlike the previous contestant who's a Chinese, he didn't forget any single lyrics at all. Puts us Chinese to shame really.

And I hope the Singaporeans taking part in the show can PK away all the contestants in 超級星光大道.

Singapore Boleh!

A Band Slamming Proposal

2009-09-01T00:28:00.024+08:00

It's funny how sometimes when one complains about something but given some time later, the complaint may seem as a case of overreaction. I remembered whining about why couldn't the people in charge throw me into army earlier. And that time would surely pass real slowly.

But guess what? It's already September and I'm just a month and few days shy from my enlistment. I'm pretty sure I'll be whining about how time seems to speed up a week before October 6th.

The month of August has been great. Just a quick recap, there were plenty of birthday celebrations(as compared to other months). Wan Qian, Wei Jie, Daphnes(plural not typo) and even Singapore all celebrated their birthday this month. Of course, my money in my bank got drained empty before you can even finish saying Happy Birthday.

Daphne's 20th birthday at Timbre Old Skool

And it didn't helped that I watched two movies today. Namely Band Slam and The Proposal. Oh yeah, I've watched quite a few movies this month as well. Err nope, I didn't watch Where Got Ghost though.

Where Got Ghost, Where Got Funny? Or so I heard.

The Proposal was great, despite watching it with 3 other lonely guys. Put four single lonely men together, it's either they participate in an sausage-fest orgy or watch a romantic comedy to numb the pain. Thankfully, we chose the latter.

I've read a review that claimed that The Proposal was funnier than The Hangover. It's either the reviewer's a girl or some atas ape that can't appreciate slap stick humour that veered slightly towards sexism. I'll take The Hangover over The Proposal anytime if I'm in need of some laughs.

But for singles like you(Wei Jie, Jun Wei/Hao just to name a few) and me, romantic comedies are quite a ride really. It may make us laugh, but at the end of the movie, chances are, we'll be wishing that we'll be able to find a girl to spend the rest of our lives with. At least until the girl start to chut pattern. Like when Sandra Bullock decided to put on her birthday suit.

Let's just say she looks better with clothes on.

Band Slam was surprisingly good. Wouldn't have watched it if there were still good seats for the earlier screening of The Proposal. It may be a Disney show but it's not-that-kiddy given the fact that Vanessa Hudgens had a kissing scene with someone else other than Zac Efron. Someone who is err... not as good looking.

The man in the middle, that's him

It's like downgrading your Ferrari (Zac Efron)

to a Proton Saga. (Band Slam guy)

Big difference huh?

Anyway, the main draw for Band Slam's the music really. (Like duh, it's band slam afterall) Though the song choice for the climax was a little strange so to speak, I kinda liked Vanessa Hudgens' rendition of Bread's Everything I Own, which is coincidentally track no. 9 in their album which I bought years back.

Hmm what? I don't look like those who enjoy oldies?

Anyway, here's the music video. (the arrangement is way different from the one in the movie.)

Everything I Own

You sheltered me from harm.
Kept me warm, kept me warm
You gave my life to me
Set me free, set me free
The finest years I ever knew
Were all the years I had with you

I would give anything I own,
Give up my life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own,
Just to have you back again.

You taught me how to love,
What its of, what its of.
You never said too much,
But still you showed the way,
And I knew from watching you.
Nobody else could ever know
The part of me that cant let go.

I would give anything I own,
Give up my life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again.

Is there someone you know,
You're loving them so,
But taking them all for granted.
You may lose them one day,
Someone takes them away,
And they dont hear the words you longed to say

I would give anything I own,
Give up my life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again.

--

That's what I'd call good and meaningful lyrics man. Songs these days are losing touch with humanity with their lyrics. Boom Boom Boom anyone?

Ignoring Ignorance

2009-08-27T01:05:00.012+08:00

Just went downstairs and bought some chips and a can of Jolly Shandy Lychee (Bagus!). Figured I need a little alcohol(0.5%!) to begin this blog post. My aim for tonight is to finish this blog post, watch an episode of ~~Gays Over Flowers~~ Heroes and tuck myself in bed. All before 3am.

I was working today, as usual, doing the same old boring stuff. It's pretty taxing trying to act enthusiastic and happy just with your voice alone. Good afternoon Transcab! Screw you. Do you need a taxi now? Screw you. Where are you now? Screw you. Where do you want to go? Screw you. Please hold the line and wait for the taxi number and thank you for calling Transcab. Screw you and hope your taxi crashes.

Just kidding. I'm not so angsty.

Anyway, the purpose of the entry today is to highlight an conversation I overheard. I was seated in between two middle-aged women who well, loves talking and unfortunuately loves doing so while being loud.

S (My Indian supervisor): Hey Y, why is the China man downstairs listening to Cantonese songs?

(Coincidentally, one of my favourite songs, Hao Xin Fen Shou, was the song that was playing.)

Y (My Chinese colleague): Yeah, Ah Hong knows how to speak Cantonese mah.

(Ah Hong is the ~~diesel man~~ guy who's in charge of collecting payment for diesel)

Me: ...

S: Huh really ah? How come China people know how to speak Cantonese? I thought they only speak Chinese?

Me: ... ... ...

I swear I felt like taking out my Secondary 3 History textbook, flip to the page - that shows how our forefathers left their family back in China, sailed through the rough oceans with their small little boats, slogged their life away as coolies and eventually creating a Singapore that we know today - and stuff it right at her face.

And I imagined myself rounding up with this statement. "Our forefathers are from China and the dialects we're using in Singapore are all naturally brought over from there!"

But with me being Mr Calm and Collected, I didn't for obvious reasons. You don't mess with your supervisor and get away with it. Besides, I'd rather save my breath for paragraph two. (Scroll up.)

And from my supervisor's ignorance, I saw an uncanny resemblance to myself back when I was completing my 3.1 semester in TP. During Destination Bullshit Class (Or better known as DPD)

I never had an Indian classmate before, despite 6 years in Chongzheng Primary and 4 years in Ngee Ann Secondary and 2 years in Temasek Polytechnic. And thus I didn't have a single friend who's Indian. And as fate has it, I was finally in the same class with not one, but two very nice Indians.

But you know me, I tend to be a little overeager at times and say things that loosely translated, didn't go through my big brain. And so I striked up a conversation with K. The lecturer, Mr Thiru, was talking about some country.

Me: Hey K, so you visit India often? Nice place?

K (with an amused expression): Once. Was having a holiday.

Me(trying to sound matter-of-factly): Huh once only? Don't you have relatives there? I mean with you being Indian and all.

K (with an amused expression and a tinge of irritation): No. I'm Singaporean. My relatives are all here in Singapore.

Me(alarmed): Oh right oh right.

And the conversation ended there. With me overwhelmed with embarassment and shame. Heck, I haven't even been to China before. And my relatives are either in Singapore or Malaysia, that's all. Moral of the story: There's a huge difference between Chinese or Indian national and Chinese or Indian Singaporean.

And we are Singapoooooooooore, Singaporeaaaaaaaaaaaans!

Running For Joy

2009-08-26T00:38:00.013+08:00

10 minutes 27 seconds.

Good enough for Napfa but not quite there yet for IPPT. Yeap that's right, that's the amount of time I took to complete 2.4km over at ~~school~~ Temasek Polytechnic. With Wei Jie running along with me and Guan Zuo monkeying around with a soccer ball.

Could have been better I guess. Afterall, my personal best was around 9 min 30 seconds. That was back in my heyday, 5 years back, when my fitness was at its prime. Funny how I'm talking like an old man when I'm just 20 years old. And I can't even enter Genting's casino without fooling the ~~door bastard~~ bouncer.

Actually, if it weren't for the damn IPPT and to enjoy playing soccer better, I wouldn't give a hoot about running. It's one of those things that the "process" part sucks. For example, I may feel as tired after a round of tennis but at least it's fun. You know the joy it brings when you hit the ball with the sweet spot? It's orgasmic. Now you know why Roger Federer is always smiling.

Because he hit the sweet spot.

Whereas for running, on a track especially, it's too damn repetitive and boring. And it takes immense mental strength to keep going and keep running. Well, for people with not-so-strong mental strength, they'll simply go "Left right left right left right left.. fuck, I've got a stitch.. right.. left.. Nabei why dapai got stitch wan" and they'll stop and vent their frustration by kicking something in which they'll miss, fall and sprain their ankle.

But it isn't all doom and gloom, else the man from Kenya, Ethiopia, Congo whatever, who completed the 10000m race in world record time is a very very depressed man.

Bekele Kenenisa from Ethiopia

Hmm, doesn't really look too happy eh? Well, never mind.

Unlike other sports, the joy or whatever it is that makes you want to run, comes after the run. It is also after completing a run that you can tell yourself, "Yes! I'm now an freaking Iron Man!" and that all the struggling, swearing and cursing was all worth it.

It's like event management. There will be an immeasurable amount of sai gang to do but at the end of the day, if the event succeeds à la Wei Jie's birthday, it's all worth it.

Cheers.

Have We Met Already?

2009-08-23T02:03:00.003+08:00

We're all lonely for something we don't know we're lonely for. How else to explain the curious feeling that goes around feeling like missing somebody we've never even met?

David Foster Wallace

Booming thunder, streaks of lightning and chilly air are all signs of trouble for a motorcyclist. But yet I found myself wishing that it would rain, for sometimes it actually feels good to wallow in self pity. But it didn't happened. As if the heavens is trying to comfort me.

I have not had this feeling for a long long time. And yet it had to hit me despite being in the company of plenty people. Fun, exciting people. Which goes to show that the world works in unexplainable ways.

I thought I handled it pretty well. At least until now, that is. But singlehood does get a little lonesome sometimes, doesn't it? Knowing that somebody you love is always there for you is something I wish I can have.

But there's nothing that can't be solved with a glass or two of Baileys. For sleep can be quite a nice antidote sometimes.

E-mail or Ewww-mail? The Redemption of Althalus

2009-08-22T00:15:00.009+08:00

I figured I should continue what I started, albeit leaving out lost4eva_wanderer@hotmail.com and i_am_sorry_for_all_that_i_have_done@hotmail.com because the stories behind them aren't exactly what I would like to remember. Yeah I know I know, the email addresses sure sound cheesy.

It has always been a hassle whenever there are forms that required me to fill up my email address. Especially one as long as i_am_sorry_for_all_that_i_have_done@hotmai.com. Heck, even typing it out is tough. I always thought underscore was cool, but I guess I shouldn't have abused it that way. So I grew smart one day and decided that I needed to shorten my email.

the_redemption_of_althalus@hotmail.com

Skeptics may say it's not much shorter but if you view it in terms of the underscores used, I've reduced it by more than 50%. Yeah whatever but hey it's way much cooler now. Which explains why I'm still using it.

You know your email address is cool stuff when you have plenty of people asking you how the hell you came up with this address or what does the redemption of althalus means. And it surprises me that throughout my 5 years and counting of using this email address, only 1 person knew how I came across "the redemption of althalus."

Yeah, my nerdy senior from Student Council.

As brilliant as I can be sometimes, I didn't create the redemption of althalus. David and Leigh Eddings did.

Err yeah, there you go. It's just the title of the first storybook I've bought.

One that was too cheem for me to comprehend at the age of 12 perhaps? Judging from how yellow the pages of the book have become. 12 sounds about right.

With that, I can finally start blogging about my views on email addresses that are special or just plain funny. crybaby? kitty lover?

I can't wait to begin.

The Thing About Poems

2009-08-20T00:55:00.009+08:00

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder

What is beauty?
Does it mean pretty?
Do not bother to think,
for beauty is not everything.

Beauty lies in the eye of beholder,
just like a folder.
The most important documents are inside,
the unimportant cover, on the outside.

Why does the ugliest creature you feel,
end up married happily ever after?
Why does the beautiful angel,
end up single and lonely forever?

Define beauty innerly,
as beauty is just skin-deep,
shallow people just judge them this way,
aren't them just as good as creeps?

Do not worry, my friends,
no matter how imperfect you think you are,
It is nothing more than a self prank,
because someone out there will accept you,
for who you are, not what you are.

Me, when I was 14 years old

--

Another poem that I've totally forgotten about. And I suppose this one doesn't need any explanations huh?

Can't believe this was actually read to the whole school for some poem writing competition. Although I didn't get to hear them read it out as I was busy with some student councillor work.

I looked something like this. Neat and proper.

Okay, what's so surprising about me being a student councillor? I was a great kid back in secondary school days. Class chairman? Check. Neatly gelled hair? Check. Tight pants? Check. High socks? Check. Enthusiastic about the welfare of the student body? Check. Stupid stuck-up moron? Check too.

At least until the end of Secondary Two, that is. It's true when they say "Life only begins once you start wearing the long pants."

Right. I made that up. But I kinda became "notorious" after I donned the long pants and became an "upper secondary" student. Enough about that, let's talk about poems.

I always liked poems, primarily cause it never ceases to amaze me how an avalanche of emotions can be felt despite being compressed into a few short paragraphs. And sometimes, it even rhymes.

I've written quite a few poems; mostly love poems because you can be ridiculously mushy with them and get away with it. I wish I can show how sappy I can get but I just can't seem to find any of them nor remember how I wrote them. (Mental note: keep a soft copy of any future poems so that you can recycle them for future girlfriends)

Just kidding of course. Although it's actually quite cool to create a template and insert in whatever the girl name is accordingly. I'll be damned if I really take that route in the future.

And hey, this may sound a little emo, but what's the point if I can't find a girl to write a poem for? Right?

Sailor's Sweetheart

2009-08-17T23:30:00.002+08:00

O if love were had for asking
In the markets of the town,
Hardly a lass would think to wear
A fine silken gown:
But love is had by grieving
By choosing and by leaving,
And there's no one to ask me
If heavy lies my heart.

O if love were had for a deep wish
In the deadness of the night,
There'd be a truce to longing
Between the dusk and the light:
But love is had for sighing,
For living and for dying,
And there's no one to ask me
If heavy lies my heart.

O if love were had for taking
Like honey from the hive,
The bees that made the tender stuff
Could hardly be kept alive:

But love is a wounded thing,
A tremor and a smart,
And there's no one to kiss me now
Over my heavy heart.

Duncan Campbell Scott

Just a Little Explaination:

If love can be asked and received easily in markets,
All young girls would surely wear a silk gown.
But love involves a lot of heart break, choice and separations...
Sailor's lover has left him and now there's no one to comfort him.

If we could obtain love easily by a wish we made at night,
Lovers need not hunger for love during long lonely nights...
But love involves a lot of sacrifice....

If we could obtain love as easily as we extract honey from beehives,
Those who give such love, such as bees, would die of heartaches...
But love lost inflicts wounds and pains the lover..
The sailor's lover has left him heartbroken

--

Been rather busy lately, but here's something I stumbled upon from my old blog.

Cherish those Moments

2009-08-14T23:20:00.025+08:00

Some people like Wei Jie like them big and exciting whereas some like Daphne perhaps, like them small and intimate. The former prefers it to all happen simultaneously whereas the latter would prefer it to occur several times over a period of time.

Before you start insinuating that Wei Jie is gay and that Daphne has erm, an acquired taste, I'm talking about birthday celebrations over here.

Sharon's 20th birthday at Marina Barrage

I just had one today. Nope not for myself (I'm kinda dreading my 21st birthday) but for Wan Qian. Though I normally prefer to be involved in a birthday celebration that is held on the birthday boy/girl's actual birthday itself, we didn't today because I suppose we aren't important enough. Sigh.

Just kidding of course. One should never incur her wrath. Because it'll be like Final Destination. And we all know they all die in it. For you can't escape death.

I wonder if anybody will survive the latest instalment.

As compared to last year, the celebration this year is considerably smaller in scale and there's just me, Jimmy Well Hung, Evelyn Well Hung, Quah Bee Sze and of course the birthday girl, Chew-it-man Wan Qian.

Five people you meet in heaven.

It was pretty good nevertheless. I wish I have pictures to go along with this entry, but contrary to popular belief, I don't really like taking photos. I'm just not photogenic. I have to like probably take 20 times before I get an acceptable shot of myself.

It's either I'm asleep

Jun Wei's 20th birthday & Letty's ~~farewell~~ party

With an unexplainable expression

Cassandra's Farewell

WTF?

Seventeen Summer Challenge

Carrying unglam stuff

Before leaving for Hong Kong

And this one takes the cake. Machiam I saw a ~~freak~~ pretty lady.

Genting with Letty

Like I mentioned earlier, there are good ones. Though the chances of me getting a good shot is miniscule, I do get them.

Sharon/Wan Qian said this is my best photo or something along that line.

On the ferry to Macau

Thanks, appreciate your kind words. But I think I look better in this.

Traveling in HK's MTR

At least my eyes can be seen in this picture.

A picture paints a thousand words and it can't be any more true. Words can indeed only describe so much whereas pictures like the ones above capture moments that may be otherwise forgotten along with the passing of time.

Moments of Hilarity

Every man for himself for that last piece

Moments of Exhilaration

Aftermath of Solero Shot

and Moments of True Friendships

The Gang of Eight

The Fool's Club

It'll be extremely regrettable should these moments are not captured. And it doesn't really help that I do not have a digital camera either. But... tagging me in Facebook whenever possible would be great!

--

Coming soon, Wan Qian's forced expression while receiving her present!

A Moment Please

2009-08-14T00:26:00.002+08:00

It's really hard to string words together when one is fatigued. My shoulder stings right now no thanks to the searing heat waves. And tomorrow's another long day for me.

So pardon me, and a moment please.

By the way, Happy 20th Birthday Daphne!

Vomit Your Sins Out

2009-08-11T03:39:00.013+08:00

I'm gonna start off this post with a warning. Please do not ever attempt to consume the Iced Milk Tea over at E Hub's Hong Kong Cafe. It's toxic.

What you see may not be what it seems.

If I don't wake up from my sleep tomorrow, you'll know what killed me. Yes scoff all you want, I know it's hard to understand why I can survive a motorbike accident but yet get myself eliminated by a cup of Iced Milk Tea. But hey shit happens, and my guess is that they used some expired milk for my drink. Caused me to vomit for the first and second time in my life. (Twice!)

If you don't include the times I vomitted because of alcohol and supersized pills.

To think I can finally finish an upsized Extra Value Meal for once. Double fillet-o-fish somemore. I guess I probably managed to digest only 1/3 before the rest went to the toilet bowl. I'm sorry that the toilet cleaner has to clean up my mess but I swear I tried my best to get my vomit on target. It's just that it's not as easy as peeing, damn it.

I'll never understand why those anorexic people can force themselves to vomit what they've eaten. And on a regular basis, which is the crazy part. Why would they wanna taste what they've swallowed down again, except that this time round, it's in a liquified form? Like in my case, fillet-o-fish + seaweed fries dipped in curry sauce + probably some gastric acid.

As if the bittertaste of the vomit wasn't enough, now my chest hurts as well. Feels like something is blocked or something and it hurts whenever I take deep breaths. Oh man, I hope it goes away soon. But if I don't make it, please hand my $85 OGL pay over to my Dad. And yeah tell Leonard I've used up his pay on Vietnam brides. Appreciate it.

On hindsight, I think somebody is trying to punish me for feigning my ignorance at something I already know. Somebody up there in the heavens. I'm sorry that I've sinned, but I've got my just deserts already and please be fair and punish the rest too. I can help you name them.

Mr Chief Culprit, Leong Jun Wei
Mr Act-Cannot-Act-But-Actually-Can-Act, Chua Wei Jie
Chao Recruits, Kenneth Phang and Wong Jian Rong

Oh wait Mr Buddha, I've got their pictures too.

Hope it helps.

National Day

2009-08-10T03:59:00.009+08:00

I'm supposed to be asleep right now and according to my schedule, I'm 2 hours behind time and probably more after I finish this entry. Yes, I'm trying to cultivate a healthy habit by sleeping before the clock strikes 2 am. As usual, I'll tell myself that I'll start tomorrow.. and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.. and you get my drift.

~~Today~~ Yesterday, was National Day. This sounds un-patriotic but damn, I don't feel anything about it anymore. While lovey dovey couples are snuggling with each other over at Marina Barrage while waiting for the fireworks, and parents instructing their children to say the Pledge together with them at exactly 8.22pm, I'm doing my nation proud by ensuring there are taxis for everybody.

Yes, I've been working like a loser yesterday while everybody is high five-ing each other for remembering how to say the Pledge. Yeah, big deal. Would you forgo $56 bucks just to see how exaggerating some people's faces can get when they are turned on by some fighter jets?

Whoa! Look at that plane!

Well, at least that's how I felt initally. It's only till I saw the highlights of this year's NDP on teevee that I realised what I've been missing. It surprises me really, when you see everybody taking the Pledge together, looking stern and actually understanding what they are pledging about, it gives me goosebumps. Makes me feel like saying it out loud too and ~~gyrate my booty to the tune of the National Anthem.~~

So, together you and me, let's hope Letty returns to Singapore permanently before Singapore turns like say 50 years old?

Majulah Singapura!

2009-08-07T22:34:00.012+08:00

E-mail or Ewww-mail? You don't mess with the... CraftCadet

Nothing much happened today. I slept at roughly 10am, dreamt that I flew off a building and upon impact, woke up at around 1.45pm. The trauma kept me awake till it was 3.30pm when I managed to hurl myself off another building again, except that I fell all the way till it was 8.30pm this time. And this is what improper sleep does to you. It messes up your head.

But it is going to end soon! Today is the day when I finally kiss midnight shifts goodbye. No more staying up, no more finding things to do, no more eating the same crap over and over again, but hopefully I'll find some way to continue blogging at home. I certainly like what I've managed so far.

So does the baby.

Like I mentioned yesterday, you don't mess with someone who loves her secondary school very much (cheryl_supernass@hotmail.com) if you wish to stay clear of trouble. Being someone who finds sadistic joy being in trouble, I did and thus have to change my beloved email address. And lo and behold, my 2nd email address!

xxcraftcadetxx@hotmail.com

Don't ask me why there's this xx[insert word]xx thingy. I've got no freaking idea why I put it there. Apparently I thought it was cool and I suppose it signalled the start of my obsession with long email addresses. Nevertheless, this email address has a history too, albeit not as scandalous as "junrenfigo@hotmail.com".

I was pretty crazy about two things during my secondary 1 & 2 days. One of them is NCC, which I suppose is the highlight of my secondary school life. I always felt that the lanyard (red and white) looks pretty cool on the No. 4 uniform and it didn't help that only staff sergeants can wear them for it made me wanted to attain it more.

Well it's supposed to look cooler.

Anyway with that, I was so enthusiastic about NCC that the word "cadet" refused to leave my thoughts when I brainstormed for a new email address.

Something had to go with cadet and I had trouble thinking of one. It couldn't be xxjunrencadetxx because it's WTF. And you know when puberty starts, suddenly all the girls are beautiful and you start viewing them in a totally different light. It was also this period when my Pikachu went to hell along with Blastoise, Charizard, Mewtwo, Articuno and Butterfree. But before I discarded all my Pokeballs in the bin, I went to visit Nurse Joy a couple of times. Somehow, she became pretty out of the sudden.

Puppy love was the norm then. But xxlovecadetxx, xxromanticadetxx and xxcupidangelcadetxx doesn't sound right either does it? I can't have an email address that has pervert written all over it. The XXX thing doesnt help too.

Other than NCC, the other thing I was crazy about was Renewal, a now defunct MMORPG. Till now, I've never managed to find another game that could rival the experiences and the friendships I made in the game. There were mainly three job classes for this game; Warrior, Magician and Craftsman. No prizes for guessing which job class I chose. Heh, I was the top craftsman in Singapore okay. Top in making armoury, weapons, mining, farming and making bread.

No, I'm not kidding. Serious.

As you can see, "craft" is a five letter word that starts with C and so does "cadet" (Duh.) And this can only mean one thing. You have to put them together! And viola, the lovechild spawned is none other than xxcraftcadetxx@hotmail.com (this paragraph is top notched lame, i know)

As cool as it sounded, it didn't sound very nice short-formed. (I used "craftcadet" as my nickname in Renewal) You see, me and my Renewal guild mates used to meet up quite frequently last time for outings and stuff like that. And although it's quite stupid, we don't call each other by our real names. In fact, we call each other by our In-Game-Names. So some of the more memorable ones are FrostBlade, Mystique, l33tmynah and 5erene. There was this guy named FLPJ too. I know it sounds stupid but hey it stands for Fun, Laughter, Peace and Joy.

With mine being CraftCadet with a rather lengthy 3 syllabes to it, the shortform is naturally just CC. But the way these guild members of mine like to pronounce it to di siao me, it could only be sissy, sissy and sissy.

And I hated that.

2009-08-06T02:10:00.000+08:00

E-mail or Ewww-mail? How it all Began.

You know what is the toughest thing about blogging? Or rather trying to keep a blog going? It's finding things, interesting things, to talk about regularly. As you know, I've been working quite a lot lately and the most exciting thing that can happen in Transcab is when there are complaints and lost reports. And I just received a call from an old man complaining about something in Hokkien. He wanted to talk, I didn't want to listen, and thus he's currently still talking "with me" while I'm typing this. ;)

So there isn't any exciting events lately nor do I feel emo right now, so I guess the only option is to pen down my thoughts which, by the way, are getting increasingly random. And the idea of today's topic came to me when I was inputting my as-long-as-my-brother-down-there email address into hotmail.com. Yes, it's about email addresses.

Throughout my relatively boring 20 years of being on this planet, minus a few years learning how to walk, run and fly, a few more years watching Power Doo and Scooby Rangers, I've had quite a few email addresses. 5 and a half to be exact. (I'll explain what "and a half" means)

So I guess I was around 10 or so, when I got my first email address.

junrenfigo@hotmail.com

Ta-da! Not bad for the first one I would say. I have seen a lot more crappier ones in my life I swear. In fact, some people I know are using emails now that are worst than what I created when I was 10. (I'll leave that for the later posts)

This email address has history man. I spent decades trying to think of something that is cool, awesome, has-my-name-in-it-so-that-people-know-it's-me and one that shows my love for soccer. So I took my name, and the last name of a famous footballer, Luis Figo and combined them into one. And the response to my virgin email address was phenomenal.

"Wow, that is pretty cool man JR!" was the reaction I got from the guys, and "I'm so gonna add you in MSN!" was from the girls which sad to say, I didn't pay attention much to because all I wanted then was to train my Pikachu to level 99.

And so my "cool" email address followed me to secondary school.

You know, I wasn't that much of a popular guy among the girls in secondary school because I like to make fun of them. And one fine day I made fun of the wrong one and thus had to change my email address.

There was this girl in my class and her name is Cheryl. Very nice person when not angered and demonic when angered. And her email address is cheryl_supernass@hotmail.com.

You see, this email address belongs to the select group of email addresses that needs to be read out in alphabets instead of the words itself. Because what I interpreted then, at the age of 13-14, was cheryl_SUPERBIGASS@hotmail.com. Not to help is the fact she really did have one big ass then.

Damn I hope she doesn't come across this blog of mine

And so, I went around telling my pals about what I discovered and I made fun of her with that whenever I see her. It didn't take her long to come up with the perfect response.

junrenFEIGOU@hotmail.com... junren废狗@hotmail.com

From a dashing Luis Figo,

To a god damn 废狗,

From total coolness to an utter pile of crap. In case you don't know what fei gou means, it means useless dog in chinese. (I think) So with that, I had chants of "junrenFEIGOU, junrenFEIGOU, junrenFEIGOU" greeting me whenever I see her and her girl gang.

It had to be stopped. And thus, the email address needed to be changed.

--

In case you're wondering what the hell is nass, it's Ngee Ann Secondary School. Duh.

And oh my god, she is still using the same email address.

2009-08-04T01:09:00.000+08:00

Talk about first impressions

Sadly, I'm back in the office at such hours again. Ended up listening to my manager's plea that she doesn't have enough time to plan for another person to replace me for the midnight shift. I could have insisted that I didn't want to, but then I start to think about the damn PSP that I lost back in May and that the pay for this 4 days will come in handy as a form of compensation to the PSP's owner. Hardly motivating, I know. But I've worked more days for nothing before. (my $600 debt) Enough about that, it's one of those "memory lanes" that I do not wish to walk into again.

I was purchasing some stuff at 7-11 right before heading off to work today and there was this not-so-friendly looking guy in his early 20s, dressed in singlet and bermudas and had his body filled up with tatoos. I overheard him asking the cashier if she has any idea where the super glue was. The cashier then pointed it out to him where it was and he had that relieved look on his face.

And it's amazing how fast and possibly inaccurate that I made an assumption about him. "He must be a glue-sniffer" was the first thing that popped into my mind. Makes me feel guilty how I stereotyped him. Tatoos + unfriendly looking + glue = glue sniffer.

But to my credit, I started reasoning with myself that he might not be a glue sniffer. Firstly, isn't super glue a tad too expensive to be used for glue-sniffing? Secondly, he might have broken something in his house and it needs to be fixed asap? And thirdly, he might be using it to fill up somebody's house's keyhole because the fella didn't pay up what he owed? He might be a loan shark instead! Tatoos + unfriendly looking + glue = loan shark harassing people.

It's indeed not easy to not stereotype people.

Speaking of first impressions, I personally do feel that I do not impress people upon the first time meeting them. I've gotten that I look like a smoker a lot. (which is so untrue because I will never smoke, sumpa kuajikualampa). I've gotten I look like a slacker too. (somehow I find this hard to deny) and a lot more negative stuff. Even my ex-boss said I wasn't presentable enough to meet clients. But presentable enough to do an awful lot of sai gang. Ouch.

But hey, it's just that these people haven't got to know me yet. Those who got to know me afterwards all say the same thing about me. That I'm the nicest, sweetest, and possibly the most deluded person on Earth.

However, it's true when they say "How many people do you think will give you the opportunity to show them the real you?" Not many, I'm afraid. Which is why first impressions is so important. And besides you feel good when you look good.

I can't remember the last time I felt good looking good though. It doesn't help when you have to wear a helmet that flattens your hair so much so that it makes you look ridiculously stupid. It doesn't help that my sleeping patterns is so varied that it leaves me looking as though I haven't slept for days. I swear I have that not-enough-sleep look in all my photos in Facebook.

It's amazing how easy I can achieve that "get out of bed" look. Unintentionally of course.

And I'm getting skinnier by the minute, so much so that Wei Jie has been reminding me that I've failed to finish my food even when I leave a crumb behind.

With that, I've identified three key areas that I should work upon. My hair, my sleepy look and my physique. But with National Service looming so near ahead, who needs to impress girls and bosses when all you need to do is to hang out with some insects and ghosts in the forest?

Guess first impressions has to take a backseat for now.

2009-07-31T00:04:00.000+08:00

Is routine boring?

Somehow, I just feel a little uneasy not to blog when I'm at work. I've got no idea why but I kinda find it easier in the office to express my thoughts into words, into an untitled document in Notepad and finally copied and pasted into my blog. Of course I can only do it at such working hours when I'm all alone and there isn't much calls.

I called my manager today and apparently she needs me to stand in for the midnight shift for one or two more week. Half of me wants to say yes and another half wants to run. I know I've been whining alot about working the midnight shift and that it's unbearable like hell etc, but I'm getting used to it. And it's comforting if I have a routine.

You know, I've always been a guy who doesn't like to admit that he values stability, hates changes and likes living a life on a routine and habits. I know it's nothing to be ashamed of but you know those romance shows and novels, they like to portray attractive guys as those who's a breath of fresh air, mysterious, spontaneous and keeps people on their toes all the time. And then there's these losers who gets jilted for being boring and living a routined lifestyle in which the girls feel they are "trapped".

Okay, but I don't really know how routined (i hope there's such a word) or "habitual" I am. It's not like I must wake up at exactly 10.37am everyday and get into bed at 11.42pm. Or that I must brush my teeth from top left to bottom right all the time. Or that I must be online everyday at 9pm so that I can complete some jobs and rob some people in Mafia Wars, catch some mouse in Mouse Hunt and play Typing Maniac and hope I defeat Yuan Zheng's score.

No, it's not so bad. It's just that I can eat the same food over and over again. Just so you know, I've been eating the Bandito, whipped potato and Pepsi-change-to-Mountain Dew (KFC) for dinner for the past five days and counting. And I haven't include the same cup noodle (Korean La Bai Chai) and Pink Dolphin (Peach Flavour ONLY) that I must drink when I'm working. Not to mention I must shit with something to read or play or else I'll bleed when I shit. (just kidding)

But I like routine. I like it when I know that I'll play soccer every Tuesday and Saturday, meet up with the gang every weekend when the NS slaves book out, work every Sunday and watch the new One Piece anime episode on Monday. And I hate it when something has to change or be cancelled.

Maybe it's really boring to other people. But at least I'm "boringly" happy. Rights.

2009-07-29T00:08:00.000+08:00

Herbivorous Men

My left eyelid has been twitching ever since I woke up today. Makes me wonder if it's because I didn't sleep well enough or is it because some terrible things is about to happen. In fact something bad had already happened, I've left the bottle of Pink Dolphin at home in the fridge. Damn. Of course, it's not exactly terrible news.. unless the eye twitching is a sign that I'm turning into a herbivorous man.

I was reading the newspaper in the bathroom today (I like reading while I poop, so think twice if you want to borrow newspaper from me) and I came across an article saying that more Japanese men are turning into herbivorous males and are slowly becoming a majority.

What exactly does herbivorous means? There's the term vegetarian for humans who don't eat meat. So it can't be that. Well there's actually nothing to do with eating habits at all. In fact it's about males who reject traditional masculinity when it comes to romance, jobs and consumption and so on and so forth.

But they aren't gay. They just lack self-confidence, like to spend time alone, like surfing the net, watch porn, play computer games, watch Prison Break and more importantly, passive about pursuing women. Passive about pursuing women... now that strikes a chord with me.

Except for the watching porn and to a lesser extent for spending time alone, that's pretty much what I am right now. Oh dear. What am I becoming?

They didn't talk about carnivorous men though. Though I suppose it's the exact opposite of herbivorous men. I would say all the lechers, paedophiles, perverts, rapists, flirts and possibly all Saggitarius males are carnivorous men. All the deviants here should be locked up together with T-Bag.

But I'm pretty sure I'm not herbivorous just yet. And I'm definitely not carnivorous and so that leaves us with the neutral, Mr Omnivorous. And you know what is the best example of an omnivorous entity?

Like what women always like to say, be it they are angry, happy, sad, excited, whatever

All men are pigs.

Maybe life would be better being a herbivore.

2009-07-28T00:32:00.000+08:00

Track and Field Part 6

Oh man, it really ain't easy living a nocturnal life. Your biological clock will be seriously screwed and you'll end up feeling tired all the time. Think it was last saturday (didn't work on friday night and saturday night),and 1 tried to sleep at around 4am (figured it was late enough and I was feeling a little tired). And guess what, I woke up 2 hours later like it's some sort of afternoon nap.

I'm not sure if it's the same for others but I never had the need to set the alarm clock whenever I was taking an afternoon nap (took them quite often last time). It's like you'll wake up automactically after 2 or 3 hours of sleep. The same thing happened that day, except that it happened during the night.

Left me feeling pretty fucked up really. I originally intended to wake up at 9am and ended up short at 6am. So I figured that 3 hours worth of sleep is too good to pass up on and that I should continue sleeping. But I couldn't no matter what I do! I tried to think about boring stuff but ended up finding myself marvelling at how smart Michael Scofield is. I tried to tire myself out by twisting and rolling around the bed only to find myself getting more energetic. And I got so desperate that I actually attempted to count sheeps (lost count at 200 plus).

It was till 7am that I realised that everything I do wasn't working. Wouldn't it be nice that human beings have an on/off button that put us into sleep mode whenever we wish? Well in the end I decided to just wake up and face the brand new day.

Back to how shitty I'm feeling right now. The above is how it all began. Nevertheless, the main entry here is to round up my exciting and thrilling TnF life that I had. Righttt.

Yeah I guess it's pretty obvious that I decided to call it quits prematurely when I was around Secondary 3. I was dying to quit and totally lost interest in training. All because the coaches decided to review their training strategy. They decided to group long distance runners together, short distance runners together and no hopers together.

I've got quite a few close friends in Tnf actually. It's pretty amazing how much people can bond together if they undergo tough training together. People will all suddenly develop a common interest which is to curse and swear at the coach for being such a stuck-up and strict old geezer. And it's funny how some people can curse so well. That was during my first two years when the coaches decided to use a more "general" approach for training.

So we all got splited up. I got stuck in short distance running where everybody was competitive as hell and just wasn't on the same wavelength as me. Others went to long distance and the rest went to "no hopers". Though I wasn't exactly training alone, it felt as though I was and that effectively drained away all the determination I had in me to train.

Coupled with the fact that I got a "stead" (that's what they call it then) and was so besotted with her that I needed to spend time with her all the time, which is impossible if I were to remain in TnF (3 days training a week), I decided to end my relationship with Tnf, though I suppose I could have done it better.

I've actually bumped into my coach a few times in school and I never had the courage to apologize to him for putting his faith in me. I can't exactly describe the look on his face when he saw me, just that it was enough to make me regret that I left TnF over such silly reasons now that I reminicise about it.

Oh well, time flies and it's now more than 5 years since then. And I've decided (say is say lah) to train as intensively as I did then in the coming months to prepare myself for National Service. Wish me luck..

Because I will need it.

2009-07-24T00:33:00.001+08:00

Track and Field Part 5

Kenneth called me earlier today and apparently he doesn't seem to enjoy his time serving his country. Well, who would anyway? But yet I'm dying to get started with National Service. Maybe cause 2 years later, everything will revert back to normal and that is when I'll get started on achieving what I've set out to achieve.

Well, speaking of my maiden race, out of the other 7 competitors I was competing with, I ended up 3rd which I'm pretty satisfied with. But being 3rd wasn't enough to secure a place in the next qualifying round. Unfortunately, my timing (13 seconds) wasn't good enough. It can't be helped I guess, coz afterall the people participating in the Nationals are all freaks. Nevertheless, my coach was pretty happy with me.

I didn't have much time to get over my disappointment for the 4x100m C division was next. Strangely, I can't remember anything about the qualifying races. But what I do know is that we made it to the finals - which is possibly the greatest thing I've achieved in my 2 and a half years in TnF.

I remember the baton training though, due to the fact that we practised baton training loads and loads of times. Often people will question what's so difficult about passing a baton from one guy to another. Well, the Americans (Tnf powerhouse) had two 4x100 teams (male and female) disqualified because they dropped the baton. I still remember how shocked the "TnF world" was when it happened.

But what is so difficult exactly? Well, I would say it is pretty tough to get the timing and coordination right. Say the 2nd runner in the 4x100m race. He has to pace himself to receive the baton when the 1st runner is at his fastest, and he has to be fast enough to deliver the baton over to the 3rd runner (before he sprints off). So if the 2nd runner is too kan chiong and run out of the "baton passing zone" before the 1st runner can pass the baton over to him, the white flag will be raised.

There are many ways to get disqualified, but I wouldn't elaborate too much about it. Thus, the only way to minimize the chance for us to be disqualified is via practice and more practice. I was the 4th runner, so I kinda had it easy. What I needed to do is listen for "Up!" and swing my arm backwards with my palm opened, grab the baton as tight as possible once I feel it and head towards the finishing line.

But how can a team not have at least a sprinter in the 100m finals and still qualify for the 4x100m relay finals. I would say it's a combination of luck and more luck that we actually managed to get into the finals really. We barely made it because one of the top team crashed out due to disqualification (dropped the baton apparently) during the qualifying race. And so we sneaked in.

Of course, we didn't have much hope of getting a medal in the finals. But we still had an objective, which is to not finish last. I would rather not qualify than finish last in the finals frankly speaking. And we didn't thankfully, though I think I let my team down. I failed to maintain the 5th spot when the baton was passed to me and finished 6th. But still, 6th in the whole Singapore is no mean feat.

It's sad that I didn't go on to achieve better things when a combination of various factors resulted in me quitting TnF. Though I feel a little regrettable about it, but if given the chance to undo my decision. I still wouldn't know if I would really do so.

2009-07-23T12:01:00.001+08:00

Track and Field Part 4

Just as I was about to type out the fact that I'm actually looking forward to work, I got a 10 mins long complaint call. Oh well I'm used to it. Life is never a smooth ride. But that's what makes it interesting, just like how Michael Scofield is facing countless problems in getting out of prison (season 1). I think that guy must have done many sinful deeds in his previous life to warrant such bad luck in his current life. Nevertheless, I'm actually looking forward to work because of Prison Break.

It's hard enduring not watching Prison Break at home which is largely due to the fact that I'm saving all of them to be watched while I'm working so as to make time pass easier. It's just slightly less tormenting than watching 1 episode per week on TV seriously. I believe those who watched Prison Break will agree that it's a show that is hard to not watch. Okay never mind, back to topic.

Back to my TnF story. It's not like I'm Usain Bolt or some skinny bloke from Africa - for there's absolutely no way I'll ever be as good as them.

But still, it is my life story. Yeah so there I was thinking that I'm groomed to be the next long distance superstar that will match the skinny bloke from Africa and running along the field in school on day for training (this happened in Secondary 2). Towards the end of the run, I could hear my coach shout "Sprint!" and almost immediately, I found myself willing myself to make my legs move faster and my strides longer. Though I didn't mean it, or maybe I did out of sarcasm, I said "shiok lah" to one of my pals at the chin up bar area.

Apparently my coach heard it. And so he summoned me and he said

Mr Teo: Jun Ren, do you like sprinting?

Me (thinking it was some sort of trick question, and that there is only one answer): Err.. yeah, why not?

Mr Teo: I'm thinking of training you to be a sprinter. You can run. Do you want to focus on short distance running?

Me (I was still young and only 14 years old, still a kid without much guts): Err.. yeah, okay

And that's how my sprinting journey began.

Truth is, I enjoyed sprinting. You don't feel like "I'm gonna die if I take another step" when you're sprinting as compared to long distance running. All you need to do is conserve all your energy and let it all out when the pistol goes off. I like the explosiveness, I like how your vision blurs out and all zoomed in at the finishing line and I like being fast.

But I hated training. In fact ever since I agreed to be a sprinter, my training intensified. I still remember while the others were running a round through Bedok Reservoir, there I was sprinting up a hill, stop, walk back down to where I started, and repeat. For god knows how many times. And only I needed to do it, this special training. And I got drafted into representing Ngee Ann for the Nationals.

I can't remember where the heats were held, all I can recall is that it's somewhere far away. It's pretty "prestigious", considering that we are required to participate in heats and qualify for the finals that were held in the National Stadium. I was chosen to compete for 100m and 4x100m relay C division.

I was nervous alright. Way too nervous for my own good. When I asked one of my senior (who's also a sprinter how to relax and keep himself mentally strong because he always looks calm and composed. And his reply was "I don't know sia. Actually I also very nervous. Just hope for the best lor." Of course, it didn't help matters.

And there I was, decked in spike shoes (for more grip on the track), blue running attire that reveals more flesh that I would prefer, floppy hair and a 10x10cm sticker pasted on my thigh (can't remember what number it was). I was whisked into the holding area and all the competitors were seated in straight files. I was extremely nervous at this point, no thanks to the aircon and the fact that everybody looks "fast" and intimidating. I can hear the firing of the pistol, followed by loud and fast steps, and eventually ending in cheers. The atmosphere in the holding room was increasingly icy as well, but it didn't last long for my maiden race in Nationals was starting.

I walked towards my lane (can't remember what lane it was), steadied myself on the running blocks, heard the marshall yell "Sediah!", arched my legs and then the pistol went off.
--

I'm suddenly overwhelmed to play PSP. lol.

2009-07-22T00:15:00.000+08:00

Track and Field Part 3

Seems like I wasn't able to continue the one post a day thingy. Well, when there is a fabulous book such as The Time Traveler's Wife to read and an equally fabulous show in Prison Break to watch, it is pretty much inevitable that blogging has to take a backseat. Now that I'm done with The Time Traveler's Wife, I can return to blogging. Though I very much would like to blog about the book that I just read, I figured out I should finish up my TnF story first. Heh.

Yes, the Combined School Meet. It's the closest thing I'll ever get that's similar to the Olympics in my entire life I suppose. Unless I decide to join TnF in university, which is pretty much unlikely. The Combined School Meet is an annual thing by the way, and I do think that my school holds the event in a pretty high regard considering that the fact that the other schools taking part are Chung Cheng High, Dunman High and the other school should be Temasek. During my era, those schools are all doing better than Ngee Ann academically wise, but in the annual Combined School Meet, it has always been Ngee Ann that has been dominating. Not too sure about now though.

Adding to the "prestige" value of this event is the fact that it was held in National Stadium - the largest stadium in Singapore. Also, all students of the four respective schools are required to attend the Combined School Meet. Though the amount of MCs tendered in for this event is always unusually large, the attendance is still pretty good for 2/3 of the stadium is filled up. There will be cheers, there will be jeers and there will be girls looking at you.

Or at least I hope. But the more I dwell about it, the least likely there was any considering the fact that I didn't do very well in my first Combined School Meet in Secondary 1. I remember I got chosen to represent my school in C Division (Sec 1 and 2s) 1500m race together with 5 others I suppose. So yeah, 24 people fighting it out.

I did pretty okay in terms of personal timing. But against the likes of the Secondary 2s who had a year of TnF training, there wasn't much of a chance for me and 2 of my pals at all. Afterall, the coach was saying that he put us out there just for us to soak in the experience. And soak it all in we did. I can still remember when I was running in front of the section where all the Ngee Ann people were seated. I could hear the noise level increased pretty dramatically and the effect it had on me was magical. I got an superb adrenaline rush which certainly added a spring to my step. But of course, it wasn't enough for I finished in the middle if my memory doesn't fail me. And the top 3 spots were taken up by my seniors.

Another memorable event that I took part in my first year was my school's annual cross country race. Though I would like to jog along with my friends in the fun run, all the track and field athletes were required to participate in the competitive run. It was held in Bedok Reservoir, a place that I absolutely loathe going but familiar with. I did pretty well considering I was up against people from Secondary 1 to Secondary 5, and ended up being 13th.

I took part in two more cross country competitions, both national level and the venue were Sentosa and MacRitchie respectively. For Sentosa, the biggest challenge was running on sand and there were plenty of uphills and downhills. And MacRitchie, it's simply running on jungle trails. I guess that explains the meaning of "Cross Country" huh. I can't remember what position I came in, and that means I probably didn't do well enough for me to remember.

Due to the fact that my coach decided to put me in the 1500m race and some of above cross country competitions, I kinda thought that my TnF life will be all about stamina, endurance and lasting the distance in long distance running. But thankfully, it wasn't.

--

I can't believe I've got so much crap to talk about my TnF experiences.

2009-07-17T00:50:00.000+08:00

Track and Field Part 2

I'm kinda getting used to this nocturnal life of mine already. So much so I agreed to continue this lifestyle till the end of this month, tentatively. I wouldn't mind continuing till the end of August too actually. Oh well, I'll think about it later. Whatever it is, September will be the month I'll get my fitness back to tip-top condition. Just like my secondary school days..

Yes, I was pretty fit during my secondary school days, no thanks to the tough TnF training. Remember I was saying about this Y person? Apparently, he quitted after the first training session, citing that he couldn't handle both basketball and TnF at the same time. So he quitted both of them. Oh well.

Training was indeed tough alright; we needed to train 3 days in a week, namely every Monday, Wednesday and Fridays. On top of that, I've got my NCC to worry about on Saturdays. I had not much of a life actually. Though I had a serious crush on the girl, whom eventually turned out to be my first love, it was all training for me at first.

It takes a hell lot of determination and commitment to face every single training. Well, all our trainings were usually not held in our school itself(lack of space apparently) and every Mondays and Wednesdays were held in Bedok Reservoir. Fridays over at Meridien Junior College/Tampines Stadium. So we had to travel, just to train. Also, it doesn't help that training was hell.

I can still remember how a typical Bedok Reservoir training is like. First, we need to warm-up by freaking complete a round in Bedok Resevoir. Yes, 4.8 bloody km just for warm-up. Most people would be glad to just complete a round. But not for my seniors apparently, some of them were required to complete two rounds. Just for the record, my personal best was roughly 23 minutes.

Our training is usually 3 hours long. So the first hour was simply "warming-up". And the other two hours are all spent on completing drills and whining. Though I can't exactly remember what were the drills we did, but it certainly was no less tiring than the "warming-up".

Friday trainings were more boring somewhat. It's simply training on the tracks that's all. And I never liked completing 5km on the tracks. Too repetitive for me I suppose. But I liked the competing sessions though. It's pretty exciting seeing your seniors battling it out and gossiping about who's faster and so forth. Meanwhile, my coach Mr Teo will decide who will represent our school for the annual Combined School Meet.

I can still remember my first Combined School Meet for it was the day I realised what competition is all about.

--

Guess I'll leave it for another day.

2009-07-16T01:03:00.000+08:00

Track and Field

I'm surprised that I'm still continuing this; staring into the computer and trying to form words to make an blog entry.. for the 4th day in a row. Just as surprised when I found out that Leonard blogs and that Daphne joined Track and Field. But I need to blog, or rather I think I should for I believe it may turn out to be one of those things that I'll regret 50 years down the road if I didn't.

But why? Well, it's beneficial on many fronts actually. Firstly, I get to keep in touch with writing though my grasp of the English Language isn't that good. Just a look at my Chinese writing tells me all I need to know about not "keeping in touch" with writing. Secondly, I get to show my inner self through blogging and people can get to know me better... if there are people who are interested. And most importantly, I get to record down my thoughts and feelings of that particular day or moment which I'm sure 50 years later (assuming I live that long), I'll be reading with a smile. In fact, I do smile when I read those entries that I blogged 2 years back. Though it's throughly embarassing, it beats having nothing to help you reflect on your life 50 years later.

I met up with Jun Wei and Daphne today for dinner at Old Airport Road. I thought i was hungry as always and ended up not finishing what seemed like a small bowl of wanton mee. Nevertheless, it was nice to meet human beings after being confined within the four walls of Transcab for so long. We were chatting as usual until Jun Wei asked me how long I think Daphne will stay in Track and Field. Though I don't remember giving an answer, but I do know it takes a lot of commitment to stay in CCA such as Track and Field. Afterall, I've had my own experiences in Track and Field too.

I never thought of joining Track and Field actually. There wasn't any soccer offered in Ngee Ann Secondary, so I was conned into making NCC my first choice. I have to say that NCC did a great con job during the CCA orientation day. Not that I really regret joining NCC actually.

Anyway, we had our first PE lesson in which we were all decked in ugly PE attire. I remember all of us got quite a shock when we were told that we would have to run 2.4km. I was pretty fit then, so it wasn't much of an issue to me and in fact I was already aiming to be the fastest. I've always been competitive, especially so during my secondary school years.

So we ran, and I came in second, beaten by a guy who's supposedly quite famous in TnF. I've always been first in primary school and though it sucks to be beaten, it would have been okay if Y (let's just name the guy Y) was humble. But reality is always harsh and he turned out to be an arrogant jerk. I hated him then (though we aren't exactly on talking terms, but he's now one of my mafia in Mafia Wars, ha), and wanted to be the faster one next time round.

And so our PE teacher (who happened to be in charge of both NCC and TnF), came to talk to a few of us and asked if we would like to join TnF. I didn't take up the offer initially due to the fact that I've already got NCC, and I wasn't sure I can juggle two CCAs and my studies well. Besides, NCC is good training anyway.

I didn't join until 2 weeks later or so I think. And the reason is very foolish. It's simply because Y joined two CCA, basketball and TnF. Being the competitive me, how can I NOT join now?

--

Too much writing already. I needa play some psp right now.

2009-07-15T00:33:00.000+08:00

Life as a Transcab Operator Part 3

It's my 3rd consecutive midnight shift in a row over in Transcab and I'll never understand how a full-time midnight staff can endure such a life. Staying awake while everybody is sleeping and sleeping while everybody is up and awake. Thank goodness it's all just temporary but there are still 2 more nights like these for this week. Oh well. Time will pass, it always does.

As expected of being the 3rd most senior staff in Transcab, I've tried out all the shifts already. Morning, afternoon, midnight.. I've been through all of them before. Well, if I have to choose which one I'll rather work, I'll probably choose the midnight shift - only if it's not too many days in a row.

Morning shift is the worst, well for obvious reasons. I've never been an early riser and I have always been sore with the fact that Big Breakfast, Hotcakes and Sausage McMuffins are only offered till 11am. (I'll only get to eat them when I ton overnight/work midnight shift). And I've always felt the old chinese "zao sui zao qi shen ti hao" saying was bull shit. What's the issue as long as I get ample 8 hours of rest? (As long I don't sleep too late and end up waking up with the whole day gone)

The working hours for morning shift are 7am to 3pm. 7 godly am. What time must i be in bed to live a healthy lifestyle? 10pm? Enough said. Even Channel 8 news is shown at 10pm. Goes to show that people are not meant to sleep at 10pm.

I think majority of my time with Transcab are spent during the afternoon shift, 3pm-11pm. I've actually met quite a few people who would rather take the morning shift over afternoon shift. Though it puzzles me sometimes, but it does make a little sense when they say "You can go out after work if you do morning shift, but afternoon shift you can't." Yup quite true, but still not for me, I can't put myself to sleep at 10pm even if I count a million sheeps in my mind.

Midnight shift (11pm-7am) is undoubtedly the best. Most people would choose like say 10am or 5pm as the time they feel most energetic and awake. For me, I would say 2am or 3am is the time I'm most productive. It has always been like this actually. During my 3 years in Temasek Polytechnic, most of the assignments I have are usually done at night when my Dad and Sis are sleeping and when it's all peaceful and quiet. It's usually the time when I feel creative, and yeah, even Letty's departure poem is written around that time.

And most importantly, there are very few calls during midnight shift. Once again, for obvious reasons. So the main problem here is to find ways to keep myself awake for the whole night. Oh by the way, my manager is extremely particular about people sleeping on their job, yeah even midnight shift. It's usually sleep and get sacked kind of concept around here. (In case you're wondering how my manager knows if I'm sleeping, there are 3 surveillance cameras staring at me right now)

And the solution is to bring food, videos and games to work. It's always cup noodles for the food for its simple and cheap. (Though i've been eating the same one all the time, I'm just so boring) and I'm watching Slam Dunk for the video part. Very nice anime, I've got no idea why I left it so late to watch this anime. Jun Wei is right, what have I been doing during my secondary school years? I'll leave that for another blog post someday. And I'm currently playing Pro Evolution Soccer, Become A Legend mode on PSP. Together with the New Paper, these are the "friends" I have that keeps me going through the night.

Oh, and of course blogging. This entry helped me to burn 1 hour today. Pretty good, considering I have plenty of time to burn. What should I do now, read, watch anime or play PSP? Or just mope about the fact that it would be nice to have a girlfriend now. Hmm...

2009-07-14T00:45:00.000+08:00

Life as a Transcab Operator Part 2

Hey I've got some great news today. I'm actually early for 3 minutes! Come to think of it, I would like to feel that I'm a person who's usually late when I don't get in the way of others. So what does that mean? For example I'm working midnight shift at the moment, and it's only me for the whole night. So in the event I'm late, someone has to stand in for me till I've reached and it wouldn't be nice to delay someone from going home. Goes to show I do have a consicence afterall huh.

People often ask me how's working in Transcab like and the answer I usually I give them is the typical boring answer of "okay lor". Truth is, it is that boring. To put it simply, it's like talking on the phone with people you don't wish to talk to. So much for taking up Diploma in Hospitality & Tourism Management, I never felt the need to go the extra mile (GEMS) while working here.

So here's how an ideal call's like:

Phone rings (I like to test the caller's resolve by picking the call up as late as possible)

Me: Morning/Afternoon/Evening Transcab (politeness depends on my mood)

Caller: I would like to book a taxi now

Me: Sure where is your pickup location?

Caller: Marina Square taxi stand (I love it when people call for a taxi in places with taxi stands, coz drivers will find them easier and there'll be less trouble)

Me: Going to?

Caller: Tampines

Me: Sure please hold the line for the taxi number

And I'll send them through an IVR system in which when a taxi accepts the job, the taxi number will be given to the passenger in a rather freaky recorded voice. And they'll meet, make love and job completed. But life isn't always rosy and nice and most of the time, I'll get crap calls like these.

Me: Morning/Afternoon/Evening Transcab

Crap Caller 1: Yes. (I seriously hate it when they just say yes. Yes what? Yes WHAT?! Aren't you the one who's calling?)

Crap Caller 2: Hello is that transcab? (Yes I just said Morning Transcab you asshole)

Crap Caller 3: Wei? Ni hui jiang hua yu ma? (Not that I don't like to speak Chinese, but English is easier while calling for taxi booking. )

Crap Caller 4: Can I report a lost item/make a complain? (The worst of the lot)

And there are plenty of people that will just hang up the call after I asked them to hold the line in which minutes later, the above cycle repeats.

I think I shall stop today's entry here and hopefully I'll continue tomorrow. Think it'll be a trilogy.

2009-07-13T01:14:00.002+08:00

Life as a Transcab Operator

During the estimated 3 year gap in which I did not manage to publish a single post in this blog, I've had quite a few part time jobs in various places. Though none of the experiences stood out particularly in terms of excitement, one did in terms of the amount of time I spent working. And it's none other than being a taxi operator in a rather small-but-getting-bigger taxi company, Transcab.

If I were to tell people that I'm actually the 3rd most senior staff in the entire call centre, I think most people will be pretty surprised. Well, it is true though. I've been here for slightly more than 2 years and I've worked with plenty of people. But none of them lasted as long as me. I'm not praising myself for being committed and loyal to the company though come to think of it, I actually am. Truth is, my manager did not have much luck in hiring the right people + working here sucks = me being 3rd most senior staff at the tender age of 20.

Let's just look at some reasons why they left intentionally/unintentionally:

One retired citing exhaustion and became a property agent.

One got sacked because he was reading newspaper (Though the truth has always been because he diao the lady boss when she walked in. Quite poor thing really, this guy didn't know she was the lady boss.)

One resigned because her lover made a din at the company's entrance. (This woman is actually married with grandkids and possibly older than my dad)

And many others left because of school/stress/sex scandals.

So why am I still here despite the above colourful reasons why people left? The pay isn't high, it's just $6 per year for weekdays and $7 for weekends. I can't even read newspaper without getting sacked. I can no longer surf the Internet because the management freaking disabled everything. And I have to stare at the computer even if there are no calls!

But people adapt. I may curse and swear when it gets tough, but I do feel that I adapt pretty well to situations, no matter how dire it may seem. One thing that helped is the fact that I'm lazy. So instead of looking for other jobs, I'll just take the shit and get my $6 pay. Also, it helps that my manager is a very nice person and till now she hasn't sacked me despite me being late almost all the time. Seriously, I can't remember the last time I was punctual.

Man, it's quite an uphill struggle to blog sometimes. My stomach is growling, my PSP is whining, my slam dunk is waiting and this entry is actually being done while I'm working. This entry will be continued... soon I hope.

2009-05-21T02:24:00.010+08:00

the redemption of althalus

The previous entry reads Friday, September 29, 2006. And the current date reads Thursday, 21 May, 2009

It is with a tinge of regret that I failed to continue blogging. I've always felt that blogging helps me to retain my memories, for I believe that they will disappear through the passage of time. It's amazing how a short little caption on a small little photo can evoke such intense feelings in me. So much so that I've returned to this poor little neglected blog of mine.

Yep, I was looking through some of the photos, some that I could not help but ended up looking through. But photos of her will remain as photos, for now that is.

It has been close to 4 years since my last update. A lot had happened. Good things, bad things, memorable events and many things that i wish I could forget. I shall now go through my memory bank.

Ranked in no particular order:

I'm single, again.

Yup, my almost 3 year relationship with a very special girl whom will always have a place in my heart ended. Though it was considered amicable, it was a very tough episode of my life as well. Thankfully, I had the OGL people for support.

We always made sure that we were never angry at each other before either one of us went to sleep. We called each other every night unless one of us went overseas. We traveled together from a Haro bicycle to a Spark 135 motorcycle. Of course, we had our fair share of petty disagreements and arguments. We were happy together, or so I thought.

I never wanted it to end. I never felt it would end. I always thought she'll be the one I'll bring to Malaysia for my relatives (mother's side) to see. I could even imagine their reaction. "Wah, zhe me mei ah", with their cantonese-accented chinese. I thought she'll be my significant other forever. And I visualized her as my wife perfectly.

But it was not meant to be. We did not live as individuals long enough to fully understand the gravity of the word "commitment". To let a 3 year relationship go wasn't easy. But moving on, we did. And I sincerely hope for her well-being and happiness for the future.

I lost close to $600 on soccer betting.

One of the hugest mistakes ever in my life. Though I'm still pretty much a gambling addict, I made a vow to myself that I will never gamble with money that I do not have.

I actually borrowed money from my aunt, sister, and even my ex-girlfriend to pay my debts. And during this period I had my motorbike instalment to pay as well. I've never felt as broke before and it was truly a low point of my life

I got into trouble with the law.

Thankfully there wasn't any criminal record. I added this in so that I will remember it for life. In fact, I think I probably will consider it as the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life. Okay maybe one of them.

I got my motorbike.

I'm surprised that I haven't took a photo of my bike at all! As much as I would like to not think about it, the truth is I've always felt that my bike didn't look cool, or rather did not make me look cool. Furthermore, I've attached a very unflattering box to it.

But its true, I would rather have a box with my raincoat in it then getting drenched in the rain. Gentle drops of rain at walking pace can turn into shards of glass at 100km/hr. It's that painful.

I actually begun this entry quite a while ago but never bothered to finish it. Though a lot more things happened, I should just leave it as it is right now.

2006-09-29T23:53:00.000+08:00

a wonder

Today was a fabulous day. Ker Hui's drop dead gorgeous, that kinda caused me to actually feel self conscious. I admit I'm lucky to have such a pretty girlfriend, but i don't wanna be labelled as an extremely "heng" guy, just "heng" will do. =D And i guess its time to upgrade my ward robe. I'm stuck with the same clothes for quite some time already.

I certainly do wish for more of these kind of days. The holidays are somewhat draggy and monotonous for me, and days like these certainly brighten up my life. But as fate has it, these days are pretty hard to come by. I'm always free. And due to that, my beloved has decided to place me at the LAST of her priority list! Geez. I've gotta start acting busy! =D (but at the end of day, she's just gonna say she don't care. ah well. tough luck. haha)

Anyways, there is soccer tomorrow. Been ages since we've got 10 people who wanna play soccer. So yeap. The rain can come on Sunday instead. =)

It was great hearing you reminiscising about your past. It kinda got me thinking. Will my presence in your life have a great impact? Should anything happen to me, will I ever be forgotten?

2006-09-25T03:15:00.000+08:00

i'm all about loving you

Looking at the pages of my life
Faded memories of me and you
Mistakes you know I've made a few
I took some shots and fell from time to time
Baby, you were there to pull me through
We've been around the block a time or two
I'm gonna lay it on the line
Ask me how we've come this far
The answer's written in my eyes

Every time I look at you, baby I see something new
It takes me higher than before and it makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreaming's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been coming to
I'm all about loving you

I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've paid some dues, baby
We've been to hell and back again
Through it all you're always my best friend
For all the words I didn't say and all the things I didn't do
Tonight I'm gonna find a way

Every time I look at you, baby I see something new
It takes me higher than before and it makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreaming's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been coming to
I'm all about loving you

You can take this world away
You're everything I am
Just read the lines upon my face
I'm all about loving yooooouuuuuuuuuuuuu

I'm all about, i'm all about, i'm all about loving you

Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new
it takes me higher than before and it makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreaming just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been coming to
I'm all about loving you

All about loving you..

I will never cause you to cry again. I promise.

2006-09-23T00:10:00.000+08:00

memories

Whoa! IMF is finally over. Oh ya for those who didnt know, i'm working as a cost controller. In other words, a storeman. Well, before i started working, i had this perception that storeman means slogging away hours in the store simply by carrying boxes here and there. I thought it will be perfect for me to build up muscles.

Alas, cost controlling turned out to be extremely simple. It's actually more of admin work then physical work! Frankly speaking, the job scope wasnt exactly to my liking, but nevertheless, receiving goods from suppliers and checking whether the goods are up to standard or not, was a pleasant experience.

The suppliers were amusing people, for most of them are pretty much people who loves joking around. Thankfully, they were on very good terms with the full-time cost controllers. And this allowed us to "taste samples" which were enough to fill up our stomachs. Egg tarts, coconut tarts, strawberries, fishballs, sushi, you name it. And we got to devour them.

There were difficulties definitely. Such as keeping awake when there's really nothing left for us to do. (there were too much manpower i'll say). And the final day of work, counting the amount of stock remaining after the whole imf event. Surprisingly, things didnt go according to what was expected. Only a fifth of the items was used/consumed. Wonder how long it'll take to clear the remaining items.

It's pretty sad that IMF lasted only for a mere two weeks. I'll probably miss working with the great and fun loving supervisors over there. Cost controlling may not be a glamourous job as compared to serving the delegates, but, the experience i've gained is so much more than what being a waiter can offer. And with that, another chapter of my life has now been closed.

I'll give you the wings you desire, so do enjoy the view you have up there. And as long you remember i'm below waiting for you, I can safely say, i'm contented. =)

2006-09-13T21:21:00.000+08:00

out of control

Like a lone soldier,
fighting hundreds by himself.
A lonely battle; a never-ending war
With his home in jeopardy,
Will it be a victory?
Or a defeat filled with misery?

Like a lone firefighter,
struggling with a sea of flame.
A horrific disaster; a monster untamed
With his life on the line,
Will it be cherished?
Or will he perish?

IMF. I shall take this time to recover.

2006-07-08T00:28:00.000+08:00

the rule of reciprocation*

I realised after 2 months studying over at Temasek Polytechnic, I haven't blog about my experiences even once. Seems really bad considering this blog of mine is serving as a way to keep my memories. I guess it'll be really interesting reading them 10 years later.

It was awesome that I got into the same course as Ker Hui. But that was it. I was hoping that Cupid Angel will place us into the same class. Imagine being able to see each other, have lunch together, and go home together everyday. However, Cupid Angel has other plans for us. Perhaps it's even a test for me. A test of my character. Anyway.. even lovers need some time away, far away, from each other.

Cupid Angel may choose to ignore my wish, but Lady Luck took its place. So she placed one of my closest friends, Tat Yi, in the same class as me. And together with some fabulous classmates of mine, all with colourful personalities.

Of course, being me, i'm never satisfied. Well i wished there were more guys. What's the point of having so many girls in my class? (fyi, its 20 girls to 6 guys). With that, i'm reduced to playing soccer only once a week. Yeah, a rather drastic change from almost everyday in my secondary school days.

And thankfully, i didn't have much difficulty being part of a wonderful clique. 4 guys 4 girls. Jimmy and Han Lin make good friends and the four girls are really friendly and amiable in their own ways. But somehow i felt.. i didn't belong.

I'm never comfortable being around girls, as a matter of fact. Guess it's just my innate nature to be shy around girls. And also with my commitment with Ker Hui, I felt that i should't get too close to any other girls. It's probably because I don't want to see the same thing happening to me. She, being close to some other guy.

It might happen someday. I don't know. And I dare not think so much. Or maybe i'm just being too serious in this relationship. Of course.. I can push everything to "If things are meant to be, then it'll be".

If only it's that easy.

2006-07-02T00:08:00.000+08:00

a revisit

Hello blog. It's been ages since i last posted. I'm sorry i've neglected you. And i'm sorry for only blogging whenever i'm not happy. But i could use some space to vent out my feelings. Type it all out. And get on with life.

After so long.. I realised I am still me. Yeah, the one who has this tendency to turn simple thoughts into extremely complex ones. In a negative way that is. And its not uplifting at all. In fact. i'm very badly affected indeed. And it has a major role to play in the break up of my previous 2 relationships.

1st was crap. I don't want to be reminded by it. But it was the 2nd that i kinda regretted. All was seemingly well. Until this bad habit of mine destroyed everything. And now, its threatening me to spill everything out.

Spill what out? Those complex thoughts that i have. Ridiculous thoughts. And i know once i say them out, things will be different. And it will definitely lead to the same outcome. A break up.

I don't know what to do. Let's just see how long i can take it.

---

I watched Superman today with my pals today. Great show. But it's a pretty predictable storyline. Good guys will always truimph over the bad asses. X men was better though in my opinion.

For those who watched, remember the guy named Richard? Yeah that guy who's vying with Superman for Lois Lane affection. I guess in the end he won. Make no mistake, both of them love the girl pretty deeply.

How the hell did he win? He can't fly, he doesn't have super strength, he doesn't have much abilities to save her. I kinda feel like I'm him. I don't feel as though im the best guy around. Or maybe i'm just not confident. There are other guys out there who are much better..

Ah. Rooney got sent off. Oh England, you're in deep shit.

2006-04-02T00:23:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to you

Yup. It's Ker Hui 17th birthday today. And i had the honour to celebrate it with her on this very day. Her friends could have easily booked her, or her family. But I managed to pull off a tremendous victory! When she sees this, she'll surely say its because her family and friends aren't free. Ah damn it. Haha.

The day began real brightly. Been looking forward to this day since last week. In fact, it has been the driving force that allowed me to work without getting weary. We had fun. Ice age 2 was an awesome movie to watch on birthdays. For its simply light hearted fun and allows you to feel happy at the end of the movie. Dinner was great too. Fish & Co sambal grilled fish really got me perspiring all over. The surprise I had for Ker Hui didn't exactly go according to plan, but still it all worked out pretty well. It might not be the best, but i'm nevertheless satisfied. You're now looking at a model who's endorsing Fossil watch. Looking as pretty as ever.

I admit the photo wasnt exactly taken very well. The lighting was poor. But anyway, here's the close up view on the watch i gave her. =D

Nice eh?

Well.. things kinda went downhill towards the end. Its like having a sudden cold realization creeping on me. Yes. My day has turned into night, and April 1st is gonna be over soon. After forcing a smile as i waved goodbye to ker hui, my pals called me asking me if i would like to find them over at parkway to play pool. Some of them even wanna stay out till the very next morning.

I would love to. But unfortunately i can't. I've gotta work. And being a waiter needs concentration at all times. I've had lapses of concentrations before, and i almost end up breaking plates. Thankfully I didn't. Else i'll be a sorry sight.

April 14th's real soon. Less than 2 weeks in fact. I can do it right? I've done so over at Hang Ten before. That was even more hellish than what i'm going through at the moment. And i'm gonna get through this. Like what i've always believed in.. have faith and things will turn out fine =)

It's futile asking me to shower you with less love. I simply can't do it.

2006-03-27T02:21:00.000+08:00

da chen xiao ai

Oh dear. I'm so addicted to this song and i've got no idea why. It's pretty surprising for at first i felt that this song(sung by wang lee hom) was crappy. Just like how i felt Kiss Goodbye was. But after listening it to a few more times, the melody became drilled in my head so deeply that i'm now addicted to it. Yes. It's playing now while i'm blogging.

Just returned home after having supper with Jon, Ben and Soo. Of course, its kinda out of place for me to be with them. Three of them are like the best of friends, and i'm pretty sure they'll stay good friends throughout their life. Cause of my work, I kinda feel as though I've drifted apart. But poly life will soon change everything. For the better or for the worst, that's the question.

I had so much to say. Yet suddenly i feel as though i'm better off keeping things to myself. Good nights all. I've got a long day tomorrow..

will the curse be lifted?

2006-03-26T02:07:00.000+08:00

a love story

Though i don't have the mood to blog, but still i feel as though there's something i really want to get off my chest. Ironic thing is, i've got no idea what's bothering me. Ack.

Anyway, i've got a love story to share, which i find is really short and "sweet". You'll know why. Of course, it's not written by me. But i did edit a little.

Selfless love
(A guy with his girlfriend holding on tightly behind him were speeding over 140 mph on a motorcycle)

Girl: Slow down. I'm scared.
Guy: No this is fun. Speeding rocks!.
Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug. (Girl went on to hug him)
Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on? It's bugging me.

In the paper the next day: A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of a brake failure. Two people were on the motorcycle, but only one survived.

The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes were faulty, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him, felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so she would live even though it meant he would die.

-----------------

Awesome blackmailing there. And although chances are, both of them will be dead instead. How much can a helmet help? Anyways, hope you got the morale of the story. Love is simply selfless =D And this will give me the motivation to keep on giving.

Ker Hui's going Johor Bahru tomorrow. With the increasing crime rates over there, I can't help it but to be rather worried. Guess I'm gonna take a long time to pray tonight.

Those who are in love often say, "I'll do anything for you." But i realised it's impossible to do anything. Cause..how am i ever gonna break your heart? =)

2006-03-24T03:21:00.000+08:00

random thoughts

Ahh!! I've been real lazy lately to update my blog. Or rather, i've got no idea what to blog at all. But now that i'm here, it shows that i've got something to rant about.

I've been working real hard over at Straitskitchen(Grand Hyatt hotel) for the sake of money. I figured out i roughly need at least 800 dollar. Let's hope i really do get that much. I've got so many things that i want to buy, or rather need to buy. (kerhui's present =D)

Pressuring definitely. *checks ker hui's blog* Oh dear, there's only 7 days and 20 hours left. I'm sure almost every guy who are attached are most stressed on Valentine's day and their significant other's birthday, which is of course what i'm going through now. Thankfully, the choosing of present wasn't tough. But simply buying a present isn't enough for me. So i hope i can be able to make something out of my own effort as well. To be revealed on April 1st =D

Backtracking to errr tuesday if i'm not wrong. Well that day i was out wib some pals of mine to play some late night pool, and eventually we went to some coffee shop for supper and for some chit chat. I got more information than what i bargained for as a matter of fact.

I've always thought i was someone who's considered easily jealous, pretty possessive and unbelievably insecure.(in the past, i think i've changed) Unexpectedly, i've got a pal who's even more so than me. I feel comforted actually that someone's actually thinking the same way as me and going through the same thing as me. But still, it's very wrong to be easily jealous.

This pal of mine also said that he gets very very jealous when he sees there's some other guy's message in his girlfriend's phone. And he would then tell his girlfriend about it and that it's unfair for him. This conversation then took place.

"Hey dude, don't you think it's rather possessive of you? You've gotta give her some freedom to make friends!" That's me. Although i would feel a little jealous as well. But i can't be so controlling can i?

"Well. I don't see a reason why she have to do it when i don't message any other girls except her"

"Yeah.. you've got a point there.."

Hmm. That left me pondering. Should such a situation befall me, should i kick a big fuss about it as well? Or should i just brush it aside? Well. Tough question eh?

He then added that sometimes he feel that gives so much more than he takes and that his girlfriend does not give as much as him. I almost wanted to like high-five him. I felt the exact same way in my previous relationships. But not with ker hui of course. I realised that sometimes you have to think about what your girlfriend actually did for you, instead of thinking of how much you give up for her etc. And this line will come real handy. Just because someone doesnt love you as much as you want her to, doesnt mean she does not love you with all that she has got.

Thats about all. I'm getting real sleepy. Woohoo. One more day of work and i'll get to see ker hui the day after =D Say cheeeeeeeers!

I knew from the start we were very different from each other. But opposites do attract and now i'm becoming like you, and you becoming like me. So much so that i'm already believing that we're really meant for each other. Do you?

2006-03-16T03:05:00.000+08:00

the strength within

Yesterday was a stormy day. The first thing i received was a letter from Singtel indicating my bill for the month is 150 bucks. Come on man! I've already got no more money to prepare Ker hui's birthday and my poly clothes. This is huge blow man.

It was a scam. Don't ever download any tones from those companies that you can often see in the newspaper. I ended up paying 150 bucks for that stupid gorilla ring tone. But it was partially my fault. I failed to spot all the small words which said weekly subscription fee included. So do learn from my... costly mistake. I've gotta work 2 and a half days for it. Ow.

Cant believe i'm having money woes. I've always had enough to spend, but as i age, things do get more and more expensive. But it's good i guess, i'm actually saving more money now. And i'm quite pleased with myself! After having that setback, I immediately went to figure out how to solve this problem(or rather planning on how to save and spend money) instead of cursing my luck nor throwing tantrums. Meanwhile, i can only wish for more luck.

----

Well things did get better along the way. I had free food from Grand Hyatt hotel. And they're simply fabulous. But i've got no idea how am i going to finish all of them up. And i've still got this to finish.

If this carries on everyday, diabetes is inevitable. But still, it's really enjoyable =D

-----

It's our 3 months anniversary! Or rather the unofficial one. The official one's on 3rd of every month. Well why? 3rd of Dec was our first date whereas 16th of dec was the day we got together. By rights 16th should be the day ya? What to do, Ker hui insisted on 3rd being the nice date to remember. Heck, i both also remember =D

looking forward to our 100th anniversary

2006-03-11T03:22:00.000+08:00

trip to malaysia

Late entry again! I realised almost all my entries are done in the wee hours of the night. What to do, it is often at night that i'll get my solitary peace and quiet to exhibit my nonsensical writing skills. (Ker Hui claimed that she'll accompany me through the night. Well now.. she's long ahead in dream land. Still, i'm rather touched that she said that and at least made tt effort. Nevertheless, its up for me to chase up with her =D)

I'm going Malaysia in like 5 hours of time. It's on purpose that i'm trying to sleep late because the journey to Ipoh isn't that exciting nor fun. It's boring. And so, i'll sleep on the journey instead. Awesome.

It's my mum's one year death anniversary on Sunday. Time flies doesn't it? It has been really quick.. so much so that it seemed like yesterday that i found out the heartbreaking news. I don't know man.. but I figured out I've been handling my mum's departure pretty well. But there's still this hope i can't seem to get rid of. And that is the hope that my mum will come back someday. But she is not going to. Sigh.

This trip is a must. And i have got no choice but to go on without ker hui for 3 long days. That's hell man. Lucky i've got some of her photos to tide me through this crisis =) Absence makes the heart grow fonder doesn't it?

That's about it. I'm going to catch my 3 hours of sleep. Actually i rather not sleep, i'll be even more tired. No choice. Dad insist.

being apart from you is the only time when days is equivalent to years..

2006-03-08T03:22:00.000+08:00

a lesson learnt

Ooops. Pardon me for not updating more frequently. I've been working lately. Yes, i found myself another job in serving Grand Hyatt Hotel, well as a waiter to be more detailed. Well, the pay's definitely much better than Hang Ten, but it is way more strict in the hotel.

There's so much to be learnt. And there's simply no room for mistakes. One mistake and i'm pretty sure i'll be having my ears filled with scoldings. I'm kinda thinking whether taking hospitality and tourism management is the right thing to do. Do i really want to serve people my entire life?

Oh by the way, me and ker hui got into the same course =D I'm considered pretty fortunate actually. I've got a few good pals going into the same course as well. Hope we all end up in the same class.

I realised I've been handling money very carefully now. Perhaps after working, i truly understood what they mean by saying it's not easy to earn money. And i'm running low on money already! I've still got clothes to buy and ker hui's present. So i'm left with no choice but to be careful with my money.

Boring entry i guess. Just a filler post.

It's my good fortune that I've found you

2006-03-04T01:57:00.000+08:00

brrr...

I swear i'm going to have a hard time waking up at 9 am tomorrow. Say if i sleep at 3, i'll get 6 hours of sleep. Well, that's sufficient considering i used to sleep 6 hours everyday when i still had to go school. But of course, that's excluding the naps I had taken during school lessons. PoA, Chinese, Geography, and A Maths were my favourite napping periods =D.

But my love for soccer is simply too strong. Just like my love for you. I don't mind going all the way to Woodlands just to have a soccer match nor would i mind playing in the rain. I don't mind sacrificing 1 hour of my time just to be able to see you for 1 minute nor would i mind cycling through the storm just to get that sweet potato you want from old chang kee =D Yeah. Passion drives me on.

I've always harboured hopes to be a professional soccer player. But as I grew up and reality begun to dawn upon me that I will never be able to make it big, I gradually lost faith and eventually I strike out the possibility. Perhaps that's the main reason what sets us apart from those who actually make it. They dare to dream, and they dare to fight for their dreams.

Enough nonsense. Guess i'll better go sleep now. And i'm going to score a goal for you. yes you =)

How can i ever be complete without you?

2006-03-02T17:46:00.000+08:00

i miss school

It's really ironic really. When I was still schooling over at Ngee Ann, i've always been looking forward to the holidays. Holidays = more time with frens = more fun = an opportunity for me to charge up my batteries for school when it reopens. And now, boredom is consuming me.

Well..the holiday that i'm having currently is just simply way too long and the fact i won't be going back Ngee Ann anymore kinda bites. I don't think I'm ready for Poly life anytime soon. I just don't feel old enough. But isn't this all part of growing up?

I remembered one lesson on life my OBS(outward bound school)instructor taught me. Well she said on the last day of our obs camp, "In life, sometimes you get to meet new people and form new relationships, but it is also inevitable that you'll end up having to say goodbye to each other and go on your separate ways"

I believe she meant going on your separate ways on good terms. And not due to some quarrels or something. For example, my primary school friends. I used to have 2 close buddies to go out with me all the time. But now, they themselves made new friends and so do I. Eventually, we don't hung out that often anymore. However, i've always made it a point that we still hang out together once in a while.

That's the reason why I'm fearing how Poly life will turn out. Of course, I'm sure i'll make new friends but the thought of my current group of friends going on their separate ways isn't something i'm going to relish either. That's the reason why most people are resistant to change. Nobody sane would like to risk coming out of their comfort zone do they? But it's all part and parcel of life.

Enough crapping about of life. I've got more delightful things to share.

Well, there's a huge change in my blog as well. Yeah, a very obvious one fact. I've changed my blog's skin. Now i think this is less feminine and much more nicer. This thank you has been long overdue. So yeah thank you very much ker hui. =D

Even my handphone wasn't spared. I even have a new skin for it. Haha. Again, courtesy of ker hui. It's a gift from her, which i'm in love with of course. Can even glow in the dark!

So yup. Life's been real good for me lately. I'm starting work on Monday though. I hope things don't go downhill from there. =/

Life is never a bed of roses. But you've made one for me.

2006-02-27T04:44:00.000+08:00

it's the only way out

Sometimes life just doesn't go smoothly as one would like to. Things may not go according to your favour nor will things be the way you want them to be. And you sit in a corner and ponder, what on earth should i do?

Perhaps taking a step back and having a bigger view will be a wise thing to do, instead of looking at things with a narrow mind. Problems are smaller and more manageable when you look at it with a more open-minded view. It gets tempting to start thinking narrow-mindedly but you just have to resist.

Taking this step back is not easy. For i am taking it now. Maybe tomorrow i'll lose all my determination and start thinking narrow-mindedly. But whatever it is...it's the only way out.

...and i dont wish to be trapped

2006-02-24T02:10:00.000+08:00

at a loss

Man, i'm having a dilemna right now. So what is it that's bothering me? That is none other than money, the root source of evil.

It's virtually impossible to find someone who hate having more money in their pockets. Except for those monks, i'm sure most people would even love to die rich. Seriously yea, i've got to admit, there's so many things i would love to have, but i just don't have enough money to buy them all. =/ Poly school term is coming soon, i need update my wardrobe man. It's getting trashy.

And now there's a job placed right in front of me. But i'm actually reluctant to take it. I wish when i wake up tomorrow, i'll have the answer in my head. To take the job or not.

-----

Watched Final Destination 3 today. Or rather yesterday. Man, all i can say it has a stupid storyline, you're just simply gonna watch people die gruesomely. Maybe i'm really psychotic, but it's really hilarious to see the way they die. Especially this guy who kept deluding himself that death will never strike him. Well, it didnt strike him. It squashed him instead via the means of a tower collapsing on him. And when i say squashed, you really get to see him squashed. Hahahaha.

Other than that, i had a great day going out with her. She got herself a job(again!!!!), but well i can't be selfish can i? It's good that she can earn even more money to pamper herself and look even more beautiful. This is called a long term goal. =x Or investment. (im kidding btw =D). Seriously.. saying goodbye to her is really hard for I don't get to see her very often. May both of us get into the same class in poly!

Well. Didn't really expect i'll say so much. Oh by the way, here's some mission for those who still actually read my blog. Please leave a message in my tagboard. Wondering who you guys are.

Fancy some cash? Get me his head and $1000 is yours!

2006-02-19T02:59:00.000+08:00

a wall

I myself was wondering how long will it last. The wall that i've built around my fragile self. The wall that has been helping me block out all sorts of negative thoughts and neediness. And today..the wall is showing signs of crumbling. And i can't seem to stop it.

It sure feels really weird. It's like deja vu. History is beginning to unfold right in front of my eyes for the 2nd time again. I'm like in front of a crossroad; and only one path is the right one. I've taken the wrong one before, and it seems like i'm taking the same path again. I don't want to.. but i can't help it.

Guess i'll just have to see how it goes. I'll just have to run around and make sure the wall that i've erected does not crumble. I'll just have to stick to the right path. I'll just have to live my life. And i'll just have to try my hardest. Make it or break it. Do or die. Now or never.

I hate it when i'll have to say goodbye to you.

2006-02-10T00:02:00.000+08:00

metamorphosis

I finally realised what sets the Men and the Boys apart. Real men are sexually confident whereas those wussie boys are those who are needy.. insecure.. desperate.. obsessive and possessive.

And sad to say, I've got no choice but to admit that i belong to the boys. I've tried changing. Once bitten twice shy. In fact, i've got bitten twice. And maybe after being bitten twice, i've grown thicker skin, so much so that i'm repeating it the third time round.

But this time its special. I'm finally acknowledging that i've got a problem. And its pretty unfortunate that its my character wise that i've got a problem. Anyway, can it be remedied?

I can only try. So here are some guidelines i've made:

-Life does not revolve around her. You have your friends, your family, your games, your interest in soccer, guitar, there's simply so many more things to life.

-Sticking to her all the time will suffocate her. If you don't want to lose her, that's the only way.

-If things are meant to be, things will work out eventually.

-Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Give each other some breathing space.

-Girls hate wusses.

-They love men.

Ack. So i guess i've gotta stop being myself. But i see no other way out. My emotions are getting drained. It's now or never. I love advising people, time for me to advise myself. =)

-7 times. still counting.-

2006-02-08T23:47:00.000+08:00

a quiet comeback

Sure feels weird to be back here. Been ages since ive written(typed) any long stories. I bet im gonna have even more grammatical errors now. Afterall, my previous entry was on 12th of november. Whoa.. time flies doesnt it.

And of coz, within these few months, tons of stuff happened. In short, i've slogged my life away over at hang ten, got myself a fabulous girlfriend in ker hui, and now awaiting for my o level results, which is only 2 days away from now.

I'm 17 now too. And ironically, i don't feel 17 at all. i don't feel as though i've grown. i still feel as though i'm the same old me. But yeah, i've probably changed.. only that i don't seem to notice it.

I've made another realization as well. It's only when i'm emotional that i'll feel the need to write, or rather, to vent out all my emotions. Bottling up my feelings is a torture. If only i had a mentor to guide me..

~*~*~*~*

2005-11-13T01:41:00.000+08:00

the power of love is...

Tremendous. Seriously. It is so powerful that it'll drive you crazy. Crazily happy or crazily depressed that is. And today, fate wants me to witness both scenarios and decide for myself. Is romantic love what i need?

Watched Just like heaven today. I love this kind of movies. Those packed with romance and comedy. I'm sure many of you guys watched Hitch already, but i have to tell you, that just like heaven is better than Hitch. So yeah, go watch it asap. You've gotta trust me on this.

Man. It makes me wonder. Is fate really that magical? Maybe. Hopefully I'm lucky enough to experience it someday. Ah yes. I'm still young. Anyways i shan't spoil the movie for whoever's interested. Go watch it. Quick.

On the other hand, i witnessed a good friend of mine got badly hurt because of love. First time really, i saw someone being so ripped apart by a failed relationship. Now that's the wicked power of love as well. Destroying loving hearts. And making them unable to love as deeply anymore. Sigh. I truly hope she gets over it soon. Life isnt just about love.

So yup. It's time for me to ponder once again. Meanwhile i should be prepared for the rest of my O level examinations. Till then. Takaires.

2005-10-30T01:21:00.000+08:00

the right thing to do

Yea well. While others are all mugging away, getting prepared for the O levels, i'm wasting my life away. Yeah, i just watched a movie, which pretty much led me waste a night that i could use for studying.

Question is. Would i study anyways?

Maybe. God knows. I've chosen the path to watch a movie anyway. And the movie is.. "All about love" or in direct translation "say i love you again". Sure sounds cheesy.

Andy Lau. Main actor. Age 40+ at least. And still able to play the significant other of two girls say roughly 15 years younger. How on Earth does he maintain his youthful look? Don't mind me, my dad, despite being 40+ as well, looks like someone 10 years older. Probably the stress of taking care of me did that.

Well.. the movie was mediocre i'll have to say. Wasnt really touched. Perhaps i'm inhuman, or maybe i'm too deep in love to appreciate such a heart breaking show. Whatever it is, watching the girl from twins, not gillian chung, act is a pleasure. Gawd. She's so damn adorable. Lucky andy lau. He's old enough to be her dad.

All in all, the moral of the study is to cherish what you have before it's too late. And in this case, it is to tell your loved ones u love them before it's too late. But well, i don think i'll ever say "i love you" to my dad. Sometimes, actions do speak louder than words. I'm trying real hard to be a filial son. (to show that i do love him)

Moving on, i've learnt the basics of some love songs. Oh, with the guitar that is. Man, i can't wait to learn nothing's gonna change my love for you. Such a beautiful song. Even more so if i'm able to play the song in front of her. Someday i will. I won't sing. I promise. Haha.

Oh yea by the way, i found a new job ambition! And that is to be script writer. I'm sick of stupid movies! I'm gonna create some nice ones in the future. Ya right. Well why a script writer? They are like artists don't you think? Able to exhibit their creativity by having people to act out the story. I'll love to be one someday. I hope.

So that's about it. Time for some late gaming. C ya.

-i want that place in your heart-

2005-10-26T02:37:00.000+08:00

when competition arises

Often in love, things rarely go smoothly. It's not necessary a case of "boy meet girl, girl meet boy, fall in love" kind of thing. Sometimes there are cases of "boy meets 2 girls, girl meets 2 boys, who to choose leh?". And so you call them the triagular relationship.

Sure it feels great being the one able to choose. But if you truly like both, then it'll be a huge heartache as in who to let go. I shall not comment if you're someone who plays with other's feelings.

And as for the one who has to fight for love. Now that's an uphill task. Jealousy, disappointment, heartaches just to name a few are the negative stuffs they'll have to face. And sadly.. one party will win at the expense of another's loss. And "may the best man wins" applies here.

As for me, i always hope that i don't end up in such a sticky situation. Apparently, fate has something else in store for me, and now i'm caught in the middle. I love competions. But sadly, that only applies for everything else except love and studies. I tend to give up easily. And that's just me..

**

A girl walks into a mall. And there was a sale. and it read "Buy a companion now! Everlasting love guaranteed"

And so the girl took a look at all the guys that are offered. Dazzling they all are.
The girl took her time to analyse and read what all the guys have to offer.

Michael: Handsome, muscular, offers a great sense of security. Typical hunk.

Jonathan: Rich, cultured, polite, sensitive. Typical sensitive new age guy.

Melvin: Humourous, fun to be with, joyous. Typical party starter.

And lastly..

Althalas: Has a heart that'll loves deeply and truthfully. Typical idiot.

So who would the girl end up with?

**(what a lame story, i know. i shall end here)

-i won't give up just yet for the ball's in your court, not mine-

2005-10-25T19:28:00.000+08:00

a maze

What surrounds him are walls, of height that are twice of him. There simply isn't a way for him to climb up and see the right way to the place he would like to go. And after hours or even days of endless roads and meeting deadends, he decided to stop for a moment.

Behind him lies the way he came from. The entrance so as to speak. The door he went through when he made up his mind to search for everlasting happiness. But of course, everything has a price to pay. Now he's disappointed at the many dead ends, thirsty and weary of all the long paths.

And ahead of him lies an unusually long path. So should he move on and take his determination to the limits? Or should he turn back and give up his pursuit of everlasting happiness? And the decision is his to make, and one wrong choice, he'll lose everything. Now that's reality.

-i made the assumption before, that i was able to last that long. and i was made a fool. this time round. will history repeat or will it be the right thing to do-

2005-09-30T18:54:00.000+08:00

graduation

Maaan.. it's been ages since i updated. Yaya i know, i'm fully aware of it. What to do? i've been busying lately. Busy with what? Nonsensical stuff. Anyways, i'm back to update again.

Today's the graduation day. Maybe it's because i know i'm gonna see my classmates for next few weeks or so, and that pretty much caused me to feel void and emotionless. They should really place the graduation day after the O's. Then it'll be meaningful. What to do? Life seldom go the way u want it to go.

Nevertheless, it was pretty power packed. I love the presentations. Yeap, all the graduating classes. Rather touching i have to say. Especially the one the teachers made(i think its them). Sure making me feel nostalgic.

4 years. It's been real quick man, the way time passed us by. From a goody 2 shoes secondary 1 boy, to a larger and bigger goody 2 shoes secondary 4 guy. Guess one day i'll gather all my friends, then we'll spend the day by reminiscing about the past. At the moment, i kinda forgot everything.

I've grown, in ways that i hope is for the better. Well.. I reckon i've matured a great deal over the years. I have had alot of new experiences during this lengthy yet short period of time. Say falling in love, understanding people better etc. Hopefully it serves me well in the future. God knows what the future has, that's in store for us.

Of course, to all my fellow pals out there, the O's are here. All of us know that, yet many of us still choose to procrastinate instead of taking real action. I know, that includes me as well. Next week onwards, i'm gonna be a typical bookworm.

And i guess that is all..

The falling leaves.. the cold breeze.. the cries of a child.. filled me iith emotions way beyond my comprehension. Way too real.. way too heart breaking.

2005-09-17T23:42:00.000+08:00

im all blank

Oh man! I had so much to write about when i was on my home. Now that i'm actually putting words into this blog of mine, i cant think of anything. I feel so stupid at the moment man. haha.

Well, i just returned home after playing pool for a few hours. I swear pool, on your day, can make you superbly happy. But when you start missing every single shot, and the white ball seem to have a liking for the "hole", you'll feel super lousy. Ah. Rant rant rant.

Yea man. Was reading newpaper yesterday. And i read about the footballer Wayne Rooney. It's pretty weird that everybody seem to be siding his fiery temperament. Hello! He clapped sarcastically in front of the referee and you are saying he's not in wrong?!

Afterall, it's true that people like him perform better when their mood is fiery. But well.. not for me. For me, i'll have to stay calm and relaxed in order to do anything well. Be it soccer, pool or any other things that i do. And whenever i start to lose it, and sink into the "fire" mode. That's it, i'll start being foolish. I'll attempt to hurt players on the soccer field. Even if he's my friend at that very point of time. You are my opponent. You are my enemy.

Now i know that's pretty scary. I've changed. Or rather, i've been trying to change and i think i'm kinda improving. AT least i dont go crazy that often now. Yeah, i'm bad tempered.

**

Break ups. Well saw a guy on my home just now. He was on the fone and squatting by the pathway. Being curious, i kinda tried to overhear what he was talking about. (i'm sorry, i was way too curious) Though he was mumbling, i could figure out he was asking for a patch. And he kinda got rejected. A sad sight.

If you find that falling in love is the best thing that can happen to you, a break up or rather you being dumped is the complete opposite. All sorts of negative feelings will just appear out of nowhere. And trust me, they are gonna stick with you for quite some time. Been there, done that. I'm experienced. haha

And i figured out the way to let go! the way to enlightenment. and the way to buddha.(alwight that was lame) And now.. i hope i dont have to let go again. The signs are scary. Ominous signs. I shall let time to be the answer..

**

Army cheer. Suddenly just tot of putting it up

Purple light!
In the valley!
That is where,
I wanna be.
With my friends,
best companions
with my rifle and my buddies and me..

SOC! (standard obstacle course) Sibei jia lat!
Do PT (physical training) La gi worse!
Everyday, kenna tekan (punished)!
With my rifle and my buddies and me...

Booking out,
Saw my girlfriend,
Saw her with
Another man!
Heart broken,
back to army...
With my rifle, and my buddies and me...
(i love tis part)

Purple light!
At the war front.
that is where,
my body lies.
If i die,
would you...
bury me...
with my rifle and my buddies and me...!

WhOa, i'M feEling PatRiotic! I miss my NCC life.

I just can't help it. My desire to be with you is just like a flame. Burning brighter and brighter with each passing day. Even the rain, is not able to stop it. Only you... can.

2005-09-14T20:57:00.000+08:00

*when death comes*

Alwights. I've been asked to blog by a special someone. And so i will. But man, my days recently have been pretty much boring. There's nothing much to blog about. But still...

Well you guys should know about all the news abt death. Say the katrina hurricane, the chopping up of body(freaky. imagine finding a bag and there's a severed head in it, what on earth will your reaction be man?). Both are the same thing. It all results in the loss of life. And it leads to so called after life.

Life's ironic i figured out. Those who want to die, usually got their attempt to commit suicide foiled. And whereas, those that have a bright future ahead of them, or those who want to live, has death come calling much earlier.

I really find those who committed suicide over silly reasons really stupid. There are so many people out there who's trying to find food everyday so as to survive yet these people just wanna end "their suffering" by ending their life. Ridiculous.

M1 still says it best. One life, live it. On a lighter note, my prelims are pretty much underway. Hopefully i don't do so badly that i'll get demoralised. Hope and pray.

That's about all. I'll think of more to blog while mapling... till then, ciaos.

I'm falling deeper and deeper everyday. Into the bottomless pit of love.

2005-09-11T14:57:00.000+08:00

the end is here

Whoa man! The holidays are going to be over real soon. And it seems to me, this 1-week holiday has been speeding past faster than ever. And that's pretty frightening. It simply means the O levels are coming.

Well, i'm not exactly that frightened by O levels. At least not as much as my pals over at 4r1 4r2 respectively. Some peeps in 4r2 got A2 for chinese, and they still wanna retake! Insane people. (yeah i know i got b3 and i actually chose to retake. anyways, i'm really regretting. watch me get f9)

For the past few days, my morning has been missing. Been sleeping earliest at 1 am, and waking up early in the afternoon. Pretty sad, considering what i've been busy doing during my day was not studying, but gaming throughout. Maple story that is.

I must say it's really a fantastic game. My definition of fantastic? Allows the gamer to waste his life on it, and to believe that the game is reality, and his real world is virtual.

Like totally. I was looking at myself in the mirror(i seldom do that, just to clarify that i'm not self obsessed) Man i look like crap. Though i've been banging 12 hours of sleep regularly, but still, i looked really weary. And i wish to know why.

Now i'm back at the computer. Guess what i'm gonna do next? Yup, i'm going to maple as usual. Sigh.. i need a wake up call. Oh by the way it's my English paper tomorrow. I can forsee it's my first f9 that i'm gonna collect. Good luck to all taking their prelims.

It was a dream. Beautiful dream. That left me empty when i woke up. For i realised it was over. And the dream was about you.

2005-09-10T02:56:00.000+08:00

when the cold wind blows..

Alrights, the clock's reading 3 am already. And i'm still up and awake, and seated right in front of my computer. My eyes are hurting, but still i shall make an entry to make up for yesterday.

It's nice to hear that people are asking me to update. But well, sometimes my mind just tend to go blank and i cant think of anything to post. Especially when all i did the whole day was to stay at home and play maple story. I know it's really really sad, but the other alternative is to study. Of course i'll choose the former.

I've got no idea how i'm gonna deal with my prelims. Guess i'll flunk every single subject. Okay! I shall force myself to put in a little effort to study later on. Hope you guys study at least a little as well.

That's all i guess. i'm feeling weary.

I hope i took the right step. Let me know if i did.

2005-09-07T21:58:00.000+08:00

the irritant

Man, i feel irritating today. Haha, got this great desire to irritate people. Unfortunately, Woo Yang's the victim today.

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
wad care u doing now?

aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
wad care u doing now
(this is just the starting)

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
eh tiam la

aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
LOL

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
fuck u undersyand

aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
don undersyand
(doing well...)

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
eh u tiam la
| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
sweet chin u ar
| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
knn

aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
SCARY BODOH
(bwahahhaha)

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
u damn kiam pa sia
| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
better not let me see u next time

aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
me scareded

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
KNN CCB!
(signs that he cant take it no longer)
aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
bcc nnk

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
AAAAARRRRGGGGH
(he's suffering in pain)

aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
LOL

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
FUCK U UNDERSTAND?

aLthaLus ™ will the day ever come stairway to heaven says:
don understand

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
nb cb

Alwights it's kinda lame but anyways... here's the bonus part which ive got no idea how come he'll say such stuff...

| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
i love u man
| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
espacially on the bed
| Yang™ | Vodavoda, water of life says:
u can fuck me so hard!

That's about it. His typing skills is one of the worst ever. Good night.

2005-09-06T14:59:00.000+08:00

topsy turvy

I had a major scare yesterday. Is it just me that whenever i lose things, i'll lose the thing that's most valuable on me. Or whatever that's not mine, that's shared in the family.

My mp3 went missing.(My dad loves to listen to the radio in the mp3, and my sis do bring it out sometimes) For rich people out there, it's not something worth worrying over i suppose. "Buy a new one la" they'll say in unison. But sadly, i'm not rich. I can't afford to lose things... that valuable.

After lan gaming, we headed out to get some fresh air, and eventually to get some dinner. Being me, i only look for things whenever i want to use it, and not look for it just for the sake of making sure it is there. (yeah thats why i tend to lose things ya?)

Anyways, i realised my mp3 was missing. Not in my pocket, my bag, everywhere! For the first time ever, my emotions had a 180 degree spin so fast. From a happy dude, waiting to get some high quality char kuay teow, to a small boy, when he realised his papa mama is missing.

I didnt bother to think where on Earth i left it. I just thought of the consequences immdiately. For its my 2nd time losing valuables while gaming, I can hardly fathom how my dad's gonna holler at me.

I realised i'm actually quite a pessimist. I actually planned how to get a new mp3 in time, instead of figuring out where i misplaced it. After all, what if someone picked it up? Finders keepers.

Thankfully, i have pals who are encouraging. They made me calm down, and think clearly.(To calm down at such a situation is no mean feat) When was the last time i used my mp3? Was it in the cab? Or at woo yang's house?

For the first time ever, woo yang suddenly had wings, turned fair and had the looks of an awesome angel. He was my only hope. My saviour that could lift me from hell to heaven. And yes he is. For his maid found my mp3 lying still on his couch.

I screamed for joy. Seriously. It's like virtually picking up 200 bucks on the floor. And another 180 degree spin of emotions again. Back to the happy dude again. One that's relieved that is.

At least material possesion, after losing it, there's still hope you'll find it. That's simply not the same for love. You lose it, that's it. Lost forever.

2005-09-04T19:51:00.000+08:00

eleven eleven

Been a pretty exhausting weekend for me. Both physically and financially. kinda weird to use the word "financially", but nevertheless i spent loads of money this weekend. You see, it's been always a must to spend during chalets. The food is so outrageous..ly nice that you have to cook for yourself if you wanna eat. Well you know, i'm a guy whos not fond of being hardworking, and the end result? I was left starving.

Okay that aside, i would like to share with you guys a strange phenomenon that befell me pretty recently. Say probably 2 weeks ago till now i suppose. Alrights, i know this may sound absurd, but it kinda revolves around this 4 digit that I've been frequently seeing. And really, i do mean frequently. And these digits is none other than.... 1 1 1 1

No don't get me wrong, it's not that i aspire to be no.1 so much that i'm seeing it everywhere. It cant be possibly coincidence all the time either. It may be disbelieving but here is...

Some examples:

1)For almost every day, i repeat almost everday, i see this "1111" represented as 11.11pm on my trusty worthy 8250 mobile phone. For almost everyday i repeat! It's always just right on the spot, whether i'm checking sms or checking the time, i'll always get to see 11.11pm. Luck perhaps?

2)I kinda have a bottle with me in the house as well. Easy access to water you see. Somehow, i just tend to drink water alot. It's good isnt it? Anyways, i was so bored that i went to read the Ice Mountain bottle for a while. If you noticed, there will always be this set of numbers, for what for i'm not so sure, and for mine, it read V1111V. OH gawd.

3)Well just yesterday, yeap during the chalet, me and woo yang were playing pool, with nicholas watching us play. It almost went unnoticed until suddenly when woo yang was about to score his striped ball 11, then nicholas exclaimed..

"Look! There's two 11 balls. Hahaha, woo yang, foxy ball 11 to ball 11 lah!"

Left dumbfounded, its the four numbers 1111 again!

4)England vs Wales match! So hyped yet it turn out to be so freaking boring. Screw England, with their quality, they are supposed to perform so much better than just a 1-0 score.

Okay okay, it was oso this match i spotted 1111 again. At the end of the match, there's this two players(too stunned to remember the names), standing side by side,
one England one Wales, and guess what? Both of them are wearing jersey no. 11!

Perhaps i'm insane to think so much about this four digits. But to my close friends, i hope you guys know how i am interpreting this four digits. It's really too frequent for me to believe its just a mere coincidence. I tried to look for tose numbers intentionally, but no, it wont appear anymore. It's only when im most unguarded, then i'll see those numbers.

I'm sure i'll see more of it in the future, but i won't be able to do anything about it i guess. Moved on we have. End of story.

2005-09-01T14:03:00.000+08:00

let fantasy be just fantasy

He glanced up lazily. Morning has left him and its been an hour or two in the afternoon. The ceiling never looked so dull before. And before he know it, he's in for a emotional ride.

The first thing he did was simply reach out for his handphone lying just beside him. He took it and browsed through, hoping to see her msg somewhere. And of course, disappointment filled him up gradually. And no way can he deny it, that he's falling in love with her.

The soft-pouring rain never seemed so frightening before. The loneliness it brings is just too much to bear for the tiny him. Possibly big and hard-headed on the outside, but yet small and vulnerable on the inside.

What should he do? The girl he likes has someone else in mind, and it just hurts so badly to talk about her object of affection which is not him at all. He cant help but to constantly ask about him. "How's he like?", "Who on earth is he?" Yet, the girl refused to tell him anything.

It's really hard for him to admit defeat to someone who he doesnt even know, someone shielded by a cloak of invisbility that the girl made for him. Is he just going to give up? Without letting her know how he feels about her?

The rain stopped. Light begun to fill up the darkened room once again. A realization silently sprung into his mind. He is going to give up. He has done it before and he'll do it again. It's time to face reality. He'll have to move on.

=)

2005-08-31T22:01:00.000+08:00

a quality : humility

Humility - the quality of not being too proud about yourself. In other words, being humble. And in more words, its the opposite of arrogance.

In a person, i am dead sure that there are at least a few good qualities in him/her. Also, i believe that even a crook have some good qualities in them. Perhaps we should exclude those psychopaths, for some of them really did lost their logical selves to god knows what.

To name some of this qualities, they include caring, responsible, respectful and righteousness etc. And of course, one of them is none other than humility. And surprisingly, it is actually a quality, in my humble opinion, that can be exercised regularly and eventually play a big part in your life.

I witnessed a case of how detrimental it is when one fail to exercise humility. Naturally, there are many times one can get carried away with their achievements and successes, that they forgot in order to achieve that much, other people have to sacrifice. What on earth do i mean?

Say, for example, two buddies playing a game. It's either you kill me for you to win, or either i kill you for me to win. As cruel as reality can get, one is a winner and one is not. And to me, there is really no point in gloating over your victory, claiming how great you are, and self praising shamelessly. Is that really what friends are for? Putting down each other?

No, definitely not. At least i don't think so. Even if your opponent is not your friend, or perhaps even your hated enemy, humility is still the best way to go. Would you rather the person you defeated admire you from afar? or would you rather he hating you for being so arrogant? I believe the former would be the wiser choice.

Of course, it's not about being hypocrites here. To exercise humility, you really do need to be sincere in doing so. I shan't say i'm humble, for saying so will really contradict myself. I'm not perfect either, there are times where i really wish to verbally display all my skills etc. But still, there's a phrase that comes to my mind whenever that happens. It is none other than "actions do speak louder than words". Show it, instead of praising yourself in front of others.

Respect is earned, not demanded. Earn by showing what you are made of and being humble about it. It is not gained by bragging how you fought tis war etc. Even if so, i believe its just some shallow respect.

Whoa, i'm back. That was my other self. Got kinda agitated earlier on today. But now i'm fine. Forgive and forget i reckon.

Drop me more signs. Then i'll be ready to take the plunge. Trust me. I will.

2005-08-29T19:55:00.000+08:00

no guns, just a son's love

So far it has been good! Ideas are forming in my head whenever i think of my blog, hopefully this keeps up for long. To begin my entry, i shall share with you guys something i read, thats pretty light, yet touching. Here goes..

An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hardwork. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament:

"Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad, because it looks like i won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden this year, because your mother always loved planting.

I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. IF you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you wereint in prison. Love, Dad"

Shortly, the old man received this telegram: " For heaven's sake, dad, don't dig up the garden! That's where i buried the GUNS!!"

At 4am the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire graden without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: " Plant your potatoes, dad. It's the bset i can do for you at this time."

***Shamelessly taken from the New Paper.

Haha, so how was it? I hoped it at least touched ur heart a little. A smart and witty act by the son, to display his love for his dad. Ladies aside, for guys out there who's reading my blog, how many of you are able to say "i love you" to your dad?

Not many i would say. "Yuck" would probably the common answer. But for me, i really love my dad. Man, i know that's kinda weird for me to say. But truthfully, i really do. Ever since my Mom left us, my Dad has singlehandedly cared and provided for us. And never once, has he left us feel neglected.

Who would make sure a bottle of Ribena would be in the fridge everyday? A bowl of fruits? The food is on the dining table? Make sure both of us get to school on time? And so many more. None other than, my dad.

I can only wish i can be half as good as him, should i be a father someday. Alwights.. my friends are asking me to play dota now. Till then, c ya all.

2005-08-28T20:10:00.000+08:00

stairway to heaven

Hey all! Been a long hiatus, and here i am once again, for the umpteen times, back into the arms of my blog. sigh, i shan't say whether i'm able to commit myself fully. but so far so good, my interest is back. For proof, i actually went to get myself a new skin for this blog. OF course, it's not done by me. Haha, simply too lazy. oh yea, please tell me if its too feminine for me.

So what on Earth have i been up to? O levels is coming, and prelims is even nearer.. Let me guess, you guys are already assuming i'm busying studying. Sadly, you're wrong. Ive been doing everyting but studying. Sigh , kinda tragic isn't it? I'm gonna be able to score 30 points for prelims!

Jokes aside, i'm gonna delve into deep detail what i've been doing. yeap that is, the title of this entry. Starway to heaven. No idea what it is? Lemme explain.

(Oh yes, i was faced with great response when i told my pals about this drama. Comments such as "You're behaving like some auntie", "Go watch action movies instead la", "You're a wuss." But still.. i persisted on... )

It's your typical romance drama, except that this one is superbly bittersweet. Oh yea, as I'm making this entry, I'm listening to Stairway to heaven's theme song. Great korean love song. I can send it to you guys, just inform me.

Back to Stairway to heaven. In a nutshell, its about two person, who knew each other very early in their lives, and became best of friends and eventually a pair of lovebirds. The girl especially, is met with tons and tons of tragedies. But she was rewarded with the thing that most people are still not able to find in their whole lives. That is, true love.

The guy too, an extremely devoted guy. Who on earth will wait for someone for five years, with the knowledge that she's already dead? Not many, especially if you're sane. Will they end up together? Happily ever after? Catch it yourself. Channel U i think. every monday & tuesday. p.s the girl's gorgeous, an incentive to guys out there to watch.

Oh yeah, i've been taking up guitar lessons lately. Playing the guitar is really enjoyable, kinda regretted not taking it up much earlier. Other than the guitar, i know nuts about other musical instruments. I don't even know a single musical note then! Terrible. Sports has been my life, but now, Music joined in too.

Too much computer kills. Too little computer results in boredom, which kills as well. It's all about seeking the balance. And now it seems, with my eyes aching, i'm facing the computer too much. So.. c ya guys then!

when even death is not able to separate them, what else will?

2005-06-24T16:32:00.000+08:00

王力宏 - 爱错

北风毫不留情把叶子吹落脆弱的她选择了逃脱
叶子失去消息风才感觉寂寞整个冬天北风的痛没人能说

* 我从来没想过我会这样做从来没爱过所以爱错
我从哪里起飞从哪里降落多少不能原谅的错
却不能重来过 *

翻开回忆角落完美的生活以为幸福都可以掌握
仔细回味当初那个故事背后 Oh 原来是我犯下从没承认的错

在这少了你的世界 Oh
找不回那些感觉其实我不想道别那些过去

我从来没想过我会这样做从来没爱过所以爱错
(从来没有爱过那么认真) 我从哪里起飞从哪里降落
多少不能原谅的错却不能重来过我从来没想过我会这样做
从来没爱过所以爱错我从哪里起飞从哪里降落
多少不能原谅的错请你原谅我的爱错

2005-06-06T00:43:00.000+08:00

The right words can open your heart , for you to love again.

Hey all, i'm back from malaysia. been a pretty enriching trip, yea via books that is. Man, i just realised how badly i need to be able to speak in fluent cantonese. To put it simply, you can't communicate there at all if u dont know cantonese. Now i'm regretting for refusing to learn cantonese.

And so, i was left there, unable to hold any conversation with anyone, and that's pretty sad. Ah, thankfully though, i brought 2 books there, and my sister bought another at the book shop over at malaysia, and then i just immersed myself in the legendary land of words. yup, words.

I didint know i could go on a marathon reading books. english books that is, i can hardly read a page of any chinese book, yea even those for kindergarden kids. And i'm still wishing i'll get b3 for chinese o's. ah whatever.

okay, i read three books in total, the war of the worlds(thks tat yi), the five people you meet in heaven and sam's letters to jennifer. (thks sister). ah what can i say? these 3 books were awesome, and they definitely made me adore books even more. But well, i'm still a more of a novel kind of guy, which is rather weird suppose. People often stereotype guys with thrillers, sci-fic books etc right? Anyways, war of the worlds wasnt that great with me, guess i'm better of catching the movie. but the other books definitely changed my perception quite a bit.

ah. Sam's letters to Jennifer. The author's amazing for he is a guy and he is writing from a girl point of view. well hopefully he isnt gay. but judging from the great description of making love(from a girl pov), maybe he is. I dont know, but i shall salute him anyways. Basicially, it's about a grandmother's advice to her granddaughter, about love that is. About lifting urself up and indulge in love once again. What's the best thing on earth and free? You've guessed it, love.

2nd book. five people you meet in heaven. gave me a whole new perception about heaven. in this book, Heaven is actually a place in which you meet five people who explain things about your life and make sure you understand, and learn.

There was this particular part that i loved. "Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You cant see their smile or bring them food, or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens, Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it."

And to think that's one of the many parts that's thought provoking. For avid book lovers, you've gotta really get it and read it up.

Wow, didnt expect i'll talk so much. prolly to make up for the inability to speak over at malaysia. So i'll stop for now. tommorow then.

And so, i learnt, The way you handle love can actually affect what love does to you. So perhaps, i should open up my heart once again, and should love come, i'll handle it right.

2005-06-02T19:37:00.000+08:00

*growl*

Ah. Ever had one of those days that you actually planned not to sleep so that you can do more stuff than wasting your time making nonsensical dreams, and guess what, you end up dozing off.

That feeling sucks. like totally man. And i actually just woke from one of this unplanned naps. Sounds like pregnancy? they are pretty much the same, but of different magnitutes. ah whatever man.

Now chatting with a good pal of mine, and sure makes me feel happy hearing that he's now standing a very good chance of getting a girl that's definitely awesome to my clique. and should he succeeds, kudos to him.

ah im feeling lazy atm. btw i'll be off to malaysia for a few days. ill be back to update more.

2005-06-01T17:55:00.000+08:00

*a joke to share*

Alwights here goes.

It Ain't all that bad

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom saw an envelope propped up prominently on the bed. the letter read:

Dear Mum, i eloped with my new boyfriend because i wanted to avoid a scene with you and dad.
John is the love of my life.
I love all his piercings, tattoos, beard and motorcycle clothes.
By the way, i'm pregnant.
John said that we will be very happy together.
he wants to have many more children with me.
Meanwhile, we'll pray that science will find a cure for Aids so john can get better.
Don't worry Mom, i'm 15 years old now and i know how to take care of myself.
One day, we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your daughter, Judith.

PS: Mum, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call me when it's safe for me to come home. =)

Hurhurhur. okay.. maybe it isnt that funny as it is to me than for you. oh yea, if u find the joke pretty familiar, you probably read it in today's Newpaper.

Okay today, yea today, well, i learnt something that's could prove useful in my life. No, not a maths, but about myself. A friend pointed out to me that i'm actually very hot tempered.

Its true definitely. Most of the time during any games that's competitive. It just in my nature, that i love to win, or rather, that i play to win. Of course, hu doesnt likes to win? but for me, i sppose i love to win more than average people.

I believe im a determined person, in sports that is. and i hate giving up easily. this could be easily classified as a good character trait, but the thing is, it could ultimately be my downfall. I tend to abuse it, resulting me to play in a very aggresive manner, and end up hurting my opponents. Sometimes, i really admire those who can take losses easily.

Remember, in any event that are of competitive nature, be a graceful winner and avoid being a sore loser. and the keyboard malfuctions right now..

Nobody is perfect. I'm not nobody.

2005-05-31T01:17:00.000+08:00

*long lost*

Ah. *wipes away dust* . my blog definitely been inactive for a really really long time. cant help it man, commitment is a thing that i'm not able to offer. alwights so here i am, dong shang zai qi.

Well. a pretty average day i guess. stale and dull. but hey at least chinese o levels is over. not exactly over, but as long i get a B3, bygones shall stay as bygones. but should i fail to do so, the chinese demon shall be resurrected and i have to fight it all over again. alrights, i sppose i kinda step over the "lame" limit. anyways, that's my perception of chinese. Big, tall, monstrous, scary, and wadever evil or bad term u can find.

i sure feel good now. like a huge rock on my shoulders been lifted away by some merciful angels. oh yea, recently i've been hooked on to pool. man it's sure fun. the adrenaline rush whenever ur ball go in that tiny lil hole. and when i say the ball go in, i actually mean the coloured ball, not white ball =]

alwight this post is just to get ready my blog for more entries. i hope. my blog's still alive guys. stay tune.

2005-04-25T20:10:00.000+08:00

*lapse of concentration*

Hmm.. been long it seems eh? Let's back track a little... Last entry reads: 4/4/05. my bad guys, been 21 days! Ahh, didnt have much to write lately. You know, you really need to have some sort of inspiration to write sometimes. Or maybe let your mind drift to a galaxy far far away often, so that you can come up crap to talk about.

Anyways, the reason why i didnt was i guess.. because of the game i'm currently super hooked on to. It is none other than Warcraft 3 : DoTa. Not only does it makes you hooked, it makes your mind go figuring out ways to counter this move, that move etc. Yes sounds like chinese chess. but way more fun. (if my dad see this, he'll prolly sigh and drop me a comment, wishing me to do the same to tackle those freaking maths questions)

You know sometimes, your body feels very tired but the smartest organ in you just refuse to comply with the physical needs of your body. Perhaps, mental needs come first. Well, it happened for me last night. There i was, rolling around in my bed, as thoughts after thoughts attacked me, one after another. Before you brush it off as some mental problems, hear me out.

Memories. good or bad, unforgettable or forgettable. doesnt matter. but one thing that's certain that once you have memories, it can never be erased.

I was reminisicing over my previous loves. All the sweet and bad ones. (i'm a balanced person). And i realised both actually hurts. It's pretty duh for bad ones, but for the sweet ones. why? Although it happened once, but the reality has it that you no longer get to relive such memories. Sigh yea?

Don't get me wrong. I believe i've totally got over them. But i guess its this phase now that i can bring back memories and indulge in the afterglow. Cool huh? Speaking of which, my love life's barren! Seriously there's no girl i can place my eyes on at the moment. Blessing? Maybe.

Alwight i know this entry kinda sucks, but hey just treat this entry as some CPR exercise. i'm trying to revive this poor blog of mine. lalala.. the keyboard spoils here.

sometimes, one can be happier with his ability to think taken away..

2005-04-04T22:29:00.000+08:00

*reality bites*

So after a lengthy wait in the queue finally ends, you hurriedly step right up to the counter, praying that the tickets wouldn't be sold out. Behind you are your bunch of pals, gazing upon you with those wishful pair of eyes, and there you go, the tickets are in your hands and you heave a sigh of relief. Hurrah.

Next you purchase your popc0rn and drinks, afraid to order the large and tempting looking size of Coke, for the fear of having to rush off to pee during the movie. (i still can't fathom out why leonard needs to go toilet all the time) And quietly, you hush your pals to their seats and eventually settle comfortably on your seat. The munching begins, and so does the movie.

__

I've watched 3 movies lately, if im not wrong, within the previous 3 days. Swing girls, turn left turn right (on the teevee) and Be cool. Fortunately, all 3 movies are of good calibre and i certainly enjoy them throughly. Seriously, i would like to recommend Swing Girls to all of you guys. Sound cheesy eh the title? But nah, it's not some sex-related flick or whatsoever. Well, let me sum it up for you.. hmm, it's a comedy, packed with a little romance, coupled with some fantasy and great music. Jazz music that is. You really gotta catch it.

__

You walked out, rather wobbly after two hours or so being immobile at your seat. And here's when the biting part comes in. (taking into effect that the movie is good one). You realise the show's over, yea, The End. And you wish it would continue on and play the happy moments. but sometimes in life, too much is not good, and so the producer of the movie played his cards right by not extending the ending too much. Sigh, so you dragged ur unwilling legs to the rest room, and start dreaming with nostalgia of the carefree life and the happy moments the characters in the movie had. And the nostalgia lingers on...
__

Well, that's how i felt after watching swing girls. Man, i wish i'm in the show, living the life of the main character or something. Everything was so picture perfect, so beautiful, and so fantastic. And the romance part, omg the girl was drop dead gorgeous. (jap gals still tip top number one!) But then my smart alec brain decides to make me figure out what's reality and what's not. And with that, i landed from the sky down to earth with a loud thud. ouch. that's life for you, sadly.

Remember matrix? "everything that has a beginning has an end" Uh well, it kinda makes me feel better saying so. So true love has an end? I'm confused.

I've bumped into my ex twice lately i think. It definitely ain't a nice feeling. I find it so hard to say even a "hi" to her. One thing i would really wanna figure out is what causes a once love birds to turn out this way after tis process called "break up". Is love such a magical force? Ah, whatever..

I hope you'll turn right when i turn left..

2005-03-28T18:16:00.003+08:00

*an awakening*

Yohoo! How's everybody? *looks around* Sigh. I'm not a guy whos good at writing introduction of any sorts. So do pardon my attempt. But anyways, thanks yili for reminding me to constantly update my blog. Oh yea, my blog wanna say thanks to you too, for appreciating him. =)

Alrights, what have i been up to lately? Yeap, i've just finished reading a novel, by the name of... "tuesdays with morrie". Yeah yeah, i definitely do not think i appear as a guy who loves to read, but hey, seriously, i think reading is fun. Like what my Primary School teacher advised us, "To do well in English, you just have to read, read and read. There's no need for assessments" And to reinforce his point, i guess what he meant by read is to read books that are well.. full of vocabularly and good grammer usage. To all my guy buddies out there, i don't mean FHM or Maxim. ;)

Moving on, what's this book about? About the author's experience of being with his mentor. Apparently, his mentor was hit with some sort of muscle problem, yea u guessed it, it's a terminal illness. And in this novel, the author talks about what his mentor taught him about life before he slowly literally wither away.

This is a real story. But what makes it rather unbelievable is the way the author portrayed his mentor in this novel. In it, his mentor was able to live off his final months with a positive and optimistic mood. And his final days weren't like the normal days he had previously, it was full of suffering with his ability to walk etc. robbed.

*touchwood* Now just imagine, you're unable to move, to do the things u like, and have to be super dependent on others, and having to go through all this just to await for your death. The question is, are you able to be cheerful throughout it?

The man was. In fact, he claimed to be lucky. Perfectionists and pessimists will probably compare themselves to people who are above them, or rather , luckier than them. Yeap those who still get to live, do whatever they want etc. But little did they know, there are people who just had their life taken away by the means of bad accident etc. So before you start grumbling how you can't afford that "oh-mi-gosh! latest playstation console", think about those poor kids who can't afford that bottle of coke that u consume everyday.

Enough nagging. I seriously think i make a good nagger. And yea do post a comment or two, or maybe just tag at my shout box. Alwighty? aut before i go, i kinda like this question that the author's mentor asked. And perhaps you can think about it?

"What are we embarrased by silence? What comfort do we find in all the noise?"

2005-03-28T18:16:00.001+08:00

2005-03-28T18:16:00.000+08:00

2005-03-21T18:48:00.000+08:00

*overwhelmed*

Hey all! as usual, i'm here to apologise for the failure to update regularly. Really, the holidays have been pretty boring for me, and im not a guy who likes to blog about what I did exactly during the day, hmm, maybe i just rather to talk about my feelings. Anyway, i'm gonna blog about the best school reopening i ever had. And i hope u'll take the time to read what i have to say.

The score was 3 - nil. 3 freaking goals conceded, at only half time. Terrible trashing it really seems. Nope, not for the opposition, but for us. It's really seldom that we got outclassed that badly. And i know, the fault lies in me, i failed to do what i can do, i failed to motivate myself, let alone others, and i failed in my physical endurance. (i was nursing a fever when i played).

I looked upon others, my friends and my class's supporters. Perhaps second to laughter, eye contact brings two souls closest to each other. I sensed that they already got all the consolation words ready, despite the game only at half time. Naturally, i felt really defeated.. really battered.

I dragged my stubborn legs across the field and towards the canteen for a break. And i just went to sit aside from all my other teammates, i really needed to be alone. Even the stupidiest of man will feel the mood among us. We went with the flow, and felt that the game was long over.

the half time was five minutes, unfortunately, due to time constraints. And for the 1st time in my entire life, so many things happened in this mere five minutes, in my mind that is. It was a raging and fierce battle, basically the fight between good and the evil. One side of me wanted to give up, another side told me that, i can still clinch it, i just need to seek inspiration.

How? Where? Who on earth can inspire me? And then i thought. For a moment. Nope, i won't rely on any love interest to inspire me anymore, i need something more, something much much more.

My mum came first.. It's really strange but i can feel that she's telling me not to give up. and that my team needs me to turn the tables against the odds.And before you use the word "possessed" on me, nope, u should use "fortunate" instead. My mum may have passed away, but still, the bond between us is still there. And for that, i'm really glad.

One thing led to another, and then i recalled. Earlier on, i read the Newpaper, and on the cover page, there was the review of the match between Liverpool vs Everton. For your information, this was a do-or-die match as Liverpool needed to beat them in order to salvage their hopes in making the cut for Champions League. And yeap, Liverpool's my boyhood club, i supported them since young. Guess what? they won! Despite playing with 10 men that is. They fought and fought, braved the winds, and eventually beat Everton 2-1. That alone, was another major inspiration to me.

Of course there are many more, from my track and field coach, (i'm still sore for not thanking him during his farewell party. Stupid ngee ann, why didnt they extend his contract? fools.) and to my dream. I always thought of being the guy to pull my team out of the pits, to motivate them , and be the inspiration. Of course, the match wasnt of the same magnitude as Singapore vs Indonesia or the Liverpool match, but still, the theory "small things lead to bigger things" apply. And my dream really came true.

"Preeeeeeeet!" The whistle blew. Like a suddenly-possessed man, i ran around, trying to start the resurrection of our team. They were overconfident, really, but it was inevitable, they were 3-0 up! And dang, my shot went in.

Somehow, for a reason or another, they failed to realise that their overconfidence is starting to work against them. Never mind, like a see saw, we made sure they were going down, and we're going up. Our brute and growing determination enabled us to capitalise on their mistakes.

More goals went in. One after another. Our team finally played what we are capable of playing all along. Never ever underestimate the power of the mind. They scored one back, we roared back even louder via the means of more goals. From 3 down to them, we defeated them with the score of 5-4. What a comeback. What a fightback.

I always thought such comeback only happens in movies etc, and the saying "nothing is impossible" is fake. But i dare say, from today's experience, everything is possible if you try. One time may not be enough, so may the 2nd and 3rd try, but you just have to keep on trying. And i proved it today.

And last but not least, i would like to add that such comeback need not happen only during a soccer match or any other sport games. It can also happen in various part of your lives. Often in life, there'll be moments you'll feel down, battered, defeated, but still, the ability to stand back up, is yours to lose, yours to make use of.

And so i end here. If you do really read till the very end, i thank you for your time.

ps: to my teammates, thanks man.

2005-03-08T18:55:00.000+08:00

*the tough gets going*

Hey all, i'm back from ipoh, after spending my life's longest 3 days definitely. And i would really like to take this chance to thank all of you guys for your good wishes and concern. Seriously, im touched at the amount of good pals i have.. even my form teacher came to my house to drop me a note, asking me should i need help, i can look for her. All this proves that there's love in this world.. and i'm glad to realise that.

Believe it or not.. i'm really at a loss of words at the moment.. im pleasantly surprised at the words of consolation from all of you guys.. of coz, i will take these words and propel me forward in my life.

Listen guys, i'm a living example of not being able to tell your mom how much u love her till it's too late. My story isn't some possibly made up story u can find in the net or wadsoever.. mine's true.. 100% true.

I truly regret for not being able to be dere for my mom, even for weeks or months before her death, let alone the moment she passed away. Now that everything's over.. the least i can do now is to fulfill what my mom wrote to me before she chose to leave us.

But nope, its not the same for you guys. you've got time on your hands, so go right up and tell your parents u love them. And yeap cherish everything you love and any other things that would change your life should they disappear. Don't ever ever follow in my foot steps.

*Always remember, it's your mother whom granted you the ability to love, the ability to do things you like in life. how? by undergoing 9 months of pain. Be thankful*

2005-03-04T19:39:00.000+08:00

*grief. pain.*

I've got no idea what i should say right now. I just feel really wretched and consumed by guilt. I'm gonna be open about this, my mother has just passed away today..

Death hits everyone eventually.. i know that, and i'll keep that fact to remain strong. But i just really feel freaking pissed as in.. why can't I get to see her one last time alive.. or at least give me some time to get a good job, make grand kids for her. Why deprive me of this chance..

I'll be off to ipoh for a few days. I dont noe what'll happen to me. Maybe it's another part of life. A part that hurts really badly.

-please.. appear in my dream and give me your final words*

2005-02-26T00:06:00.000+08:00

*i'm lost*

It has been tiring. 16 years of walking down the seemingly never ending path. Not exactly path really, more like a giant road that has near infinite amount of fork roads. However, nobody sane will bother to figure out the total number of ways, let alone take all the path. It's just impossible. Time's not a constant.

I hate walking alone, though it had happened before, but some of the prominient figures i can remember are my parents, whom guided me when i was a quarter of my age. Sometimes i wish i can walk with them forever, be the young kid that cries whenever he wants anything, be it some toys or some affection. But no, things have to change, i have to move on.

There's something exceptionally strange about this road. the more you walk, the more you grow, learn and discover. From the land of baby toys, into a winding and narrow path of love. Confusing and misleading. Vines on the ground trip you, pricks on the side wall scars you, and a big giant hole that takes years to climb out of. The worst memories of my life was a result of me falling into the hole twice.

Dozens of helping hand could be seen at the end of the southwards tunnel that lost light. They helped me out, offered me help and made me get back on my feet. They are none other, my band of brothers, my trusted friends. Now onto the road of partying and gaming.

A strong gust of wind blew him aside. Into the most creepy of roads he ever seen. Thunders filled up the whole sky as he peered down at the awesome amount of forkroads right in front of him.

No more parents, lovers, friends to lead you. Now its on my own, my very own. What should i choose, where should i go, how will i end up like? Will I be proud on the day this path ends?

2005-02-16T23:06:00.000+08:00

*A silent repent*

Five stars and still counting,
only after a thousand can the path reappear,
the notion of home, keeps him going,
yet the anguish, cost him a tear.

Thirteen stars served as a reminder,
a wicked mirror, a ruthless him
a battered ego, a surrender
crestfallen, he bowed down to jealousy

Now twenty eight, he tried to conceal,
his second nature, his second form
A shirk of terror, fulfilled his fear
despite what, he refused to conform

A hundred soon, nine such number to go
swept by darkness, he ain't gonna leave
till the sinister in him, starts to grow
into purest of pure, clarity white

And he's better off left in the darkness.

~~~

Ah what the heck. Just some thoughts of mine. Never ever let jealousy take control of you. Don't hide it, don't conceal it. Face it and eliminate it. I'm still learning how to do so.

2005-02-14T20:20:00.000+08:00

*ine valent*

He sighed. The sight of his friend having a sunken heart beneath a big wide grin saddens him. Has love evolved into a painful experience instead? Perhaps love has just decided to give up on a selected few. and that includes him. he's all alone on valentine's day, for the 16th time.

Alrights, it wasnt that bad afterall. Just a rather cold empty feeling. but all he has to do to get rid of that mentally exhausting notion is to reaffirm his belief in staying in single. Freedom and friends are placed right at the top.

No point staying at home, listening to sappy love songs and groaning all day long. He figured out it might be better off spending time with friends, catching movie or something. Valentine's day is an internationally recognised friendship day afterall.

Deep down, he knew that a movie about romance ain't gonna work very well for him. thankfully the show's more a comedy than some chick flick, well whatever, he enjoyed the show.

Seeing couples was hurting. Somehow, he just somehow "imagined" that there's joyful angels above each and every couple's head. Two of them above each couple. One boy and a girl. The girl's holding two little hearts, and the boy cheekily aiming his cupid arrow right through both of them. Painfully sweet.

his walk home was depressing. Unwanted memories just reappeared in his mind uninvited. He tried, to defend himself from those hurting memories. Memories can really be some double edged sword. When you're in love, those memories are sweet, yet on the other hand, when you're out of love, the once-sweet memories haunt.

One of the memories was of a girl telling him that... "If you ever manage to catch a fallen leaf, make a wish, and it'll come true" A pity that the falling leaves were too far away, and way too short of the given time for him to react.. He contemplated going under a nearby tree, and not leave till he manage to catch one. It was probably fruitless tho, like love, it can't be forced. But given the opportunity, he would sincerely wish for love to be sweet and fulfilling for everyone.

Just few more hours to go, and all will be fine. A good night sleep will erase all that's hurting at the moment. And when the clock hits 12.00, he still has 364 days to make in time for next year's valentine day. will he? or will he not? he'll have to wait and see.

~~~

Happy Valentine's day all! And to all my pals, i love you all, and till death do us part baby =x (my blog's a year old btw =)

2005-02-06T23:15:00.000+08:00

*dead man walking*

Deep in his mind, there's a blank. Nothing much more than the image of resting at home after one long day at work, savouring a nice can of beer and watching the week's soccer.

And all that separates him from his home sweet home is a road. A massive road indeed. And of course, its being made huge so as to accodomate the number of cars.
Whatever it is, "soccer" and "beer" stuck on in his mind.

Perhaps lady luck finally chose to smile on him that day. The road was surprisingly empty. He turned his head towards right, then went on to survey the left. "Whoa, why issit empty?" he questioned himself. Normally, it'll be so jam packed that he'll have difficulty crossing. Nevertheless, the soccer beer thing lingered on.

He took the very first step, with impatience. Apparently, he's a huge fan of soccer and his favourtie team is playing against of all teams, Chelsea. "Darn, i need to be there so that Liverpool will win tonight"

The road suddenly seem to be neverending then, he decided to quicken his steps, and eventually he ran in the direction of his home. It is only then he got shockly knocked down, back on earth.

The car honked incredily loud and hurting. Little did he know the car was swerving in at top speed. With a second left to do anything else, he chose to stay still, rooted to the ground.

~~~~~

Bla bla bla, just some thoughts.

2005-02-05T15:22:00.000+08:00

*in the still of the night*

It isn't love when you just strive to be happy in a relationship, it's called investing.

Guess there's many ways you can interpret such a line. And what i feel is that, many people break up due to this investment crap. Of course, who doesnt want to feel happy? And what's the point of being together with someone when it hurts?

I beg to differ. Love isnt all about being happy. Love means going through ups and downs together with ur significant other, then to leave them behind when things become tougher or stressful.

whatever.. just a thought when I was spring cleaing my home. i'm never gonna let my future wife(if i find one, that is) to be some housewife. It's way too difficult.

This I Promise You

When the visions around you,
brings tears to your eyes,
and all that surrounds you
are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength
I'll give you hope,
keeping your faith when its gone
the one you should call
was standing here all along...

And I will take,
you in my arms
and hold you right
where you belong..
Till the day my life is through
this I promise you
this I promise you..

2005-02-04T22:07:00.000+08:00

*a great fall*

Taking a break out of maple right now i guess. *curses* I died because i wanted to accompany(by chatting) a good friend of mine whom cant play maplestory due to some computer errors. Guess my luck's pretty wretched today.

Anyways, who the hell invented tis notion called luck? This concept that i sppose most people believe in. Maybe its just something people can use to explain or blame. For eg. u succeeded in ur buisness, people explain it by saying its pure luck, or on the other hand, some birds targetted their droppings at your head, and you'll prolly blame it on bad luck. whatever it is, its a good thing, allowing humans to take advantage of.

I feel so wretched right now. Aaargh. And i'm like wishing for someone to come and bother to ask why i'm feeling so. But i guess, everybody do have their own problems too.. but it wont hurt sparing a listening ear ya? whatever.

So i guess. Sometimes you've just gotta make it out on ur own. what happen if you're stranded on a island, alone? what can you do? none other than to rely on yourself to get yourself out.

i wish i can just say i like you out loud. hoping you'll say back the same thing. thing is, i'm too weak a man to do so.

2005-01-31T22:18:00.000+08:00

*big world small me*

Man! I need serious help. Suddenly this question just hit me out of nowhere.. "What am i doing with my life?"

I've been gaming alot recently, yes, in a year in which i ought to concentrate on my homework instead. Yet i cant stop myself from doing so. At least i know where i'm heading to at the moment, so maybe its not that bad? Whatever. I am heading towards deep shyt if i were to continue spending my life, gaming away.

So why game? Not that the game is fun whatsoever. Its because my buddies are playing it as well. If one day they were to set on quitting the game, i suppose i'll follow suit.

I hate myself for wanting to win so much. Yeah, i admit, i'm a person who hates to lose. Anything of interest to me. take soccer for example, i hate losing to my opponents, and the irony ish that my opponents tend to be my good pals in school. and nah, i wont care if a zillion people wins me academically.

Ah, i just felt that i need to vent out a little. I had so many things to blabber about, but somehow, my mind just went blank at the critical point. I seriously need a new sense of direction in life. Something to aim and strive for. Damn, i think i should get some sleep now.

Ci de ku zong ku, fang wei ren shang ren. To dare the hardship among hardships, unto atop the fullgrown man among men.

2005-01-27T20:47:00.000+08:00

*a thought*

Hey, it's me again. yeah, sad, but anyways, i've been thinking alot recently, especially learning about some unfortunate things happening and stuff.

I believe that people use history to learn more of the past and perhaps not commit the same mistakes the people in the past commits. Well, it doesnt have to be the past that allows us to learn, sometimes you've just gotta take notice of things going around you.

It is false that its "better to be loved and lost, than to never love at all." Maybe not entirely false. Anyways, analyse for yourself.

I've known a friend, whos first love was a girl whom had over 10 ex. I've got no idea what happened exactly but in the end they two broke up and the gal hooked up with someone else. If i were him, i would rather not have love at all, and till now, this friend of mine still constantly.. thinks about her perhaps. V day coming, and this ger even asked my fren to buy her a gift. Perfect first love? Definitely not.

Okay another friend of mine, had a terrible first love. the most terrible thing happened i guess for him. this girl took advantage of him, took him for granted and even created a messy love triangle. and though he moved on, he continued to fall in love and end up being hurt.. all the time it seems. And now he's a very depressed man. Sigh.

Yupp. That's it about the true value of this quote "better to loved and lost than to never love at all".

So many crap so many thoughts, that's just me. I simply love to think and overthink sometimes. ahh.. the keyboard spoils here.

I hate it when you bring me so high up, only to let me go, let me fall. It may not be as painful as for you to throw me down to earth, but it still hurts badly. =/

2005-01-21T01:26:00.000+08:00

*i need a break!*

Man, what an extremely long day. Oh yea, i've fallen ill. sore throat and bad flu combination. And often when tis happens, I can prepare for a fever. Anyways, I'm supposed to sleep now, but heck, let me update tis neglected poor blog of mine.

Gosh was it huge. Yeap Ngee Ann polytechnic. Alwight, i havent visited other polys yet, but to me, ngee ann poly's so much bigger than ngee ann sec. Ngee ann sec ish pathetic. I repeat, pathetic. In terms of size anyway.

The CCA that the school offer was awesome. I kinda like the ninja-su alot. All the swords etc, whoa man, super cool. Would love to learn how to use them. Loads of other martial arts grp too.

And not to forget, the courses! Man, it'll be a great headache when i have to figure out what course to study, what path to walk and what route to take. I don't wanna end up doing a job that i have no passion nor interest in. Hey, i'm gonna work for the rest of my life. life certainly revolves around money.

Okay, i'm sneezing away like some retarded right now. guess it's time for bed. hope to wake up early morning later on..

I need you because i want you. I want you because i need you. There's a difference.

2005-01-14T14:57:00.000+08:00

*shattered belief*

Flame me! Yup, i know i've been updating freaking irregularly. I guess its because I love to procrastinate, in other words, postpone my update. Yea, i'm a last minute kind of guy, and i certainly ain't proud of it. Can't help it though. I think that explains why im such a loser in life or a notorious student who doesnt hand up homework. It's all because i procastinate.

Enough about all the procrastination thing. Well, i suppose quite alot of things happened this week. Just had this C.I.P thingy for today and yesterday. Had to knock on people's home and ask for old newspaper. By doing all this, we get to help those drug addicts start afresh. Meaningful eh?

By doing such cip work willingly, (note: willingly), im sure you'll feel a glow in ur heart when all comes to an end. And the benefits for doing such work doesnt stop there, our class got more united too as well.

For the very first time, i see my class behaving LIKE a class. As in, no more cliques, its just one big gang of classmates. Helping each other out, in hope of completing everything faster. And we did, naturally. Class spirit was in us. 4R5 baby!

Alwights.. when everything was over, i decided to kick some soccer ball back in school. Afterall, i've been playing basketball recently, and getting bored of it, soccer still my very first love. And i played and played...

It sure feels weird when you see your ex really close with another guy. Doubly worse if he is your friend. Yup, i had to go through that today. Well, my greatest wish after a break up.. is to never see her with any other guy. I know that's selfish but hey, seeing ur ex moving on wib another guy feels real awful.

Well.. i guess i just gotta get my perspective right. I've taken a break from the couple scene and back into single scene. The guy my ex ish wib now, ish just taking over my place, my role. And yea, i reckon he'll do a much better job than me.

I'm a lousy boyfriend i guess. That explains why I have 2 ex instead of none. Really, I will probably fail anger management course with flying colors, I'm a emotional person, really emotional, and i'm super sensitive, always thinking way too much. Possesive too perhaps. And i suck at surprising people. Seems to fail all the time whenever i try. All rights, i'm full of flaws.

And so i retreat to my "pig dog friends", all singles but looking for girl friend. But for me, the whole relationship thing.. is way too much for me. Close friends will do for me. Be it guys or gals. Being with a group of friends that are singles is good, for you can hunt girls together =x Not exactly, but ogling perhaps. Typical guys we are.

Okay, i spoke alot of nonsense. Time to maple. Lvl 44 baby!

Look up, stand tall. Keep going straight. Let nothing obstruct you.

2005-01-08T21:49:00.000+08:00

*right here waiting*

I've slept for only 3 hours yesternight, and still counting. No sign of exhaustion just yet. An entry before the night hab to be forced to end early.

Was involved in sec one orientation the whole of this week. It is all this events that allow me to be "big brudder" to those pesky sec ones that makes being a student councillor worthwhile. other than that, we'll be carrying tables and chairs instead.

My class was full of terror. Bunch of uncontrollable small peeps. but fun nevertheless, when they get serious, they do become really sporty and give it all when it comes to cheering. Ngee ann people are getting shorter and shorter it seems, my batch is considered short i guess, when we came in as sec 1 that is. now it seems to be getting worse. more brain = less physical growth perhaps. (ngee ann's aggregate's 240 now)

I've known myself better throughout this camp. I'm definitely a very flawed leader. Guess impatience ish one of my characteristics. I hate it when things cant seem to get into control fast, and i end up losing my temper and start scolding them. yea screw me, dey are just sec ones after all.

Of coz, there's no point if u know ur own mistakes yet u refuse to change ya? The new ncc hierarchy has change again, i'm finally part b platoon commander, a chance for me it seems =)

Lengthy reflection post i sppose. and boring ehs. the ink runs dry here.

*the one you should call, was standing here all along.

2005-01-04T22:07:00.000+08:00

*happy birthday to me!*

It's been a great day today. Unforgettable and simply awesome. I was pleasantly surprised when some of my friends actually wished my happy birthday, wen i didnt expected them to.

And presents! I actually thought when you're a guy, and pretty old(sixteen), presents don't come your way anymore. It's more of a trashing actually. Whoa, the opposite actually happened. I only ate one punch, and thats about it. And received two pressys =) thanks peeps.

And 1000 thanks to all my pals. thanks for the cake man, tis is one of my bestest best bdae i ever had. the other one i can remember is the one when i was much younger, i celebrated it over at mcdonald. yeh noe, some mcdonald birthday party. unlimited nuggets and all.

All in all, it's indeed a happy birthday to me. and i'm glad to be sixteen. so next tym, i shall bring my IC along to the movies, and off to NC-16 we go.

2005-01-03T22:24:00.000+08:00

*loneliness knows me by name*

Been chilly lately yea? Yes i often dont wear on any shirt when im at home, used to be warm you see.(eew eh?). But now it's tough w/o on top on, its really cold.

Im not sure why, but dere is a link between coldness and loneliness ya? Normally when you're lonely, you don't feel warm at heart, instead you feel empty, which kinda translate to feeling "cold". Ahh, i hope u get what i mean.

Really. You may see me having loads of friends, we can joke around, hang out togehter etc. But loneliness still hits you. For whatever stupid reason i do not know. Maybe other people have it worse than me. Maybe other people handle it better. Maybe other people are not oversensitive. Maybe i'm just inferior.

And yea, i'm gonna be eligible for nc-16 show tomorrow. I can finally watch them legally. ain't that bad afterall. >.<

It's better to give than to receive.